Will you be changing your last name?

No one will question if you're married if you don't take his name - and if they do, it's their problem, not yours. I took H's last name, but it has to be *your* decision - no one else can make it for you. If you feel strongly about keeping your name, then keep it.

I will not be taking my fiancé’s last name. He wants me to, but it just doesn’t feel right to me. It feels like as soon as you get married, you are supposed to give up your own identify and share your husband’s. Not to mention the tradition of women taking their husband’s last names is rooted in the thought that women were property that was transferred from their father’s ownership to their husband’s. And just…. No. I do not wish to partake in that old misogynistic tradition.

My last name is pretty unique and really long, so hyphenating wasn't really an option. I had originally planned on legally changing my last name and going by it socially, but keeping my professional licenses in my maiden name and going by that professionally. That seemed like an appropriate move when I was in a role where I was known moreso by my full name, but I ended up in a role where I'm usually just referred to by my first name, and my last name doesn't really matter as much. It seems like more of a hassle than just getting everything in my new last name now, so I'm planning to just go by my married name across the board.

I did not take my husband's last name for multiple reasons. And since we got married, I've had a few people (incorrectly) call me Mrs. [Husband's last name], and it's been slightly annoying to have to correct them every time, but I think that'll happen less and less as time goes on. I had suggested to my husband that he take my last name, which he wasn't opposed to, but he didn't want to go through the hassle of having to change it. So, we both kept our names, and are proud of it! It's a personal decision, and it doesn't make you any less married if you decide to not change your name. If your fiance really wants you and him to have the same last name, maybe ask if he's willing to change his last name to what yours is?

View Quoted Comment I don't mind if I'm referred to as Mrs. Husbands last name. I would never expect him to take my last name, my father is a POS, so he won't take the last name. However I don't want to go through the hassle of changing my name professionally and legally.


I suggested coming up with our own and he hates them all. I don't think he understands that I have to go through a lot of paperwork to change my name as well as the licensing board, update HR at the three separate places I work for. 🙃 like I'm already stressed about wedding things.
Idk I'm sick and over emotional lol.

View Quoted Comment How would you go about keeping your name professionally? You can private message me if you feel more comfortable but ideally this is what I'd like to do. I work as a sub occasionally and when I'm a teacher sub I am referred to as Miss. Last name. When I'm a sub in a health office I'm usually "Nurse alyssa" rather than last name.


Who would have thought name change was going to be so daunting. 😂

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I would have thought it okay to go by your husband's last name if that is all that people have in view. Otherwise it seems complicated to have to know your last name separately. It would just be a minor faux pas. I've not really paid attention to the difficulty of having a professional name different from my married name. That should not be a problem with me.

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I'm an attorney, so I reached out to the state bar, and they said I could keep my license under my maiden name even if I legally changed my name. All my degrees, office nameplate, email, etc. are already under my maiden name as well, so I probably would have just told my coworkers I was still going by my maiden name.

Not sure what the rules are with the licensing boards you'd have to go through, but I'd suggest reaching out and asking if it would be feasible to do something similar. You could also just handle all the paperwork and whatever after your wedding when the wedding itself is behind you lol.

View Quoted Comment Okay thanks! Yeah you're much more professional than me, just my last name is unique and it makes it very easy when people see my name for a contract. They know I'm reliable as heck. 😂😂
Will definitely be waiting until after the wedding to change my name. I've gone almost 30 years as a person and it feels like it's changing.

I am! My last name is too long to hyphenate and although I do really like my last name I’ve always wanted to share his name with him and honestly I don’t have much of a relationship with my dad and my mom changed her name to my stepfathers last name recently. So outside of liking my name I don’t particularly have a sentimental attachment to it

I plan on keeping my last name as well as taking his on. I learned from a friend that you can do that and then when you do that, Legally, I can use either one. I guess that the drivers license and passport have to have the whole thing but it would allow me to be able to continue my business as my current name and everywhere else go by my fiancee's

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How does that work? I think you can change your legal last name but still use your maiden name in business dealings (for example) because this has been your name (and you are not using a name with misrepresentation of who you are).

I am not only not taking my FS's last name, I am keeping my ex-husband's last name. I have had this last name most of my adult life/career and it is my kids' last name. It was never an issue with FS. He knows how hard I have worked to establish myself in my field under this name. We don't consider it my ex's name. It's my kids' name.

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So for my line of work (licensed therapist) your name on your license must be your legal name. And I have clients that write me checks that will ****% never remember the new one. So could simply be a bit easier on me legal wise when it comes to my professional licensure

View Quoted Comment My mom kept my dads last name for 20 years after their divorce and has been married to my stepfather for 15 of those years. He never minded because it meant a lot to me and my sister to have the same name as her. For the last 5 or so years she socially went as a hyphenated version of both last names online. She just legally changed it this year now that my sister and I are both adults

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I'm doing the combo - Professionally I'm staying my maiden name. I work for a huge corporation and since my name (and last name) are pretty unique, I was the only person I know who, when we were acquired by our now parent company, got to have an easy email (first initial last name @ company I work at .com) vs everyone else (which ended up being a weird combo of parts of their names in weird orders because there was duplicates) and honestly getting a new email is too much of a hassle! 😂

But legally, I'll change my name. I like my name, but luckily my first name goes well with his too. I like the idea of us having the same name. And he couldn't take mine as he owns his own business and has for 20 years. (Plus we're the last great hope for his family branch to continue past his generation with that last name, something my brother had in our family as well).

You kinda just gotta do what works for you. Its easier for me professionally to stay my maiden name (plus, my FH didn't work his butt off for my 3 degrees, I DID!) and socially/legally take his name.

I am changing mine! I feel like that’s not really the norm as much as it used to be and I honestly love that it’s not treated like an obligation anymore. But I want us to share a last name, and I want to have the same last name as my kids if we have any. My own last name is pretty standard while his is more unique!

I will not be taking my fiancé’s last name. I like being a part of my family and I’ve lived with this name for 40 years, plus I don’t want to go through the hassle of changing my degrees, etc.

Nope. My last name is important to me and I do not want to give it away. It would also make things quite complicated in my work life.

Nah, maybe a hyphen though. I like my last name, even though his last name sounds nice for me, my name associates me with my family and I want to keep it.