While there were a few hiccups in the very beginning of us finally having this wedding and reception (she MIL changed our event from a 6 person elopement to a 32 person wedding) I really wanted to use this time to embrace my MIL. For one we have had a rocky relationship in the past and two it seemed that over the last 3-4 out of 17 years of us being together things were shifting in such a good direction for she and I and we were doing so much better. I wanted to really put my heart into trying to be a good daughter and law and what better way than really making her feel welcomed such as making her a bridesmaid etc. When it comes to planning I am very thorough hell anal almost because I want to make sure that things go as smooth as possible. Because I know how over the top I can be I never delegate task to anyone or put them in a position to possibly mess up anything or feel overwhelmed. So it has literally been me and soon to be Hubbs working with all our vendors also we are paying for this whole thing entirely ourselves. Knowing we were doing everything ourselves and the angst we went through trying to pick just 32 people and having to explain to others why we did not invite them my brother in law was sweet enough to take on throwing us a huge reception in South Carolina where most of their family is from totally out of his own pocket. He expressed to her (MIL) this was a surprise he really wanted to pull off for us. He told her this way back in February when we first started planning. She told us in March that my brother in law would be doing this for us. Immediately we called to thank him and let him know we would arrange our plans so that we would get married in our home town of NC in Raleigh on Friday as we had planned and directly after the wedding and reception which ends at 7:30 we would all head to SC (a 3 hour ride) check in to the hotel (those of us who were not staying with family down there) and be ready for his event on Saturday the day he picked. We were all aware that this is how it would go since March my future Hubbs Uncle even offered to step in to help rent a van and help drive the 3 hour drive so that along with others my mother in law nor father in law would have to drive they could just sit back. So just last Friday Hubbs and I pack up to go to SC for the weekend I had to get a bustle in my dress and I was using that time as a day to spend time with her and go to lunch etc my dress appointment was Saturday. Please tell me why once we got to my in laws house on Friday as we are talking wedding stuff my MIL looks at me and him and say "you know I just think we should stay in NC another day after the wedding it's going to be rough taking the trip back that same night" My heart almost leaps further down South because we are less than two months out and she is making this kinda of change. I try as calmly as I can to tell her he (bro in law) has already started the hard work for months now of planning for Saturday to include getting a venue, DJ you name it. If you check out of the hotel Saturday morning and take a 3 hour ride home there is no way you are going to be there in time to welcome those who are staying with you and get to the venue to help him in time as you promised him to decorate. She then says well you know his father and I have health issues (Hubbs step dad is on oxygen but has a portable tank, her back hurts sometimes). I got so upset with her because she knew since February and not once protested anything. Now because of her we are tasking many of our guest who are from out of town to get another night at the hotel which is not under the contracted wedding block rate like the first night as well as change their flight itinerary. At first I was just so upset and felt she was and is being truly selfish she wasn't even going to be the one driving etc and she was not paying for any additional cost to anyone because of her waiting so late to address these issues. I went into clean up mode worked things out with my Bro in law and he is making new plans for Friday night for a selected few close attendees for us as well as hosting a farewell breakfast for our guest on Saturday really nice of him. Once we check out Saturday we are heading straight to our honeymoon destination and checking in few days earlier.
We were able to do damage control but now I do not have that feeling of really wanting to be closer to her anymore and I really want to find a way to allow my heart to move pass this. Sorry for the long read.
