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Jennifer
VIP August 2021

What Would You Do?

Jennifer, on June 1, 2020 at 1:29 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

Hi everyone!

So we had our dream day planned for April 18, 2020, and it was postponed due to Covid-19. We really are lucky our venue has most of the services in house and are literal saints who let us move our early spring wedding to August 1, but let us keep the "winter" pricing. Our photographer was open that day, as well as our DJ, so we were all set to ride out lockdown planning on getting married August 1, 2020 hoping that the virus would be more under control by then to be able to safely gather in our group of 150. We had already decided we would have our ceremony outside in their gazebo since it will most likely be good weather (and it is easily set up inside if not).

Well, a week and a half ago, Ohio's governor gave some good/bad news. The good: Weddings of 300 and under can proceed beginning 6/1. The bad: Weddings must follow all restaurant guidelines and there is no congregating allowed (meaning no dancing, no gathering at the bar, and social distancing must be practiced).

We're now officially two months out, and I'm starting to panic again like I was before we postponed the first time. The wedding want involves dancing, hugging, etc.

How do you social distance groups of friends who don't live together, and still seat people appropriately for dinner? I really don't want any guests being uncomfortable attending, or be viewed as selfish for proceeding, even though the state says it is okay.

We decided with the venue that we would wait until the last week of June to make any decisions.

Sorry for the rant up to this point: but the question is: what would you do if you were me and my FH? He is totally calm, like he was last time before we postponed, and thinks the guidelines will be less restrictive come the end of June. I'm not convinced that is the case.

Would you postpone? How far in to 2021 would you book? Also, as a guest, would you even be excited to attend a wedding that was postponed twice? I'm sure people have been so sick of hearing about the wedding since I got engaged in 2018, and by 2021, I feel like they wouldn't even be excited to come anymore. (Also, we are not into the idea of eloping and having a reception later on. We want everything done at once as we have already paid for the wedding and reception.)

Thank you for reading this long, rambling post of mine. I love the community on here and wanted advice from other couples who could help! Smiley heart

16 Comments

Latest activity by Brandyn, on June 28, 2020 at 2:36 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Dude as a guest i would still be excited to come even if it got pushed back repeatedly!!

    i do have to be frank here, i think i would postpone... just because it sounds like no dancing or socializing or gathering, etc is something very far off from an ideal wedding that i would envision in my mind. i don't even know how it would work! my wedding was last year and some of my best memories were on the dance floor and just getting to hang out with my friends and socialize and hug them and take photobooth pictures with them, etc.

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  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
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    I would postpone because not being able to dance or hang out with your friends, will not work out for a lot of people.
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  • Kenzie
    Dedicated August 2020
    Kenzie ·
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    So if I were you I would postpone. I know it sucks and is heartbreaking but you want a day where you don't have to worry about anything. My wedding is in August, and we are anxious to postpone in Maryland. I doubt our governor will allow groups more than 50 for awhile. But maybe at least April 2021 at the earliest? It's really hard to say especially since each state is so different and who knows what the future holds. As far as being a guest..ABSOLUTELY! I know it's not your fault your wedding is being postponed twice, and honestly I would be happy you are taking into consideration all the restrictions and safety of your guests. I totally agree about a wedding without hugging, close contact and dancing really isn't much of a wedding. I hope everything works out!

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Thank you so much! I probably sound so extra asking if people would be excited still, but I really want everyone to have a good time. I hope everything works out for you too!

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Thanks, Melle! And thank you for being frank, it was exactly what I was looking for! Smiley smile

    I agree, I have no idea how this would work, no socializing would be no fun!

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Thank you so much!! The funny thing is, I'm super self conscious dancing, but thinking about not being allowed to dance made me realize how big of a deal the dancefloor is!

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  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
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    Trust me, I'm not a fan of dancing either, but what else are people going to do after the reception is over?

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    If I were in your situation, I would postpone. Best of luck whatever you decide

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  • K
    Dedicated June 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I am in Ohio and we postponed to August 7 (still getting married on our original date). We are meeting with our venue this weekend to go over how they are handling all of the restrictions. From what I have seen in a wedding group on fb, not everyone’s venue around me is being as restrictive (not saying that is the right thing to do). We are planning on going forward with August 7 pretty much no matter what, I do not want to worry about this for another year 😝
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Exactly! If I just wanted to do a dinner, I would go to restaurant!

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Thank you so much, Hanna!

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    O-H! I think I may be in the same FB group too lol! I agree I don't wanna worry for another year, I've been planning this wedding since February 2018 and I'm so ready for the big day, but I'm just worried that the restrictions will be too much for us!

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  • K
    Dedicated June 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Yeah I understand! Some days I question everything and debate postponing til next year although I’m sure our venue is pretty booked and who knows what next summer will look like. I am hoping that things will be less strict outdoors (my ceremony is outdoors and reception under a pavilion) and that restrictions will lessen by August.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Oh that will be so beautiful! Fingers crossed this works out for both of us!

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    To me, a wedding is hugging and dancing with the people I love, and an event that didn't include that would not feel like a wedding to me. I would refuse to host an event like that (and spend all of that money) and call it my wedding. For some, a sit down dinner party version of a wedding would be fine - there are people who prefer that and don't like dancing - but that's not us. We want our wedding to be a party and having a social distanced wedding just isn't worth it to us. It sounds like you feel similarly.

    For some perspective, we postponed our May 30, 2020 wedding to June 12, 2021, but did end up doing a minimony on our original date because my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer and we felt it was important for her to be able to see us married and we don't know what the next year will bring. During our minimony, guests remained socially distanced and some wore masks. It was so awkward and did not feel like a celebration at all. While I'm glad we didn't delay our marriage, and my husband and I had some beautiful and sweet moments between the two of us, the event itself was really disappointing, and there is zero way I would consider doing a wedding reception that way. Honestly, it probably would have felt more celebratory if we had just eloped, because then we could have focused on just us and there wouldn't have been this awkwardness of having people you can't hug or even see their facial expressions.

    Now that we are married, we plan to delay our wedding celebration until the time comes when people can party freely again. If that happens in June 2021 great, but if we have to wait until 2022 or later, we probably will. I was super wanting to get married, and really distraught about the idea of postponing a full year and having things possibly not be better then, so I'm really glad we tied the knot regardless. However, the wedding itself needs to be a celebration IMO, and cannot really be that if people are still socially distancing the way we are now.

    Also, I would DEFINITELY be excited to go to a wedding whenever it can happen, even if its been delayed a bunch. Our friends were so happy we got married and have said they are so excited to actually celebrate with us when they can. People who love you just want you to be happy and want to be able to share in that - and if waiting is what it takes to truly feel free to drink and dance and party it up, the wait is definitely worth it!

    What would I do? I would postpone the wedding/reception until you can have the wedding you want. If you feel you need to get married in the meantime, elope, or have a small event with just close family and friends whom all feel comfortable interacting with one another in a more organic way. Social distancing and weddings (of any size) just don't go together IMO.

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  • B
    Beginner May 2020
    Brandyn ·
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    I just was allowed to have my reception .. it was under 50 ppl. I had 6 tables with less than 9 to a table. My Buffett and carving station was made to a served meal by servers. I still was allowed dancing at anyone’s own risk. I did provide hand sanitizer at everyone’s table as well. If the venue will allow you to keep the reception...I would say go for it. It’s really up to the individuals that are attending to make the call
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