Wedding, mental health, and taking control back.

Sorry if this is long and drawn out. A little backstory I’m 33, my fiancé is 34. We are financially dependent and actually both work two jobs. We have been together for 2.5 years living together for two of them. When we decided we wanted to have a wedding we never expected or asked people to chip in, and it’s never been offered. We are getting married March 12th.


What we didn’t know is how much drama wedding planning would truly bring us. From his sister threatening herself harm from not being a bridesmaid, to my mom telling me I’m selfish for having a wedding four hours away, to friends that won’t even text us back even though they are in the bridal party. This weekend after his bachelor party (which we paid a lot of money to fly back home for) I was on the plane home sobbing. I have a history of anxiety and ptsd, and he has ADD and PTSD. We are both normally fully functioning adults who cope the best we can. We have seen therapist and couples counselor and love each other very much and have a very healthy relationship.
Yesterday I decided I’m taking back my wedding. The things I have decided on so far is:-Not doing hair and makeup for everyone. Everyone has complained about having to be up so early for it. Even though it was fully optional. Instead I will be going to a salon. -not doing a huge rehearsal. We were going to invite close family as well as the BP but it’s a lot of the family that’s been creating drama.. I think now we are just going to do pizza and beers at our house and feed the BP. -not doing a huge party bus for family and friends when they don’t get along and don’t want to be around each other. Instead a small get away car for us.
Just seeking advice, has anyone else had to do this ? Or any other suggestions? We are meeting our wedding planner Sunday and we are going to go over things with her then. I just feel like in this whole process a lot of personal boundaries have dropped with friends and families and it’s been really mentally unhealthy/ borderline abusive for FH and I. He’s also 100% on board with all of this.