Wedding Announcements to Family/Friends not invited to Wedding?

I wouldnt sent anything. Im sure they will have heard that you got married. I think it will look a little gift-grabby. Its kind of an extra way of saying "Hey, look - we had a wedding and didnt invite you".

Its ok not to invite everyone you know.. but I really can't see any reason at all to send them an announcement.

Don't send them anything. People will move past the initial disappointment of not being invited, but sending an announcement of your upcoming wedding is kind of a slap in the face.

The purpose of announcements is to do just that: announce that a wedding has taken place. They are used for any number of people who would not be on a guest list for any number of reasons. The recipient is under no obligation to send a gift.

Yes, they are called "wedding announcements" - you don't send them before the wedding, you send them after (within a few days) to let people know that you were married. They are not gift grabby, they are quite traditional actually. Many people haven't heard of them because they aren't done as much anymore. But they are very appropriate for a situation like yours (very small wedding).

You never mention anything about gifts.

You don't have to send them, but it is an option.

I knew extended family would want more than a Facebook notification, so we sent out announcements. We didn't mention anything about gifts or a registry, and have not received anything from these people. It was just a gesture on my part.

I wouldn't send anything. If people ask or hear from others be honest. They will get over it soon enough.

I probably wouldn't send them.. I feel like that might make people who weren't invited feel even more disappointed.

No matter what you do it will come across gift grabby. Just announce it in person next time you see them, but word will get around. You don't really need to do anything.

Truth is, if you have to say "i don't want to seem tacky" or "I don't want to be gift grabby".....you are and there is really no way to get around it.

I would definitely recommend letting them know even if it's not formally. I had a cousin get married and not tell anyone and we were pissed not because we weren't invited but because we didn't know!

I think it's different with bigger weddings, like if you invited 200 people and still send announcements to those who weren't invited? But I think it makes more sense when you're having a very small wedding, such as yours, and just want to send them out to extended family. People like aunts who will probably keep it on their refrigerator for a while or something.

Also, at least in my case, you might not be able to just "announce it in person." I never see my extended family, due to my living across the country, but I do know they'd be more hurt by finding out through Facebook alone than by not being invited to the wedding.

It's mostly for family. We are financing the wedding ourselves and are on a very strict budget. Inviting extended family alone (aunts,uncles,cousins, etc.) immediately bumped up our guest list count to nearly 100. We don't see them very often so announcing it in person doesn't work for most. Maybe we won't send announcements to friends but we're still deciding on what to send to family, if at all. I guess we still have several months to decide. Thanks for the feedback everyone. People seem split 50/50 so I guess we can't go wrong with whichever one we decide! lol

Just text them lol

This is a great idea. I'd just post it on facebook.

I wouldn't send them just because you aren't TRULY eloping. Instead you're opting not to invite these people (which is perfectly fine, don't feel bad about that). I think of "traditional" wedding announcements being for people that actually eloped, not "practically eloped". You did take the time to plan an invite list, it's just a small one and these people didn't make the cut. To go back after that and send them something seems rude.

Word will get around. Post it on social media, tell the family there to spread the word as they talk to people. And then when the extended family asks, it's perfectly acceptable to say "we had a very private wedding with just our immediate families." Sending something will absolutely seem gift grabby, regardless of it says "no gifts" (which it my mind always sounds more gift grabby than leaving that out; same concept of a "humble brag")

I think wedding announcements are fine. It isn't a snub that you weren't invited or a gift grab. Etiquette is that you are under no obligation to send a gift if you receive an announcement. (No need to write that on the card). It is a way to formally announce that you got married. They used to be a lot more common, but now in the era of technology less people do them. I am the person that still loves getting snail mail and would love to find out that a friend was married via announcement as opposed to a Facebook post.

I think these used to be done more often or are maybe still done if you actually elope, but I'd skip them. Assuming you use some form of social media, I'm sure that people will figure out that you got married. I received a wedding announcement once, although they sent it before the wedding, and I found it really odd. Don't waste the money.

How are people supposed to know how to address their Christmas cards, or that they need to send *their* wedding invitation to "Mr John Doe and Ms Amanda Smith" instead of "Ms Amanda Smith and Guest", if you don't let them know about a change in life circumstances this significant? If you were having a formal wedding, you would just change "request the honour of your presence at" to "are pleased to announce", and tada! you would have the proper wording for an announcement. Since you're having an informal private ceremony, you should send an informal note that reads "John and I were married in a private ceremony last Saturday at the Smallville city hall. We look forward to the next time we see you, when we will be able to greet you as husband and wife. Love, Amanda." If you are an old-fashioned person who likes social niceties, hand-write these notes on a foldover notecard or your personalized informal. If you're a modern person who has never stamped an envelope in her life, send an email (but send it to one person at a time, so that it feels at least a little individualized.) Yes, your friends and family WILL feel snubbed if you don't even bother to tell them you've gotten married.

If they then send you a gift, accept it graciously and send them a thank-you note: it isn't your business to control their gift-giving impulses and declining a gift is, frankly, rejecting. If they think you are gift-grabby then they can come ask on an etiquette board somewhere, or look up announcements in their Miss Manners or Emily Post, and see that announcements are *themselves* a signal NOT to send a gift. Mentioning gifts on the announcement would imply that you DO feel entitled to control their gift-giving impulses and have chosen to be rejecting proactively -- so don't do that.

Great idea!

You don't. That's super tacky.

Change you avatar.