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Grace
Super February 2022

Wearing my mother's wedding dress at rehearsal?

Grace, on May 26, 2021 at 9:14 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 32

TL, DR: Would it be strange to wear my mother's wedding dress to my rehearsal dinner? Rehearsal, with dinner right afterwards, is being held at the venue the day before the wedding with just close family and the bridal party.


The long story (with pictures):
My mother brought out her wedding dress for me to try on almost as soon as I got engaged. I tried it on for a laugh and, suprisingly, it fit like it had been tailored to my body. The material doesn't stretch at all but every dimension is a perfect fit and has room to move comfortably.
My comment to her was, "Mom, it's really beautiful but HOLY SHOULDER PADS!" (She was married in 1991 so I shouldn't have been surprised) Wearing my mother's wedding dress at rehearsal? 1
Wearing my mother's wedding dress at rehearsal? 2
This is what I am talking about... It is especially noticeable because I am petite.
She laughed too and said I didn't have to wear it at all if I didn't want to, but it might be one less dress to buy if I wore it to a shower or the rehearsal dinner.
I am considering removing the shoulder pads or replacing them with much thinner ones. Here is a side-by-side after removing the pad from one shoulder.Wearing my mother's wedding dress at rehearsal? 3
1) Any thoughts about the shoulders?
2) Should I even be considering wearing this dress to the rehearsal dinner? Would that be weird?
Thanks in advance!

32 Comments

Latest activity by Grace, on June 16, 2021 at 10:36 PM
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    I would definitely take out the shoulder pads (and maybe not replace them with anything) - they overwhelm you. It would be kind of cool (to my mind) if you wore it to the rehearsal and dinner - but only if it's comfortable.

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  • devotedlydavis
    Expert March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
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    I think it would be super cool to wear to your rehearsal. A great way to incorporate a piece of your history. I would definitely lose the shoulder pads, I think it looks great without them.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    If you love it then wear it. Anything goes for attire

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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    Thanks for your thoughts!



    I am leaning towards no pads but the top layer of lace drapes very differently without them, hence the hesitation.

    Yes, it is actually very comfortable. The slip is soft and the way the sleeves connect to the bodice means they don't pull when I lift my arms.
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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    Thanks! Sometimes I just overthink these things.
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  • Rosie
    Master February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    I think it would be cute to wear it for the rehearsal, and as huge and 90s as the shoulder pads are... I kind of like them. They balance out the dropped waist to my eye.

    The dress looks of it's time anyway irrespective of whether you leave them in or not, so you might as well go whole hog!

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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    Thank you, Rosie!! Appreciate your insight and opinion.


    The more I looked at them (the shoulder pads) the more they grew on me. In the end, I just couldn't forget my first gut reaction of shock so I took one out to see what it would look like without them.
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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    You know what, Michelle? You are absolutely right.



    I guess I need to be reminded sometimes that what others think doesn't always matter.
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    I LOVE this idea!! Smiley heart

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  • L
    Lisa ·
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    How cool! Alterations or not, this is simply a great idea. Love it.
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  • J
    Judith ·
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    Reduce the size and material of the pads, but do not eliminate them entirely. A half Moon of a soft clear plastic, or a pleated fan of pellon just at the top, would be a nice compromise. The RD is a small sentimental group, perfect place for it.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    What a sweet gesture! 🥰
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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    Thank you, Judith! Also, the specific recommendations of what to replace them with is very helpful.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I think this is the sweetest thing ever (although, having gotten married in the late 80's I might be a little biased Smiley winking ) and the dress fits you like a glove! Personally, I'd probably remove the shoulder pads, but other than that you look gorgeous in your mom's dress.

    FWIW I remade my mother's wedding dress from 1948, so I'm a sucker for these types of "hand-me-down" traditions. I kept her skirt, but had to make a whole new bodice.... I didn't put in shoulder pads, but it had stiff gathered netting inside the tops of the sleeves that gave the same effect! Smiley winking

    Best wishes! Smiley heart

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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    I think it’s gorgeous and agree on removing the shoulder pads
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  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
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    I love her gown. This is a beautiful idea. I wish my mother kept her dress.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Wow it's a gorgeous dress. I say go for it!
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    Reusing your mom's wedding dress as part of your wedding related festivities is a lovely idea and the dress is beautiful (w/o the shoulder pads, with is just a bit too much on your frame). I don't think its weird at all!

    I fit in my mom's wedding dress as well and have thought about if there is anything I could wear it to. I might have her bring it up to our wedding, just in case we decide on dinner the night before or brunch the day after.

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  • Mcskipper
    Rockstar July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    LOL those shoulder pads are wild. I’d remove them and wear it to the rehearsal. There’s not a thing at all about that that sounds even remotely weird, in fact it sounds really really awesome and lovely. And (sans shoulder pads haha), it’s a really beautiful dress and perfect on you!
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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    Sounds like your wedding dress was a perfect blend of hand-me-down and new. Very sweet and sentimental. ❤ I'm trying to do the same, just by having two dresses (old and new) rather than incorporating both in one dress. I love sentimental things so I'm really glad I am able to include this one in my wedding somehow.



    Thanks for the input on the shoulder pads. That was the decision I was most hesitant about but most people have said to take them out so far.
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