Uninviting my fh cousin…

If your wedding isn't until October you don't need to make any decisions yet. Invitations go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. I'd wait and see how this plays out before making a decision.

Generally though, it depends on if this is the hill you want to die on, knowing if you don't invite them literally every family event will be awkward, because it's a cousin.

;That's the problem with inviting people so early, relationships can change. You've already invited them, so it would be incredibly rude to uninvite them, and you may end up looking really bad to everyone. I suggest just inviting them.

I mean it's not rude to send the invitations so far in advance, as long as there's not an RSVP required really early. However, you may have to send a reminder to some guests when it is time to send RSVP's, because the invitation would have arrived months prior to that. People might forget.

I'm not sure that the poster read the follow up comment because it was in the thread chain and not the OP. No-one's trying to make you feel bad.

It is in fact considered inappropriate etiquette to send a wedding invitation that far in advance because it implies that you want people to prioritize your wedding over that of people who send invitations in the normal window of time. Destination weddings are no exception. Putting aside the burden on others that a destination wedding can be, anything people need to do in advance can be communicated the same way as for any wedding, by way of a save the date and wedding website or mailing with important deadlines and information about making reservations, hopefully the kind that can be easily cancelled.

I don't disagree with you about not wanting a relationship with this cousin as things are now but you and your FI would have to be willing to accept the inevitable consequences if you were to uninvite her and determine if it's worth it. I agree that there's no need to do anything right now. Things can change between now and then.

I definitely wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I was just stating that sending invitations that far in advance could cause problems especially since you didn't mention that the reply date was 6 weeks before which is still a long reply date. Also no I'm not suggesting you retract them. At this point it's too late. I'm simply saying save the dates would have been a better option. Guests would've still been able to get the necessary information with your save the date as you could have either put an information card with the save the date or included the information on the website but at this point what is done is already done.