To have/not have a flower girl and ring bearer

We aren't having any children in the wedding. The best man will have the rings in his pocket . Since it doesn't seem like you have any young children in your circle currently I don't think anyone would be surprised to see that you skipped that tradition. I ve been to lots of weddings that didn't have a flower girl or ring bearer, I ve also been to weddings where those roles were done by adults you do you

We're also skipping the ring bearer and flower girl for our adults-only celebration. I've heard some people give rings to the best man. You could even consider the officiant or your partner if you trust wedding-fay brain lol.

Of the weddings we have attended together and separate, only one has had a flower girl or ring bearer. Typically they are for aesthetics only. The best man and/or the maid of honor will carry the real rings. Or the officiant may already have them. We aren’t having a ring bearer or flower girl because we don’t know anyone in that age range to ask.

We skipped this. Our wedding was adults only so we didn’t want any upset guests over having a flower girl or ring bearer. On the morning of, we gave the rings to the best man.

We decided to forgo it and not have a flower girl or ring bearer because we wanted a (mostly) adults only wedding. My husband’s new niece was only a year old at the the time, so we deemed that not old enough anyway. The only off-put reaction was from MIL - not even SIL and her husband, who rightfully did not expect us to ask and never asked us themselves - which if you read enough posts on here, it’s usually the MIL that cares way more about their grandchildren participating in sibling’s weddings than the actual parents of the child 😂😂😂
She eventually got over it though and we had a great wedding. No one asked “where’s the flower girl and ring bearer????”

We aren’t having a flower girl or ring bearer. Most people don’t actually let the ring bearer carry the ring anyway (it’s either an empty pillow or a faux ring for show). Usually the best man carries the rings. I am giving both rings to my MOH though, because I trust her organizational skills way more LOL Plus I’ll be with her right up until the ceremony, so I can visually ensure she has the rings before we start the ceremony.

We didn't have them either. As PPs said, usually they don't carry the *real* rings anyway (too much chance of them getting lost), so the BM/MOH will have the real rings.

It is VERY common to not have them.
We didn’t have them. Wasn’t weird at all especially since it was a kid-free wedding (frankly in that case I think having them would’ve been weirder !)
The best man held on to the rings. This is pretty common even if you have kids involved. Another option may be to leave them with the officiant

We didn't have a ring bearer (my son who had just turned 9 was in the wedding but he deserved a better honor than just ring bearer) or flower girl (we decided and the play on it, with one of our groomsman being the "flower guy"), and I have to say that in my opinion it helped made the day flow by easier.

It's perfectly okay to skip the tradition of having them as it's all more personal choice whether you and your fiance want to.

We're not having a ring bearer or flower girl either. We're planning to give the best man the rings before the ceremony (I'll probably hang onto them beforehand so our photographer can get all the detail shots).

I think it's fairly common not to have a flower girl or ring bearer, especially since lots of weddings are adults-only. If neither of you knows any children at an appropriate age, I doubt any of your guests will bat an eye at the decision not to have either.

We didn’t have either. We had a kid free wedding, and that included the wedding party. Almost every wedding I’ve been to, they end up crying or making a scene while walking down the aisle. So we had no desire to have them.

Jumping on to say we didn't have them either. In fact, every wedding I've been to where there is a flower girl/ring bearer, they with don't make it down the whole aisle, need to be helped by an adult, throw a fit in the aisle, or all three at once. Some people think it's cute, I've always found it awful to sit through, so we avoided it.


My husband's brother couldn't be a groomsman due to uncertainty around his military schedule, but he was able to be there and had our rings on him in the front row. If he was able to be a groomsman, he'd have been best man and would've carried them.

I skipped having them! although there were people i could have asked their kids to be ring bearer, etc for i kind of felt like it was more to coordinate and plan with kids

It seems the flower girl and ring bearer are just designed to add the cuteness factor to the ceremony. There is the addition of including young relatives in the ceremony ... also for the interest of their parents.

Is there actually any more official reason?

I suppose we would consider it if we had young relatives but that is not happening.

I know that people will usually have the best man hold onto both rings in his suit jacket even if there is a ring bearer. What I’m doing to incorporate the cousins I’m really close to (2 little girls who will be my FG and 2 preteen boys) is making them ring security to escort the ring bearer who is an absolute wild child, from a different cousin, and who do not trust at all with the rings. There’s two of them so each one will get a ring. They love to be center of attention, so I got them ear pieces and sunglasses and little boxes that will fit in their suit pockets (though I might get little suit cases just to be safe) so that they can look at the crowd, pull down their sunglasses, put them back up and then hand over the rings to my sister and my FH’s brother.



Some people also go the opposite route and include their grandparents as the flower girls and ring bearers too.

If you don't have the children to fit the bill, there is not need to go looking for them! Many weddings now have none, the best man hold the rings, their are ring and flower grandmothers, dogs walking down the aisle, or there is not bridal party at all and the officiant holds the rings! Bridal party traditions are perfectly fine to break!