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Jai
VIP May 2020

To go or Not

Jai, on November 9, 2020 at 6:23 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 32
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My husbands best friend (they've been friends for about 20 years now, since they were 8) is getting married to his FW on 12/12/2020 in a quick elopement outdoor garden ceremony and invited us, both sets of their parents and her sister. Well yesterday when she told us via text , I asked if they have plans to do anything after(mini reception or even cake &punch). She said no , due to covid they decided that after the ceremony there will be nothing. Only taking pics and everyone goes home. Well, I told my husband that is rude because now we will be driving 30 minutes to the outdoor garden ceremony site and standing there for 15min then another 15-20 min for pics then going home. Hes unhappy about that too. It has me debating if we should even go. We wanna go to show support, but neither of us has ever been to a wedding where they DID NOT have a reception or something small, so this is a first for us both. We got married in May during the pandemic with 7 people and still had a reception (local soul food restaurant catered it) and alcohol and cake. If anyone else was in this situation what would you do ?

32 Comments

Latest activity by Jai, on November 11, 2020 at 9:49 AM
  • S
    Dedicated November 2020
    Shakiyla ·
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    I would go!! I’ve definitely gone out and support my friends for much less. Most of my close friends live 30 mins - 4 hours from me. I get your frustration but they are also in a tight spot. Covid has made things very tough for everyone especially for couples getting married this year.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Thanks! We will prob go since my husband is very close with them. Back in May there was no indoor dining and our options were very limited but we still had something. Even when we hang out at other peoples places the host has food, snacks and drinks. So it just seems a little odd to me. But I do see your point, because covid has made it so difficult for all couples
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I would definitely go! They’ve been friends for a long time- since childhood, not a lot of people can say that. The frustration is there, I can understand your point but the poor bride probably isn’t getting the wedding that she really wants. COVID!
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  • S
    Dedicated November 2020
    Shakiyla ·
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    Oh now I definitely understand where your coming from. They could of had cake or something nice and like afterwards. Most people would want to hang around and talk after the ceremony.
    If I didn’t go through the process of planning and having a wedding this year myself, I probably would be just skipped it too lol
    But during the planning process my friends were like I don’t care where or what your doing I’m there regardless, COVID or not. They were definitely there, so now I definitely have no excuse not to miss anything 😂😂😂
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I think you should still go. You could alwats bring store bought cupcakes.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    They plan on doing something next year. And both are content to do it this way. They wanna get married ASAP due to having to move so I understand
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    That's true. I prob wont bring cupcakes lol. I'm hoping they still might do something small but if not we will just go n show support
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Lol very true! Glad your friends are supportive!
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I would definitely go if they’ve been friends that long.
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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    If you have the funds maybe invite them to dinner
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  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
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    I would go. It takes me 30 minutes to get to work so I would definitely go to see my FH best friend get married.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I would still go to support them. I realize it's a far drive, but you and your fiance could always go to dinner after the ceremony or find something to do in the area so that you don't have to immediately drive back.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    We did mention that too. That maybe we would to celebrate
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Mhm good idea because there is a few places we could all go to! I appreciate all the advice because these are good ideas
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  • Monica
    Devoted August 2021
    Monica ·
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    Unfortunately we had to (sort of) do this. Due to restrictions in my state at the time, we weren't allowed to hold a reception at all. Maybe that is the same where you are? We did give people mini bottles of champagne and a cupcake to take with them so maybe this is something your husband's friend is planning?


    It's up to you if you go or not but keep in mind this is probably not this couple's first, second or even third plan and they are doing what they think is right to keep people safe. I was shocked but had someone drive 2.5 hours one way to attend my 8 min ceremony and eat a cupcake with me after. That meant the world to me!
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    This is actually their first plan. They want to do it this way. We are in NJ and that is where their ceremony is. So they can have something but are choosing not to. So we are gonna respect their decision and attend the ceremony to show support. And us being there will def make them happy, so I think we will go. I appreciate the feedback !
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Unfortunately, with Covid things are so up in the air. I would still attend. My husband is from NJ so his family and friends are posting all the time about Covid. His one aunt just posted the other day that Governor Murphy wants to shut down things again so it is understandable that they aren't going to have any type of reception because who knows what would even be allowed.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    Yea after discussing it with my husband we decided to still go and how covid has been impacting it all. So we want them to make the best of their day
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I would probably go too.

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  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
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    I would definitely go, and I would feel like a terrible friend if I didn't go.
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