To fire or not to fire, that is the question ...

My fiancé and I met with his friend (more of a close acquaintance) for dinner to discuss him officiating our wedding. He brought his wife who I'd met just briefly once before, and who I thought was lovely.

Discussions at dinner with Jerry (Officiant) slowed quickly as Barbara (his wife) often interjected her ideas, noting I hadn't performed several weddings as they had.

She doesn't know me well enough to make assumptions or to know that before my current profession, I was an event planner for nearly 10 years. She doesn't believe I have a proper timeline & noted it's the officiant's job to create that. Though I & my fiancé voiced our preferences, she countered them adamantly, following up with, "or we can do whatever you want I guess", to which I'd say yes please, which made her visibly annoyed. I appreciate someone wanting to help but I don't appreciate someone I barely know attempting to control our event. She asked who was doing my hair/makeup. I said I was. She said that's not a great plan. She also made small talk when we 1st arrived at the restaurant noting she wore her hair in a messy bun she just threw up in the bathroom.She asked about my flowers & I said I was getting them at Safeway. She they weren't as good as Costco. Nothing we planned seems up to par for her.
I am put off terribly by her and worry she'll attempt to dominate/control the event, possibly bossing others I've asked to help. I feel I need people present I can trust to help the day run smooth. Its an incredibly small wedding (just 4 of us in the wedding party plus 4 guests. The recpetion will have a total of 25).
The officiant is very kind, gentle, and well spoken but I feel he allows his wife to write the speech and allows her too much input. Had I known I'd be coordinating with her VS him, I may not have elected to hire him. As a friend, he works pro Bono, so nothing has been exchanged. How do I/we (likely my poor fiance) fire Jerry w/o being rude or obvious that his wife and I are not compatible. Is it just as simple as saying, "hey Jerry, thank you & Barbara for meeting with us for dinner. We had a great time. I think we found someone else to go with to officiate the wedding. I hope you dont mind us going a differnt direction." How do Iwe close? What do we say to end the conversation? They aren't close to us. But our professional industry is one where we'll see him again often. We'd like to stay on good terms. They are not invited to the wedding beyond him officiating so no issues there.