To baby or not to baby?

So I have PCOS and it took us a year to get pregnant. Five months of that year I was on medication to help me ovulate. We waited until we got married to try to conceive. I didn't want to have a baby before we were married, but it is completely a personal decision.

My fiancé and I are more than ready and so excited to have a baby. If I could have gone back and gotten pregnant sooner, I often debate that however at the end of the day, I feel like waiting until after the wedding was definitely the best decision we came to. Our wedding is only a few months away so we will start at that point. I’m also 30, and I worry about age factor as well. We want two children And sometimes it does worry me that I will have to try to get pregnant right after the wedding and what if I have issues getting pregnant. All in all, medical fertility has come along way. I would stay positive. They say any age under 35 is an OK age. So I think as long as you talk to your doctor about all of it, I think you’ll be OK. I swear, there have been so many times where I thought to myself, Covid would’ve been the perfect time for us to get pregnant. We are both home all the time and haven’t seen anyone so I could’ve gone through my whole fat stage in private. However I keep reminding myself of my gorgeous dress and then that shakes me out of wanting to be pregnant now because I will never ever fit into my dress if I’m pregnant LOL

A wedding does cause a lot of stress, which might make for a tougher pregnancy. I’m sure there have been plenty of pregnant glowing brides, but a few friends miscarried their first baby... one a few months before her wedding which really saddened her entire wedding experience. It’s a personal decision but waiting a year until your wedding might be good.

I’m 33, was supposed to be married last year. I desperately want children, but decided to wait until after the wedding. This was only due to not wanting to be pregnant on my wedding day. If that doesn’t bother you and/or you have a large enough window I’d say go for it. When we got engaged (had I known covid would mess up our original wedding date) we would absolutely have tried!

If you have PCOS, it may take longer to become pregnant, so if I were you I might try to prioritize trying. However, I also get wanting to be married before having the baby, and I think that's fine.


You could start laying the groundwork while you wait to try. Do you track your cycle? Have you learned about proper diet for conception? Are you at a healthy weight for conception? Do you have a sense of the quality of your eggs? Preparing these aspects now can help you get pregnant sooner after the wedding.

View Quoted Comment That's a good idea, maybe talking to my OB will help me prepare without actually trying quite yet.. thanks

View Quoted Comment I understand that it's a personal decision.. there's just a lot of internal and external pressure though!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing. It's good to know someone else my age isn't quite panicking about the choice yet, if I understood you correctly lol. I think maybe talking to my OB would be a smart idea.

View Quoted Comment That's a really good point. With my anxiety disorder, in pretty prone to stress so I might be more successful if I do wait. Thanks

View Quoted Comment Would you have been comfortable having a baby before the wedding, if the dress wasn't a concern?

View Quoted Comment I understand. I'm currently pregnant and it can be very tiring and at times stressful so I can't imagine being pregnant while planning a wedding. Also trying to get pregnant was very heartbreaking because every time I got my period I would cry. I don't think that's the headspace I would've wanted to be in while trying to plan for one of the happiest days of my life. I didn't even know I had PCOS for the first six months of trying to conceive, but since you already know it might not be as difficult because you should be able to start medicine to help conceive right away. However, I understand being worried because of your age and the fact PCOS makes it harder to conceive. I would talk to your doctor to come up with a plan that might work best for you.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing your story, it really helps to hear from others

View Quoted Comment It’s up to you, of course, but most couples seem to get stressed wedding planning. I wouldn’t want a little bun in the oven to be infused with that stress—but I’m Type A so maybe Type B brides/mamas do fine. 😊

Y'all, I'm over 35 and DH and I are working on the whole pregnancy thing. My doctor is not remotely worried.

30 is not the end of the world.

PCOS is one thing, but age?

There's a lot of scare mongering about age, but 30 is not the problem.

...I wouldn't want to plan a wedding while pregnant, or with a newborn.

I wouldnt recommend it if you plan on having a large enough wedding that will cause you stress,, which may impact the pregnancy.

If it were me, I would prioritize your want to be a mother over anything else. Like someone else said, it may be a process for you to get pregnant. It may take longer than expected, so I would want to start trying sooner than later. You may not even be pregnant for your wedding, unfortunately! I think I would rather start trying now, if you find out you are pregnant before your wedding, you will be so happy and figure it out as far as wedding plans!

This is something I think about often! A lot of us try so hard to prevent getting pregnant, but God forbid we have struggles getting pregnant when we want to.

If your FH is on the same page, I think it would be totally acceptable to start the process of getting pregnant!

View Quoted Comment I hadn't even considered the stress of wedding planning, I think that is an important factor to take note of

View Quoted Comment I'm still scared about age.. I think the scientist in me just knows too much about embryology. But you make a really good point. The risk does go up after 30, but maybe it isn't the end of the world... Thank you truly for sharing!

View Quoted Comment I guess that's true. Baby making is more time based than planning a wedding. I should talk to my FH and see what he thinks about the timing too. Thanks!

View Quoted Comment Ok, but remember there are a LOT of us over 30 on here.


My MIL had both her kids over 35.
Having medical conditions, yeah, that's a real worry, but MANY people are having their kids over 30.