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VIP October 2019

Tiny vent

Ivy ORP, on August 9, 2019 at 11:20 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 18

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My FW has worked for the same company more than 30 years. In that time she has become close to several people, watching them get married, have children, and in some cases lose their spouses and other family members. One that she considers a good friend has always politely greeted me when we see each other,and my FW wanted him to do a reading at our wedding. She asked and he said that he supports HER, but just couldn't. She let it lie there but I was truly hurt for her. Still, she wanted to invite him and his wife (only one of two work couples invited) and I supported her in that despite my personal misgivings. Our RSVP by date came and went and I asked her to talk to him. After finally getting a chance to talk to him for more than 30 seconds she said he told her to mark them as a yes and they would try. To me this is just so rude! I can't control how others feel about us, I'm just going to keep living, but this has me so bothered I want to tell him not to come. I refuse to get involved, this is her "friend" and I leave that up to her, but seeing the hurt in her face makes me so mad! I'm not looking for advice, but it's not fair of me to unleash these thoughts on her so I'm doing it here in attempt to put it out of my mind.

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18 Comments

Latest activity by October2019, on August 9, 2019 at 7:45 PM

VIP October 2020
Kelly · on August 9, 2019 at 11:24 AM
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You're being very paitent and understanding! I'd be fustrated too in this situation.
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 9, 2019 at 11:34 AM
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If I make it a big deal it will hurt her more. I could never intentionally do that. But he isn't going to get a warm reception from me next time we see each other.
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on August 9, 2019 at 11:36 AM
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I'm so sorry you are going through this! It's so hard to see the one we love hurting. As much as we think we've evolved as humans, there are still plenty who go through life with a closed mind. Very patient of you to have kept your feelings to your self.
Many blessings and great joy to you! I wish you and your FW every happiness as you move towards your special day!!
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Expert February 2020
Sara · on August 9, 2019 at 11:41 AM
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That's awful. Not only is what he said in the first place awful..but I also find it extremely rude to maybe try to make it to a wedding. It costs money to invite people!
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 9, 2019 at 11:49 AM
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Thank you. We are very happy and plan to share that happiness with those that truly love and support us.
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 9, 2019 at 11:52 AM
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Right?!? But when I said it was rude she kind of had a hurt look on her face. I know it hurt her enough that someone is doing this, I refuse to hurt her more. The worst part is another person she considers a close friend refuses to respond to us at all, but we know it's not because we're two women. Good riddance in my opinion.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on August 9, 2019 at 12:02 PM
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I'd be frustrated. Not wanting to give a reading is one thing but not being able to give a yes or no is crazy.
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Expert February 2020
Sara · on August 9, 2019 at 12:05 PM
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I would think she's hurt by the other people more than your reaction to them. But it's great that you're that aware of her feelings. She's very lucky to have you.

I agree. Good riddance. Lifes too short to spend time on people who don't truly care.
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 9, 2019 at 1:16 PM
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I know where the hurt comes from, but I don't want to rub salt in that wound. We're lucky to have each other. She truly is my best friend.
We are going to have an incredible celebration regardless!
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 9, 2019 at 1:17 PM
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As far as I'm concerned that is three people I don't need to add to our final total.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 9, 2019 at 2:00 PM
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That's so sad! I can totally see why you're both frustrated. There's no need for him to be so passive aggressive about the whole thing!
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 9, 2019 at 2:04 PM
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That's how I feel. He's going to miss one heck of a celebration!
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VIP September 2019
Yam · on August 9, 2019 at 2:06 PM
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He sucks. Sorry but he does. A wedding guest should come to support the COUPLE, not just ine side.
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Expert October 2020
Sara · on August 9, 2019 at 2:28 PM
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I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It is so hard to see someone you love hurting and being powerless to make it better.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on August 9, 2019 at 2:49 PM
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I’m going to point out another reason as to why he won’t say he’ll definitely come. Maybe he has a thing against going to coworkers weddings, no matter how friendly. Maybe your wedding is at a tough time of year for him to go, as in maybe it’s mid soccer season and the kids can’t miss a game or it’s the one month a year family travels into town to visit. Before you jump the gun and assume this guy is an ass, when all signs previously showed he was a decent human being, give him a chance. Furthermore, while myself and about everyone else on here feel you should be free to love and marry whomever you want, people do not have to agree as long as they treat everyone equally, and there is no way to force them to. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope it al works out. Hope you have a wonderful wedding!
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 9, 2019 at 4:19 PM
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He has actually been the DJ for other coworkers and is older, no kids to taxi. I agree he can feel any way he wants, I can't change his opinion, but his flippant attitude about giving her an answer is not only rude but leaves her feeling judged by someone she respected. Even my dad who was slow to get on board was one of the first to reply and let me know they'll be there to support me. If he doesn't want to come, fine. I'd rather someone tell us how they feel than this. I'm real quick to remove people that add nothing positive to my life but I can't make those decisions for her.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on August 9, 2019 at 4:31 PM
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Well that just really sucks. I always hope that there’s explanations for people being jerks, but unfortunately it seems in this case he just is one. I’m sorry you’re both going through this.
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Dedicated October 2019
October2019 · on August 9, 2019 at 7:45 PM
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We just had someone today say they will try to make it to the wedding. In fact it's someone who just invited us to their birthday party in another state and we plan to go. Your FW feelings may have been hurt but based on what you said he doesn't seem rude and it's not uncommon for people to say I will try to make it. He can turn down doing a reading and it not be rude. We asked my FH nephews to do readings they are 10/11 and guess what they said no. It's also not uncommon for people to to RSVP by the deadline ours was July 15 and people are still sending in their responses.
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