Thoughts on dress codes

We will definitely not have a dress code listed anywhere. Adults can dress themselves and I don't really care what they wear - weather its sundresses and khakis or semi formal or formal. They can decide. If they are worried, they can ask or look up pictures of the venue to get a better idea. If they show up in sweatpants, well that's more reflection of them than of my wedding. As a guest, however, I wouldn't care either way if I was given a dress code or not.

I think they're silly. If you dont' want people in jeans, don't get married in a barn... But in all seriousness, what people wear has no effect whatsoever on the enjoyment of your day. You're just as married. In my experience, listing a dress code just makes people more stressed and confused "what does dressy casual mean, can i wear X outfit if it's cocktail attire, etc" . If anyone asks you what they should wear i think the only acceptable answer is "whatever you're comfortable in!"

We just put under our FAQ on our website that cocktail attire is appropriate but to also dress warmly as its outside in the evening.

I think my main problem with etiquette "rules" is that they cannot cover every single social setting and group of people. Etiquette in one location can be "Never have a potluck celebration because guests shouldn't be required to bring food to events," while somewhere else the etiquette is that you better make sure you bring a dish to whatever potluck event is happening this week or you're being rude by showing up empty handed wanting to eat.

The common theme on here seems to be that people have more problems with being asked to dress fancier than the event being held. The people we know do the exact opposite. We go to award banquets yearly, including ones for only champions across our entire state, and are in the minority wearing dress clothes. Most people will show up in their dirty jeans and sweatshirts and not think there's a problem at all. We've shown up to a funeral in Sunday Best clothes and everyone again was in jeans. Because of all of this, I'm going to include on our website that it would be preferred if everyone wore their Sunday Best, because that at least may help some people choose not to wear jeans for once. Will I be upset if they do? Not at all, but I'm already making a point to let ladies know to wear heels appropriate for walking in grass, so I'll add in a "dress code" too.

We attended a celebration of marriage last year and there was no direction for attire on the invitation. The wife actually reached out to us and said she was getting texts and calls regarding attire, and realized she forgot to put it on the invites, so she was reaching out to everyone to let us know the dress code was 'cocktail' lol.

I personally like dress codes, especially for a wedding. Sometimes I can't tell from the venue or invitation what's expected of me to wear. And some guests appreciate the guidance when thinking of what to wear! I tend to overthink what to wear to events, so I live for dress codes lol!

My husband and I knew several guests would wear jeans if we didn't specify, and we personally didn't want jeans worn at our wedding, so we included a dress code on our website. We also live in GA, where the weather can be iffy, so we suggested guests dress in layers since our wedding was in Jan. and we had the ceremony outside.

I have a dress code on my website in hopes of clarifying the "what to wear" question (mainly women worry about that anyway) Since our venue is a "yacht club", I am ...... concerned? ... that our guests will feel they need to get dressed up in formal attire when a simple dress or casual pants/top will do. Same with the guys - our groomsmen aren't wearing tuxes, so there is absolutely no need for suit jackets on our guests. I WOULD feel a bit insulted if someone came in sweatpants, though. Yes, my guests should be comfortable, but I think it a lack of respect to come sloppily dressed to a special event/occasion.

I don't mind dress codes when listed on a details card or invitation. that part is small potatoes. I do have two pet peeves when it comes to listing them.

1. Trying to sound unique with a dress code that no one has heard of that falls under one of the originals standards (business, casual, formal, cocktail, etc). It is even more confusing

2. A dress code that is not appropriate for the type of wedding the couple is hosting. For example (and this has happened) Requesting black tie at an afternoon wedding in a barn where benches were hay bales and lack of restrooms

I didn't want people to wear jeans to my wedding. I didn't get married in a barn. We married in a church with a restaurant reception. Word of mouth and on my website stated specifically "Sunday best, no jeans." People showed up dressed extremely casually in jeans and T Shirts anyway. Was it a huge deal? No. I didn't stress about it. There were a few wardrobe snafus at mine including my MOH not wearing what I approved her to wear. It's what photoshop is for I guess lol.

I personally like having a dress code to go by for most occasions. It helps me feel less out of place.

I find a dress code on an invite extremely helpful. When my coworker got married last summer, that was listed on their invite and on the website and it was super helpful since the venue (an upscale hotel) could have easily been a very casual vibe, or a black tie vibe.

Personally, I'm putting it on our invites. I don't see it so much as a "you must wear x" as it is a guideline to help people when trying to decide what they are going to wear. If nothing else, it gives people buzzwords to google if they are trying to figure it out.

Etiquette is great and certainly a good starting point, but I feel like it tends to be far too rigid and doesn't adjust to the situation or honestly, the times. For me, I tend to stress about what to wear to an event, so having a guideline as to what the vibe is, is super helpful.

I appreciate it when the information is passed through word of mouth or on the website - especially if there's grass or I need to have my shoulders covered for a church service, that sort of thing. I don't find it necessary to put on the invitation, but I'm not taken aback by it.

It is common and expected that a dress code will be given here in Australia. To be honest, I think here it's generally understood that the code is not to dictate, but to help. I attended a wedding that involved glamping, on a rural farming property that was 3-4 hours outside Brisbane. It was in a beautiful marquee, and a dress code was provided so that you knew that even though it was in a field, they were still making an effort to dress up - and everyone looked so nice! plus it was helpful to know to wear wedges or block heels due to the nature of the venue. It was nice to see everyone dressed up and the dichotomy of the venue vs the formality looked amazing. As a guest I didn't feel like a prop at all, we had an amazing time and no one I spoke to mentioned feeling that way about being provided a dress code.

I also think it's important to note that generally speaking, Australians are VERY much more casual in their dress than Europe or America. They would think nothing of wearing jeans to the opera, and I have seen people turn up for a wedding in 3/4 length jorts, for example. There are exceptions, because we are very culturally diverse here and weddings for certain ethnicities are VERY much more dressy than a typical, white, third generation white Australian wedding, and again - having a dress code provided is super helpful so you don't turn up totally underdressed.

So here, the code is generally understood to basically be in place to make life easier for the relatives of that one person who thinks cargo shorts are appropriate, not to insist that someone wear a tux or a bowtie as opposed to a lounge suit, if that makes sense?

And anyone who is likely to ask if something is appropriate... is unlikely to be wearing the wrong thing. The code is provided so that one guy who was planning on wearing a Bintang singlet can more easily be told by his wife, his nephew, his relative or whatever that he can't do that - because they can just say "didn't you see the dress code?"