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Chrysta
Master November 2022

Theme/vibe vs venue

Chrysta, on October 20, 2020 at 12:30 PM Posted in Style and Décor 0 25
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How many of you based the theme/colors/vibe of your wedding on the venue? Did you choose the venue first, then choose colors, etc. that went with it? Or did you already have your colors, theme, etc. picked out first, then chose a venue that would support it? Did any of you change your mind after picking the venue?
I am having a conundrum. Originally, I planned to have an incredibly low-key wedding and had the colors/vibe all picked out. We chose a venue and it fit the original vision perfectly. Many months later, while we were looking for invitations and talking about the wedding, we decided it would be really cool to have a theme that was meaningful to us, both together as a couple and separately. We were both super excited about it, and I proceeded to purchase all the decor to support that theme. Now that our wedding has been postponed another year, I have had time to rethink things & I am second guessing the decision to have a theme. Although I love the theme (both aesthetically and the meaningfulness), I am realizing that it is going to be a lot of work. We are having a destination wedding, which means I am going to have to either ship everything to our location ($800+ to ship!), or have our guests that are driving take everything down for us. There are at least 4 huge storage totes full of stuff, plus a few additional boxes, so it’s A LOT of stuff to lug around, and will likely take a ton of time to set up, which I am realizing now probably isn’t what I want to be doing the day of my wedding. Also, it hit me last night when I was looking at pictures of the reception space... we chose that space with our original vision in mind. Now that we have changed that vision, it feels like the decor is going to be fighting the aesthetic of the room. After laying awake thinking about it last night, I am beginning to feel as if we should just go back to our original, low-key vision. I still absolutely love our original plan and it fits the venue perfectly! The only reason we changed it is because we liked the personal meaning behind the new theme. But now I am thinking it’s not really worth all the time, money, stress and hassle.

25 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on November 12, 2020 at 8:49 AM
  • Belle
    VIP August 1997
    Belle ·
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    Are you talking about the Beauty and the Beast themed wedding? It’s beautiful but I agree, it’s a lot of work. A lot. I decided to have a “normal” intimate wedding. We had our wayyyy over due “engagement” / save the date pictures taken in Beauty and the Beast theme which was a breeze because we had the time and the location was just home and the park at the end of our block.
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  • Shelly
    Devoted January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    I had a totally different color scheme in my head before picking a venue. I originally wanted dusty/moody blues and a stormy scheme, but changed my mind after we toured our venue. Now it's going to be light, simple, and airy to compliment it. If you don't want the added stress of trying to figure out how to get the themed décor to the venue, and are having all of these second thoughts, then go with your original plan! It sounds like you love that original idea just as much as the themed wedding, so you really can't go wrong reverting back to your og plan.

    One thing to think about when switching is: will you be able to return all the supplies you bought for the themed wedding? Or will it just be money lost?

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    No, we were not doing the Beauty and the Beast theme. We are doing a celestial theme. Our venue just doesn’t have that vibe though. The color palette for the celestial theme is very cool toned & more modern/futuristic; whereas the venue is warm toned and has a more old world New Orleans vibe. I just feel like the two would be fighting each other. And in order to really make it fit, it would take a ton of work and decor... and I’m still not sure it would really “fit” then either.
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  • Belle
    VIP August 1997
    Belle ·
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    If you change it to a more fitting theme to your venue, could you still return your stuff or make an exchange? That’s the only concern.
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  • Annika
    Expert November 2020
    Annika ·
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    I had picked the colors I wanted before I even got engaged lmao so I did look for a venue that matched that theme. Our venue matches it perfectly! I won't say I have re-thought our vision over and over thinking of other fun themes but something that was super important to me was that our wedding pictures can be up all year round and not clash with other holidays or seasons. So while a Halloween wedding sounds SO FUN and my FH and I would have a blast, I wouldn't want to look at orange and black wedding photos on the wall during say, Christmas or springtime. If that makes any sense haha!

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    We picked our venue which is very rustic. Then picked our colors. We originally decided on doing rustic theme because it fits our personality and venue. But the colors we chose were very tropical, so then when I was looking for rustic decor in the colors we chose I realized it would be impossible to make a lime green and bright pink rustic. I ended up finding these really cool tropical theme light up wine bottles, so I bought about 20 of them and we decided to switch the theme to tropical. Then after 2 months of planning a tropical wedding his mom came to me and mentioned how the tropical theme would be tough because it would feel more like a kids birthday party than a wedding, with the rustic decor fighting with the tropical theme of the wedding. So then we went back to rustic but we changed the colors up a bit. Now we are doing mint greens, peachy pinks, white, and reds for our colors.
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    See, the way you did it makes more sense to me- choose a look that complements the venue, rather than fights against it. Unfortunately, I would not be able to return any of the items I have purchased. We could still use the same tablecloths, napkins and chargers. The floral arrangements would need some tweaking, but they would essentially stay the same as well. Our cake would have to be completely redesigned (right now it is an uber celestial themed cake), but that shouldn’t be difficult. Our cake lady has been amazing. And actually, switching to our original vision of a cake would probably be a lot cheaper than the one we are currently planning on having! The rest of the reception decor (aside from some candles) could not be used though. Luckily, everything was celestial themed, so I could use some of it as decor in my home. And I could probably give away a lot of it to friends also.
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  • Shelly
    Devoted January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    I am very indecisive, so my FH knew I would change the color scheme as soon as I saw our venue in person haha! But it sounds like a good bit of what you've already bought can be used, and if switching the cake up will cost less, that's more of a win there! The rest of it looks like you can still use them or gift them, so it wouldn't be a total waste of money!

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Wow, I had never even thought of that before! That is a very good point. Although we could probably keep pictures up all year with the current theme, the original vision would definitely look better all year long & would fit the vibe of our home decor a lot better. Thanks for that pointer!
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Unfortunately, I could not return or exchange any of the items I have purchased. I can, however, use the same tablecloths, napkins, chargers, and some of the candles I’ve purchased. Also, it wouldn’t require me to purchase any additional items. I would just be sitting on a bunch of additional stuff I didn’t need.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    You could use the themed decorations for a bridal shower or another party (wedding-related or not) sometime before your wedding! That way, you still get the theme and can use the items, but don't have to transport them to your venue.
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  • Annika
    Expert November 2020
    Annika ·
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    No problem! Glad I could help! Smiley smile

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  • Shelly
    Devoted January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    I second Lisa's idea! Good call!

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    This would be an awesome idea! However, I will not be having any pre-wedding parties. That’s OK though, I’m not really concerned about money or decorations going to waste. I figure, the money is already spent 🤷🏼‍♀️ And a lot of the decor can be used in our home or our friends’ home. And I could always donate what we don’t use. My main concern is just figuring out which direction we should go in terms of decorating. After reading everybody’s comments so far, I am thinking just going back to our original low-key plan is probably a better idea- both logistically and aesthetically. I just wanted to be sure about my decision before bringing this up to my fiancé
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  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
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    I had everything picked out and them found a venue to match. I think your theme would look awesome at your venue! Here is a video that I think will help you visualize how awesome it will look!


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  • Marissa
    Expert October 2020
    Marissa ·
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    At first I knew I wanted some type of pretty outdoor garden theme/venue, but I knew to wait on deciding on decor before we booked our venue just in case. Eventually the venue we chose ended up being rustic, as in cabin out-doorsy rustic, with pretty gardens on the site. And we fell in love with the place! Then I decided on my decor and ended up with fall warm tones with pops of steel blues and golds. I also kept checking my pinterest board when I went out shopping just so I stayed on track with my vision!

    I absolutely love your celestial theme idea, but after reading your comments above I think you should go back to your original plan. I think it will be less stressful on you and your FH and just keeping it simple is all you need. Just the destination alone adds on to the decor! Maybe you can keep your celestial decor for future anniversary parties, or like you said, just use it for decor in your home. Maybe even resell some if you're not going to use it at all.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I didn't! i always knew i wanted the specific colors i chose because i just loved them together - mint and blush pink and i knew i wanted an outdoor ceremony in the spring or early summer so it just worked out altogether.

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Thank you for sharing! This video perfectly captured the feel of our venue! After watching it, I am rather confident I am going to change my theme. Where it looks like it can definitely be pulled off in the venue we have, this video made me realize how much work it is going to take to do it! I think the hanging stars and twinkle lights were what really created the celestial vibe, and doing that at our venue is not allowed (and even if it were, it would take a ton of time and people to do it). They also had an enormous celestial backdrop for their ceremony and a large stand up moon display for pictures. All of these things would again take a ton of money, time, and additional vendors to pull off. Although I do believe it is possible to successfully execute the theme at our venue, I don’t think it’s advisable in my position. If we were having a local wedding, I would be completely down to do it! I just don’t think it wise to attempt with a destination wedding. I’m thinking I will return to my original vision but still incorporate a few little celestial details as a nod to the meaningfulness for my fiancé and I. I am so glad you shared this video! It really put things into perspective for me. Thank you! 💕
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    I agree! I think I am going to just return to our original vision and incorporate just a few little celestial details here & there, instead of trying to do a full-on celestial theme
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  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
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    You're welcome! I understand what you mean. Your wedding will still be beautiful!

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