The photos we didn’t get

I feel the same way, I love all of my photos but I feel like we are missing some. Especially some of just me in my dress. I am actually having a friend who dabbles in photography take some photos for us! We’re going to get all dressed up and take some pictures. I feel like they will be a lot more relaxed also.

I saw some of the photos you got and they are one in a million shots. They look great. Maybe just getting your thoughts out here may help. Have you put your favourite photo in a frame or canvas? Could help you refocus to the photos that you loved and give you something to be excited with again?

View Quoted Comment I like this idea. Sometimes taking newer photos give an opportunity to get what you want from them.

View Quoted Comment I was thinking about doing that but I already cut 8 inches off my hair so not really an option, and then I’m just beating myself up more for that 😖

View Quoted Comment I was thinking about doing that but I already cut 8 inches off my hair so not really an option, and then I’m just beating myself up more for that 😖

View Quoted Comment That’s a good idea. I do really love our photos, realistically I think I’d probably be feeling like this no matter what :/ I think it’s just trouble letting go of the fact that it’s actually over and not redoable

I have also seen people do 1 year anniversary photos where they get dresses back up and hire a photographer. That gives you some time to grow back some of your hair length also!

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I agree with you that feeling like there were "missed shots" is pretty much a given and that you might have a little bit of "post-wedding blues." Daughter experienced both (and she received 1100+ edited shots, taken over almost 12 hours, so it's kind of hard to imagine what else the photographer could have done, but there were some specific pictures they didn't get...). She gave herself a little time to "grieve" that their fabulous wedding was over, and then started focusing on the next thing. For them, it's an upcoming cross-country move/job changes (so, that's a biggie). But, if it hadn't been that, they were going to start planning a dream honeymoon for their first anniversary (they just did a minimoon following the wedding). She also got right to work on their photo album. I guess my best advice is to give yourself a little time to come to terms with the fact that the wedding is behind you and then find something new to look forward to/focus on. Good luck to you!

PS -- I KNOW you know it, but based on the photos you posted, what you have is incredible....

One more thing, I think designing her album also helped because even when she expanded it to the max number of pages (I think 150... ), it was REALLY hard to narrow down all the photos they had to choose from. I think it helped her realize that no matter how many she had, they were REALLY more than what she is going to reasonably look at, unless she goes through the entire gallery.

I have the same type of feeling. There were family pics I didn't get, some poses with my bridesmaids I didn't get and poses with my husband I didn't get. But I just focus on the wonderful shots we did get despite being pressed on time

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I appreciate that. It is comforting to know that other people feel this way. I always read posts where people said things like this and couldn’t imagine how you could possibly have 1100 photos (and gorgeous ones) and still feel like you’re missing some but..... here I am lol. I definitely think I’m just fixating on something because I don’t want to let go... never thought I’d feel like THAT either :/

I did work on our photo album this weekend! It actually made me so happy while doing it, but I’m wondering if having gone through all the photos so thoroughly for that may have actually brought this on. Maybe I will feel better once we actually get the album and I can look through it and see how beautiful everything is.

You are so right I need to find a new project! I’m so stumped on that though... we did our honeymoon already and can’t afford another big trip for a while. We have some smaller things planned (we have a baby shower to go to about 4 hours away this weekend and we’re making a weekend trip of it) but I’m not sure those are enough.

It’s very strange because I feel like building up to the wedding I spent so much time thinking about it and always wondered what I’d think about when it was over... and the answer is, still the wedding. But now instead of fixating on things to prepare, I’m fixating on things that have already happened so it’s very frustrating and unproductive. Sorry this turned into a huge rant lol.

I think ‘what would i have actually done with those photos’

if the answer is ‘put them in an album/book’ then i try to get over it.

Ugh. I knoooow. Even with 1000+ photos, I OCD’d on several key pics we missed for weeeeks. I might have even cried once. But I had to constantly remind myself of the ones we *did* get: several amazing ones of me & hubby, me & my dad, entire fun group pics, etc. Of course, the most important ones are of us. Did I get at least a few I love for our album & wall canvas? Yes. Then the end of the day, it’s all good. ♥️

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You're right, I'm so frustrated with myself mostly honestly because I feel like I'm being so ungrateful for what we did get... and we got SO many lovely photos. Of course it's literally impossible to get EVERYTHING you could want, especially with the chaos of the day. Truly the only way to have been sure we had gotten everything was if I was more shot-list-focused on the wedding day, which I wouldn't have wanted to be either (I am glad that I was able to be so present and honestly not thinking very much about photos on the day-of!) I know I'm just using this as something to fixate on. Wish I could push it out of my brain. But it is very comforting to know I'm not alone in this because it really reaffirms that I would've felt like this no matter what... hopefully I'll be able to let it go soon.

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I think it's normal to obsess. I mean, when else do we plan for 12+ months on a one-day party that costs a ton of $$$$$ and represents so many emotions???? Of course we want a photo of every dang minute. lol. And a "shot list" might not have helped. We gave a list to ours... they nailed some of what we wanted, captured some things that amazed us and we didn't ask for, but missed a few. I try to just focus on the photos we did get, especially the fact while waiting for them I was worried I wouldn't like any of us together and there are a few that truly make my heart melt.

View Quoted Comment You’re right, thank you so much ❤️ I’m feeling a bit better already. Hopefully this feeling won’t linger too long.

I know this article is nearly 2 years old. But I still occasionally obsess about the same thing.
Like where was my brain that day? I don’t have an individual photo of just me and my sister (MOH) and that kills me (and she’s beyond hurt about it too) I don’t have any front portraits of myself, no individual photos of me and my bridesmaids - which I probably should have spoken up about. I also don’t have photos of our rings, invites or the custom ring box/tree stump I bought. I swore I brought al of those things with me and gave them to the photographer in a bag.
Funny thing is there’s pictures where you see the bag sitting there lolNot to mention the shot of my dad and I walking down was blocked by a guest, and I don’t understand how tHe photographer didn’t move inward to avoid her or simply tap her to say “excuse me , have to get this”.I cry every time I look at those. We actually had the same photographer (Cherryville) and she took amazing shots and many of which I amBeyond grateful for but I do think there were many photos that should have been taken.I guess I never specified and again my brain was not in my head that day ( I was so overwhelmed and nervous) I had planned the day for months and then when it was all over (and too this day) I’m like where the heck was my mind!Wish I could go back and just get those few vital shots
We haven’t even put our album together and we paid for it at time of booking lol I just get so worked up about what wasn’t captured or beat myself up over my appearance to the point that I can’t make a decision. It’s ridiculous and I feel insane about it.It was nice to see this and not feel alone. I think I can move on now and get those 40 pictures picked and the album completed.

I'm a photographer. I love pictures. I was so excited to have some good photos of my husband and I (and our pup) on our wedding day because I feel like I don't have enough. We ended up having a Covid elopement and what would have been 6+ hours of photos capturing the special day we got married was less than 90 minutes. There were a lot of photos we didn't get - none of us as a couple with our parents, for example, and the only photo I have of my husband with his parents are ones where his mom looks so unhappy (she was very worried about Covid so standing next to her son wasn't a comfortable moment for her). We are having a wedding celebration this year and I'm really hoping we get to make up for some of that. But I'm not sure how emotions will feel on that day because we are already married. My mom has had cancer for over a year now and it's torn at her so the only photos I'll have of us with her will be a stark comparison to how healthy she looked last year. It won't be the same, but it is what it is.

I will say that, in my life, most of the most beautiful and special things I have experienced never make it on film, and there is beauty in that itself. I think our society is even more sucked into social media and Instagram worthy captures of everything that happens that we forget that the moments themselves are what's important. The best stories I have have almost no pictures to go along with them, because they were felt and experienced more than they were just "seen" and there is something to be said for that. You have so many beautiful photos from your wedding, and I'm almost certain some of the best moments of that day didn't make it on film and instead are captured in the hearts and memories of you and the people you love. That's more important than a picture. You can fake a pretty photo much easier than you can fake a feeling joy, happiness, and love.

Here's an article I wrote about experiencing things without taking photos of them. I'm really proud of the piece and maybe you will find the perspective helpful!

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This is beautiful. I needed to read this. Thank you

View Quoted Comment All I can say is wow, your second paragraph really hit me as I search for a reason, or acknowledgement of my feelings of sadness for not capturing every photo I would’ve loved to at my wedding. The day was such a whirl wind and I was so present in the moment, with my husband and our families. What you wrote makes me feel at peace knowing those precious moments live on in the hearts and memories of us and our loved ones. Thank you❤️

As a recent bride going through this I am SO grateful to have found this thread ❤️ If anyone sees this now - does anyone still feel this way? Or does time heal?