The money thing

My fiance and I are paying for it all so we are not annoyed by this. We annoy both sets of parents everytime they try to push for things and people we don't want to do/to invite. And we are paying for it ourselves because we know how they are, they would act like yours. My parents offered to pay and we said no, they offered to contribute: still NO, then offered to pay for 1 or 2 things: still NO. So we can plan the wedding WE want and invite who we want. We are still inviting some of their friends but only those that met the 2 of us BEFORE we got engaged. Had they paid or contributed financially, they would have added 20-30 friends, coworkers,neighbors we've never met. Not going to happen, not even in a billion years.

We are paying ourselves so we don’t have to worry about this! I knew I would feel obligated to include our parents in decision making if they had contribute financially, and I just didn’t want to deal with that headache at all.

Unfortunately, what you're experiencing always happens when parents are paying or contributing for the majority. And they'll get the final say on the guest list, their friends will come before yours if there's not enough room for everyone etc... Because things have been done that way for decades.

Because you can't go back in time, just take a breath and remember the bigger picture; you're marrying the love of your life and that's what matters the most.

Yes I get reminded every time I read off a credit card number for another deposit 🤣😂🤣😂 enjoy someone else paying for it- just smile and know you won’t be upset spending thousands of dollars you don’t have.

View Quoted Comment Right lol I don’t think I’d get tired of hearing it. It’s more tiring actually paying for it.

Everyone else is saying this but god yeah, the whole first 18 years of my life was about how my dad paying so much for everything meant I should do everything to his standards all the time, and my fiancées mom basically wants to plan a party with all HER friends and everyone has a lot of opinions on where and when and blah blah….


We’re budgeting a smaller wedding, shamelessly telling everyone that it’s a limited cash bar and that uninvited plus ones have to pay for their plates, etc etc. even for cash gifts we’re stating that all monetary wedding gifts are going to our honeymoon. It’s so much less stressful that way!
(My mom is super chill and down for everything I want to do, she’s basically my delegate planner for day of and she’s doing my cake and flowers!)

Exactly why we are paying for it all. But now I’m continually reminded about how much money we are spending. Lose lose situation it feels like sometimes. However at least by paying for it we have ownership in decision making so it’s worth it.

The best way to avoid this is to fund it yourself. Unfortunately, even with parents, most people think they have some kind of stake in the choices and final outcomes if they've agreed to contribute money.

My parents have paid for pretty much every vendor at this point, with no strings, nothing hanging over our heads, they've been great.

FH's parents haven't given us anything, we asked if we could have $2500 to cover transportation (which they said yes to) and have also offered for them to host the rehearsal dinner if they'd like to. We've been engaged over a year, weddings in 101 days, and we haven't seen a dime from them, BUT every time I tell them I'm not adding another random cousin to the guest list, or that I'm doing something they don't like, they state "we're helping pay so we should have a say" THAT'S getting annoying, they're trying to have control when they don't have a leg to stand on.

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My parents were the same way when I was growing up. My personal favorite was "we're paying for your phone, so we should get to read your texts and go through anything we want." Gotta love parents who have no respect for privacy, don't care about being overbearing/ overstepping, and don't think their kids can think for themselves 🙄

Even though we're paying for our wedding without parental help (for exactly that reason), my mom still loves to tell me how I'm spending "way too much for just one day," I'm planning a wedding that's "way too extravagant", and that nobody is going to show up. Meanwhile, one of her coworkers' kids got married recently and they paid WAY more than we are despite the cost of living being way lower where the coworkers' kid held their wedding. Couldn't be that I actually know what I'm doing though 🙄

All that ranting to say, parents are always going to find a way to get under your skin, so just do the best you can to tune it out and enjoy the process and your big day.

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Due to my disability, I'm dyslexic in math so when it comes to money which my mom and fiancee handle let me say they don't trust me with their debit cards because I have a habit of spending on stuff I don't need. Anyways so my parents are in charge with paying for everything.

View Quoted Comment Right!?!? Just cos he’s paying half my FH thinks he gets to have a say on things 🤣😂🤣😂

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I just laughed so hard i spit out soda relating to this!

I wish I could complain about not being responsible for thousands of dollars…. Consider yourself lucky