Surprise performance for the groom

Not to rain on your parade but I’d honestly reconsider. With a captive audience who are only there to see you marry and celebrate, I don’t know that this will be something everyone will enjoy or appreciate, especially as you don’t seem to have any special talent in mind.


I have to be honest. At the very few weddings I’ve been to where something like this was done it was either boring to sit through or cringeworthy. If people want a performance they’ll buy tickets.

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I think in our minds this is more like a surprise performace for each other rather than for the audience. But I do see your point! Geniunelly, I am not a huge fan of those either, but my fiance really wants to do it. We are having a Christmas wedding, so I was thinking about doing something with the song "Mistletoe" by Justin Bieber, but I wasn't sure if that will turn out a bit boring, that's why I'm trying to seek some other ideas.

I think, unless either of you is known for a special talent, such as playing an instrument or singing, it is better to just be honest with him and say that maybe this isn’t the trend to jump onto. When it’s performed in front of an entire audience, the performance isn’t just for you. It’s for everyone watching.

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I completely agree with Hannah. And tbh, this was a trend that peaks YEARS ago, and is kind of out of vogue now. Unless one of you is a professional dancer or musician, I would just skip it entirely. Plus, the appeal of those surprise performances is the fact they were a surprise; which yours obviously wouldn't be if you both know about it.

If your fiance is absolutely adamant about wanting to do a performance, then let him. There's no need for both of you to do it though - that starts to feel like a high school talent show.

View Quoted Comment If it’s meant as a performance for each other, maybe it’s something you could do privately before the wedding, like as a type of first look. I agree with the PPs that these things get very cringeworthy when performed to a captive audience.

I would first start with thinking about any talents that you have that are appealing both to each of you and to a captive audience (dancing, singing, playing an instrument, spoken word poems, etc.). There's also the option to kind of amp up any normally planned events. For example, having a choreographed father/daughter or mother/son dance, a choreographed garter toss (if you plan to do that), etc. There's even the option to do things other than a performance that you can surprise each other with, like a surprise painting that is displayed if you're artistic or a surprise outfit/hair change, or a surprise entertainment element that may not include you (ex. Surprise band performance, surprise song that is played, surprise photo slide show, a live painter, dancers from your culture, etc.)

Is this cultural or something you came across on YouTube that looked fun? If you belong to a culture that expects dancing performances at weddings. But if you don’t and these are foreign to your guests, they will be uncomfortable to watch. In that case, save it for the honeymoon.