Surgery in 4 Days

I was torn between "health and fitness" and "community conversations" so I went with the earlier.
I'd like to preface this post with a reminder to be respectful to others. I ask that if you have nothing nice to say to please move on without contributing but this is a public forum and anyone is welcome to respectfully voice their opinion and I cannot stop them.

I have surgery on Monday and I'm... All other the place emotionally lol. For starters: this is an optional plastic surgery. It's a very personal, private choice but the truth is that once it's done it isn't so private anymore- people are going to notice. I will share with all of you: it's a breast augmentation. I will be going up abut 2 cup sizes in the process. I'd like to think most people will notice /something/ is different but not be sure what it is- maybe think perhaps I've just lost weight (as this does tend to give to appearance of doing.) However, there's a good chance they'll see exactly what's different.

That part makes me feel awkward and embarrassed in regards to work (I work with kids/teenagers.) It doesn't change who I am as a person but I feel odd about it. I haven't told anyone at work (doing this on my vacation time) and I don't feel like I need to.. but they're going to notice so I feel like I should? But again- I feel like this is a private and personal choice that I shouldn't have to warn people about.. It's making me feel frustrated trying to decide what to do and feel super awkward and embarrassed for when they inevitably find out (whether from me telling them or me coming back into work.)
Same thing with my grandparents...

I am struggling with my severe phobias/fears regarding surgery: waking up mid surgery (though I am mostly recovered from this), old anesthesia making my body sleep but not my mind so I'm mentally awake my whole surgery, and never waking up from surgery (my biggest fear, this is extremely, extremely rare but does happen. No one knows why, science has no explanation) I'm terrified I'll accidentally mess up my surgery (cause things to shift/settle wrong, etc.) I'm also really scared of any of the other minor possibilities that can happen. I'm really scared I'm going to hate the work and as a result hate my body and lose my mind.
I know this is long and I apologize, I am partially just venting just to get this out of my system..
Also, if this seems like a lot/weird it can be attributed to my anxiety condition. It makes me far more anxious and anxious about extremely odd/rare stuff lol..

I'm a teensy bit nervous about my wedding dress (already purchased) fitting still, too lol. However, they say they can let out a dress 2 sizes and (as mentioned above) my breasts are small for my frame so there was quite a bit of extra room in there to begin with! It's the least of my worries. I'm sure it will be fine, just a small work lol.

HOWEVER, before anyone asks what I'm doing this for if I'm so scared lol: for as terrified and worried as I am about everything listed (and more) it just goes to show how badly I want this done if I'm still wanting to go through with this after all is said and done. Even though I'm so anxious, scared, and nervous, I'm also really excited and hopeful. I'm tired of feeling so unhappy when I see my naked body because I have the breasts of a woman half my weight who's breastfed 3 kids when I have 0! I'm tired of clothing I was excited about instead making me feel terrible and upset when I put it on. I'm tired of struggling with this body image issue every. Single. Day. I've had over 10 good years of thinking about this and of being unhappy. I'm so excited to put on the clothing that I was excited about until I saw my breasts in it. I'm excited to want to dress up.

Please don't suggest I need therapy to love my body or whatever. If I said I was unhappy with my weight people would suggest I work out and diet (and maybe also get therapy but not just therapy alone.) This is not different (to me.) For those who would suggest both: I am in therapy and have been for years. I have overcome a lot of body and self confidence issues.

For those who managed to read it all: thank you. I really just needed a safe place to vent when I'm not really telling many people anything yet. I dont know if anyone will read this but I have so many, many emotions right now!