Small Wedding Problem: Guest List Dilemma

This was a HUGE problem for us. If we had invited everyone we would have been well over 200 people. We initially tried to keep it under 100, but when we found our perfect venue we had to cut it to just under 50. It was really hard deciding who we just could not fit in but we spoke to our friends to let them know that while we love them, we just couldn't fit everyone at the venue. I have 2 families that I have been VERY close with for several years, but with each family consisting of at least 12 people, we had to make the difficult decision to not invite any of them. Every single person understood. I think people close to you will get it but I sometimes still feel guilty so I don't know if that ever goes away.

We had a DW micro wedding (15) then a small local reception (50). I get it! I had heartburn not inviting one friend to the DW but she was part of a group of 3 other friends—I’m still relieved I didn’t invite her because it might have caused problems in that group (I love that group but couldn’t invite all). I did invite another couple who is part of a different friend group but I’m not as close to the other people in that group so if there was trouble (there wasn’t) it would have been fine. My hubby & I definitely wanted the fun couple there.


Does that help?

We had to cut our list as well. We are limiting it to family and I have an out of town friend who I definitely want there and I’m inviting a friend who went dress shopping with me. My last friend basically invited herself because she said she has been there the whole time. (Our relationship drama) 🤣😂😅

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200 to 50! That's amazing. I don't know if I could do it. Thank you- this really helps

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Thank you for this! I feel that struggle with guest list politics for sure. This certainly helps and I'll keep this in mind

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Oh jeez lol! That's too funny. Hopefully it wasn't stressful!

We were estimating around 100-104 people and the total guest was 104. Stick to your guns and don't budge it's your day.

View Quoted Comment You’re welcome. Doing a little “risk assessment” helps! 🧐 And unless “friend critical” I’d skip inviting any co-workers to prevent any hurt feelings, gossip or other issues at work. Not worth it. You can tell the few co-workers who ask to be invited that you just don’t feel it’s fair and so t want to risk hurt feelings.

We are older so we have tons of friends in our lives. We decided to cut to 60 and we just thought about the people we talk about regularly. Although I’m very close to my family, my aunts and uncles and getting older and I have so many 1st cousins/spouses we would only be able to invite family. So we opted for very immediate family and then friends. Mostly couples that have special importance in our lives. It was hard but we are happy and confident with our decision.

We just picked who HAD to be there. We also thought about all the people that might be hurt but we learned that we cannot accommodate everyone. We have these really amazing group of friends in town but after looking at their numbers, and their kids, and their kids fiances...we instantly shot down the idea. What was maybe 6 people, turned into twenty and I am sure the list could have kept growing. We told ourselves that we would have to be okay with this decision and people would learn to be okay with it.