Should i change our decor in secret?

I'd drop it. It's really awesome that he has an opinion and is working on it with you! Think of it as practice for all of the wonderful compromises you'll be making for the rest of your marriage! 🥰

Personally, I agree with your fiance. I also don't think you should do something like that in secret. Marriage is about honesty so keeping something like that a secret isn't a good way to start a marriage.

View Quoted Comment That make sense. Sometimes my feminism kicks in like “why is it always the woman who compromises” but then again it’s my time of the month lol

View Quoted Comment I agree marriage is about honesty. Ladies how did you find a way to personalize your wedding. I feel like I’m having an identity struggle. From the design, to the dress, to the venue, to the 50 of my family to the 100 of his. Nothing is me.

View Quoted Comment Preaching to the choir on that last part. But he might have also compromised, you know? Like, maybe he wanted a different venue or colors or something? I wouldn't especially you would be adding something that you asked him about and he didn't like. Rather than just a last minute choice, you know?

Drop it..it’s his wedding too

I understand what you mean. Our colors are black, gold, and plum. I did not want purple or plum AT ALL, but he loved the black and purple attire. It's a bummer because I don't like any of the decor now and I'm struggling to match my flowers to his tie. I realized that I want him to love his attire as much as I love my dress, so I never said anything about not liking the colors. Honestly, I'd ask him to compromise and do a few feathers in a few spots.

View Quoted Comment Hmm. Maybe it’s me who need to work on my voice being heard. He chose the venue, the colors, decorations. I was being dramatic about secretly adding it. But thats true I wouldn’t like it he added something when I didn’t like it.

It may backfire if you just try and use the design he doesn’t like, as he will know he said he didn’t like it and will be upset that you blatantly ignored his opinion. Maybe your designer can come up with another design with the feathers if you like them that much as another option.

View Quoted Comment Lol that’s the problem it’s HIS wedding. Lol my family/friends make up 50 and his make up 120. It’s his colors, venue, decor, catering. I think the feather was just my breaking point lol (it’s my time of the month lol) but I have decided to drop it.

View Quoted Comment Lol girl you sound like me. He chose his colors bc that’s what he looks good in. I have decided to drop the feathers. And will find another way to add my personal touch.

This wedding should be a we thing! I would talk to him about how you feel that this day doesnt have any of your personal touches that you would love to see. Hopefully he will hear you out on this and meet you halfway. You deserve to have your dream wedding as well girl! Good luck

View Quoted Comment Aww thank you for such nice words. I will definitely be looking up way to add on my personal touches! I’m sure he would I just gotta start speaking up more opposed to go along with everything to make him happy

I agree wholeheartedly with Amy. It sounds like you've had to give up a lot in favor of what he wants.

I would drop it on this one and make sure you talk to him about some of the things that are important to you. It’s all about compromises and making sure you are both happy. Good luck.

View Quoted Comment It's funny because of this post I just looked at him and said "I hate the plum color in the wedding". He laughed and said "babe, I can get a different color". I'm not going to let him give up what he loves, I'm basically just going to incorporate just enough purple to match him to the wedding, then the rest will be black, pink/blush, and gold. He also gave me a thumbs up on increasing the flower budget so I can match stuff better. I think sometimes we get so carried away making our men happy we just forget our own feelings on stuff. I didn't even realize I hated the plum until way later. I'm sure your guy doesn't even realize that you've done the same thing.

Feathers be way too much. Definitely listen to your FH n be thankful he's wanting to be so involved 😁

I personally wouldn’t do the feathers

View Quoted Comment Lol thank you! For your kind words! Lol I agree I get so caught up trying to make him happy and being the best wife that I’m left feeling down on things. I was able to open up with him about it you’re right he didn’t realize it. He said we could do some table with feather maybe a little less extreme lol

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I was having a hard time figuring out when I, the bride, could be involved in wedding planning lol. It’s been the opposite lately. Can you imagine your husband planning your whole wedding. Crazy right? Lol