Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Savvy August 2021

Sent std already - must i invite if we’re no longer friends?

Marie, on May 24, 2021 at 4:28 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi everyone!
I my BFF since high school and I had a fight in January. I still sent him, his husband and their roommate Save The Dates back in March even though our talking was strained. Also sent 2 mutual friends who live nearby but haven’t talked to them since this happened either. I know them through him. Covid didn’t help and was sort of an excuse not to see each other.

Long story short we haven’t talked since April and he’s blocked me on social media (and we’re 36… apparently drama doesn’t age). We never had a full conversation about all that was wrong, just stopped talking on both sides. When I finally was ready to confront him about the issues he said “no thanks.” I haven’t texted or called since April so don’t know if he blocked me via phone.
We are both etiquette followers but I fully don’t expect him to come and honestly don’t want him to come bc it will probably turn into something about him. I am sad about our strained relationship but the fight was over how he treats my FH. Former BFF doesn’t see a problem with the rudeness towards my FH and me (to an extent).
Still send Invite?Do I invite the mutual friends who are no longer friends? And the roommate?

Flag
Hide content

10 Comments

Latest activity by Victoria, on May 24, 2021 at 10:42 PM

Devoted June 2021
Emily · on May 24, 2021 at 4:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
This is a very controversial topic, but my answer - no, you do not need to invite them if you no longer even talk. My husband and I went through a similar situation and one of his friends dropped off the face of the earth. He said he wasn’t sending another invitation (postponed 3 times due to covid) and I’m standing by him on it.
- Reply
Super July 2020
Cool · on May 24, 2021 at 4:37 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think it’s fine to not invite him, but you should let him know. Even if it’s a text heads up “hey it’s been 1.5 years since we spoke and I wanted to let you know we’ve decided to downsize our wedding” whatever it may be - he is expecting an invite. It’s awkward but I’d just have the convo with him. If nothing negative has happened with the mural friends they should be invited or informed as well.
- Reply
Savvy August 2021
Marie · on May 24, 2021 at 4:38 PM
Flag

Hide content
Thanks Emily. Honestly I saw our friendship crumbling a long time ago. I’ve lived out of state for 7 years and we kept in touch. He never came to visit me but I came back a lot to visit family and would often stay with him. I just moved back (bought a house about 10 mins away from him) and then the rudeness became every 👏🏼 time 👏🏼 we saw him.

Additionally, he started making rude comments / threats about not coming to my wedding starting 3 months after I got engaged. I was perplexed. Maybe he’s upset bc he’s not in the bridal party (siblings only).
We got engaged 2 years ago in July 2019 (also corona bride /postponed a year).
- Reply
Super March 2022
JA · on May 24, 2021 at 4:48 PM
Flag

Hide content
Nope, don't invite anyone you don't genuinely want there. If there is already drama to the point of blocking on social media it is definitely not worth inviting them. If they are that upset they probably threw out the STD already anyway. If you aren't talking then I don't see a need to reach out or anything about the situation. Just take them off the list and leave it at that.
- Reply
VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on May 24, 2021 at 6:10 PM
Flag

Hide content
He is clearly not interested in this friendship and not supportive of the wedding. If you did send him an invite, he would probably toss it in the trash. Definitely do not feel obligated to invite him anymore.
- Reply
Rockstar July 2019
Veronica · on May 24, 2021 at 6:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would say no. My former BFF was supposed to be my MOH, but we had a huge fight so I didn't send her, her boyfriend, or her boyfriend's brother (he was only invited because boyfriend has social anxiety & was throwing a fit because he would be sitting by himself during the ceremony). I also lost my job a few months before my wedding so I didn't send invites to my former coworkers that had received a save the date since I no longer talked to them after losing my job.
- Reply
Expert March 2023
Catherine · on May 24, 2021 at 6:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
I say no, don’t invite. When you went to talk out your issues, he said no, which in my opinion, is him placing a stop on your friendship. So no. I say don’t invite any of them.
- Reply
Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on May 24, 2021 at 7:38 PM
Flag

Hide content
If you are no longer communicating, you are not obligated to invite them.
- Reply
VIP September 2020
Willow · on May 24, 2021 at 8:22 PM
Flag

Hide content
Is he actually blocked you, then don't send the invite. The invite would be disrespecting his clear desire for no contact

As for the other friends, I think an invite is polite
- Reply

Devoted June 2020
Victoria · on May 24, 2021 at 10:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
There’s certainly no need to invite him. You probably don’t have to tell him why- but if you think you need to (and can be simple and civil about it) do so.
For your own sanity, don’t dwell after whatever decision you make, or overthink whatever response you do (or don’t) get from him. You have too much else to do to worry about that.
- Reply

Family & Friends What to Do if Your Friends Don't Like Your Significant Other... If your friends don't like your significant other, you're probably feeling...

25 Fantastic 14th Anniversary Gift Ideas for Your Spouse, Friends or Any Happy Couple — Married Life 25 Fantastic 14th Anniversary Gift Ideas for Your Spouse,... Need a 14th wedding anniversary gift? We’ve rounded up a unique assortment of...

Married Life 6 Second Marriage Secrets to Successful (Re)Marital Bliss Experts share their best advice for navigating a second marriage to ensure a...

Post content has been hidden

Sent std already - must i invite if we’re no longer friends?

10 Comments

Related articles