Rudest things said to bride & groom?!

I got asked a bunch of these haha

Def got the people who referenced getting invited in conversation, and MULTIPLE people, including in the BP, who assumed they got plus ones (they had not, because they had not introduced us to any SOs before joining the BP... and we planned our wedding in about 7 months, so... we consider you our closest friends and we don't know your SO? Uh, no.) ... sometimes like RIGHT before the wedding.

Also got a bunch of people who assumed I'd change my name. Which was really annoying, because: a) I've been vocal about NOT doing that my whole life, b) MIL didn't, and *anyone who knows DH knows that*, c) ...it's 2021, not everyone changes their name.

I can't fathom people asking about when others have kids. So intimate! I will totally ask people what their next PLANS are, and make it clear I'm talking about, travel, or moving, or hiding in a hole because wedding planning was awful.... because that's being a friend. If they want kids, we'll find out!

We actually got the opposite of people asking us when we wanted children because most people knew we wanted to try as soon as we got married so we had people trying to change our minds. I'm currently pregnant and one of the biggest naysayers accidentally got pregnant and she's due seven weeks before me.

View Quoted Comment Ughhhh I feel you on thevlast name. It's annoying how it's STILL assumed

View Quoted Comment May I ask, how long have you and your husband dated before marrying?

View Quoted Comment We got engaged after being together for 2.5 years and married at 3.5 years.

I've been told statements of, "I'm looking forward to getting my invite!" and "Can't wait to attend your wedding!", mostly from people who we really didn't interact with much otherwise and weren't planning to invite. Also had a couple people add a plus one for themselves on their RSVP cards (we postponed after we had already sent out invites), which was frustrating because our guest list would have been extremely limited due to COVID and we didn't really have space for additional plus ones. I also had a couple people question why I'm not taking my fiance's last name. Otherwise, I thankfully haven't gotten too many rude questions!

View Quoted Comment Yes to this one!!! SO awkward! If you’re not our parents or CLEARLY our best friends, please don’t say that you’re looking forward to being invited, I’m begging you. I never know how to react and always just awkwardly laugh!!! Just hoping that since I’m having a longggg engagement by the time we send out invitations those people will have forgotten!

View Quoted Comment It was funny because our best friends were saying things like, "If we are invited...", while people we didn't really know were saying, "Can't wait to attend!" We usually either just didn't respond, or we said something like, "We haven't figured out our guest list yet", or "Since our venue has a small max capacity, we aren't able to invite everyone that we want to." Or, after we sent out invites, we had the excuse of COVID forcing us to limit our guest list (which was 100% true).

We got comments similar to some of these things. Some family members assumed my parents paid for our wedding so when they found out we paid for it, they threw out “good luck paying off the wedding debt” even though all of our budget came from savings. I was married before and so I got “you really want to do it again?” And “you know the divorce rate is higher in second marriages, right?”

View Quoted Comment Yes I agree!! My best friend who I’ve known since I was 5 and is now my MOH kept saying “if I get invited” (before I asked her to be my MOH) and I was like are you crazy?!? But so many random people were like “can’t wait to be there”! And I kept saying to my FH “Well, they’ll be waiting a while!”

Unfortunately, we have had multiple people approach us about being invited to the wedding. All of whom we do not plan to invite, so super awkward! We’ve also fielded the “how soon after the wedding do you want to have kids?” questions. I have to admit, I wasn’t prepared for that one. We haven’t even gotten to the wedding yet and people are already asking about whether we will have children?! And I’ve gotten the “how much did that cost“ from my mother on multiple occasions. That is the question I hate the most.

View Quoted Comment Thankfully, no one has asked me anything about costs! I have heard a lot of people say that they were asked that question. I will never understand why people think it's an appropriate question to ask, especially if they're not involved in paying for any part of the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I agree! My parents are actually paying for most of the wedding. However, there were some things that we wanted to add or upgrade, which we are paying for ourselves. I think she’s secretly trying to find out if my father is paying for these extras, to make sure he isn’t “upstaging” her by contributing more. 🙄

We haven’t had the wedding yet, but I’m surprised at the number of people who keep telling me to just have a pot luck at the park.
It’s not like I’m complaining about the price - we set a budget and our venue is well within the limits.
And they act like that would be easy. It would be so much harder - coordinating who brings what, seating, dishes, drinks..it sounds like a lot more work than with a professional venue!

My sister chose to wait until I was isolated in her vehicle, on the way to my dress fitting, to tell me that I had no business getting married at my age (I was 19.) She kept trying to draw comparisons between us - we had been together for five years by this point - and her first marriage, when she was 18 and got married to someone she'd been dating for four months.

For the record, in the time I've been married to my husband, she's been through six marriages. Definitely the person who had some business telling me not to get married.

I also had a former friend who intentionally would not congratulate or wish us well because she was not invited to my wedding, after she ghosted me for a year and a half.

I have yet to tell anyone about our decision to have a vow renewal, but I am prepared for all kinds of rude comments I'm sure that will bring our way.

View Quoted Comment Ugh at the name change. Soon after I was engaged an acquaintance at work opened up a conversation with "hi Future Mrs. Fiancé's-last-name" and my eyes rolled back so far. So presumptuous and so quick to erase my identity!

View Quoted Comment Wow! 2.5 to 3.5 years is enough time to enjoy each others company before kids. Yeah, that was rude of them to try to convince you to wait to have kids. I was thinking maybe you two only dated for a couple months with fuss like that lol. Regardless, still rude to say anything unless the person knows they'll be directly impacted by the couple's decision

View Quoted Comment Lol if one has to say a comment like that, then they subconsciously know they'll probably not be invited!

View Quoted Comment Yes! Long engagement can be the best