Relations dilemma

I don’t think you’re being demanding or mean. It is very atypical for people other than bridal party and parents of the bride and groom to be involved with wedding stuff beforehand. In all the weddings my husband or I have been apart of where the other person was just a guest, we did whatever and then reconnected with each other after the ceremony. These women can all hang out together if they would like or sleep in and do whatever it is they feel like doing before the wedding. They do not need to be in your bridal suite while you get ready. In fact, more people usually means more chaos.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable. The groomsmen’s SOs can come later or hang out together. Just tell him that you don’t want extra people in the room with you. If he insists they need somewhere, tell him they can hang out with him since he doesn’t think it matters having extra people in there. 😛

View Quoted Comment Lmao that’s exactly what I thought. I told him kindly that I don’t want extra people and he immediately pit his upset face like if I’m too drastic or something. He doesn’t know how this works because he doesn’t like planning this so I have been the one involved with everything about the wedding. How can I get him to educate himself a bit more so he can be on my same page tho ?

View Quoted Comment Thank you Hannah! For sure more people more chaos. Also, did you mother in law got ready with you or thinking to ?

View Quoted Comment She went with us to get her hair and makeup done (we went to the salon because it was only 15 minutes away and they could allocate more stylists to our group versus the team traveling to us) but then she went to the hotel and finished getting ready with my father in law. I believe she may have gone to my husband’s getting ready space at one point too. She was welcome to stay with us the whole time, but she opted not to.

Nope, you are definitely not being unreasonable. The getting ready time is typically reserved for only the bridal party, and it's a way for you to relax before all the commotion of the wedding and reception. There is definitely no need to have the GM's GFs in the room with you. Not only would that defeat the purpose (bonding and relaxing with your bridal party) because it would put the pressure on you to entertain them, it also seems like it would be awkward for the GFs since they have no purpose being there (ie, they aren't having hair & makeup done like everyone else). Is your fiance planning on having all your bridesmaid's significant others in his room while he's getting ready?

Your call. For that matter, common as it has become, there’s no rule you have to provide hair and makeup services or get ready with your bridal party if it was more convenient to be home or go elsewhere. As for the groomsmen’s GFs your FI is really overstepping.

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The men will all learn when the girlfriends reply that the idea is crazy and then go on a tirade of how they imagine their own wedding days in the future, asking when exactly they, themselves will be engaged. Thus, everyone learns pretending before it's time is trouble.

Your prep time is your own to decide, not your FS.

View Quoted Comment I don’t think you have to educate him on anything, just tell him that you each decide who you want with you and you’ve chosen your mom and your bridesmaids. He gets to choose his, you choose yours, and that’s that.

View Quoted Comment Yes Cece apparently he is planning on doing so. And that’s his problem. I already told him I’m not having extra people while getting ready. Even to his mother I told her to come a little later because there’s no need for her to be there since the time I arrive. He sees it at a pre-game or get together I don’t know lol I told him he can invite the GFs to his get ready and he said “ oh I didn’t think of it, maybe it’s a good idea so they can be with their boyfriends/fiances too. Lmao

View Quoted Comment He obviously doesn't realize that it's more than just partying prior to the ceremony especially for women. Unlike him, you, your bridesmaids and your mom will be doing your hair and makeup. And if you are planning on having your photographer take getting ready photos it would look strange for a bunch of random additional people in the background. Also depending on the space you are getting ready there might not be the extra room for others. My husband and his peeps got ready in a hotel room and there definitely wasn't the sauce for extras.

I'm not sure why he thinks these people are entitled to be in the room with you while you're getting ready. That's reserved for people closest to you, not all the women remotely associated with the wedding party. Let him invite the girlfriends to his room.

You are not demanding or mean, it is setting boundaries and it is your wedding day too. Just communicate with him that you know he means well to have his friends involved and not leftout, however, you set that time for your family and closest members first. I think your delivery is important here and also if he cannot respect your wishes as simple as this then you need to rethink his communication skills.

You honestly don't have to accommodate them.. imo they can go get ready somewhere else and let you enjoy your morning/day with your loved ones and the people you choose.