Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

I think if you invite people for a meal, you should pay. It would probably be better to just not do a meal. Or you could just provide snacks.

Nope, it would be rude to have them pay. The rehearsal dinner is to thank your wedding party for taking their time to come and rehearse with you. You should be hosting that. It doesn't have to be fancy, pizza and beer would be good.

If you don't want to pay for a rehearsal dinner then don't have a rehearsal. This is one of the inherent problems with having a large wedding party.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with Jacks. The rehearsal dinner is a thank you to the wedding party for participating in the rehearsal: it would not be appropriate to ask them to pay for their own meal at that event. If you have a rehearsal, you should host a rehearsal dinner. But it doesn't have to be fancy event! Pizza or tacos in someone's backyard would totally be sufficient and low cost.

Asking your wedding party to pay for their own rehearsal dinner meal would definitely be inappropriate. The rehearsal dinner is the couple’s way of thanking their wedding party for taking time out of their schedules to rehearse for their event. If you are going to have a rehearsal, you need to host (ie, pay for) a rehearsal dinner. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy or formal. The other option would be simply not having a rehearsal; especially if you are just having a standard wedding.

If you don’t want to pay for an expensive rehearsal dinner then either pay for pizza or something casual or have people rehearse day of. It would be in bad taste to expect others to pay or to expect them to attend rehearsal and not host them appropriately.

If you're having a rehearsal, then you need to have a rehearsal dinner which you fully pay for. It would be very rude to have guests cover their own expenses at a rehearsal dinner! Like others said, it doesn't have to be fancy. I've been to a rehearsal dinner before that served pizza, salad, and wine/beer and it was a lot of fun. In general, it's a good idea for a rehearsal dinner to match the general vibe of your wedding (so, a pizza/salad rehearsal dinner would be weird to pair with a black tie wedding). But if your wedding itself isn't on the fancy side, then my recommendation would be to go for a low cost option. In addition to pizza, pasta is another budget friendly option.

Thank you everyone for your insights!

It’s never appropriate to invite people to any wedding related event (or non wedding related) and then ask them to pay anything.


Contrary to popular belief, a rehearsal dinner is often very inexpensive with pizza and sodas being the most common option. You can go to your favorite local spot for a sit down or have it delivered to wherever your party is. Typically, unlike the movies and social media, the event has no pomp and circumstance and the couple dresses very casually and many parties the bride doesn’t wear any white or even a dress, picking a nice casual top and jeans instead. And the party is usually only for those involved in the ceremony and their significant others. Welcome parties for traveling guests are a newer trend that not all social circles participate in, and when they do, again they keep it casual, inexpensive and don’t provide any option for guests to pay for their own food and drinks. If the hosts are unable to pay for alcohol for everyone, then it is not an option on the menu and people do have fun without it.

What day of the week is the rehearsal? If people need to take off from work to attend the rehearsal there should definitely be something after with simple refreshments. Since its early in the afternoon I would make it a very casual lunch. Maybe some nice wraps or pizza, a salad, chips, and water and soda if you want alcohol beer and/or hard seltzers might be affordable. Does not need to be anything fancy but the attendees should not be expected to pay for it.

Thanks everyone, after your recommendations my partner and I will definitley be hosting our wedding party after the rehersal!