Questionable guest invite

Mind you my Sister in law and brother liked my fwb too ..

I also cannot invite my suppose bf because he cannt drive/ no formal wear he would want to rent or buy to come anywyas

I don't understand your question. Are you asking if you should secretly invite someone because your BF can't go to the wedding? My answer would be no.

View Quoted Comment Yes that what I was asking about .. Its just I can say they are also friends with him too alittle (the guest in questioning) and not my “bf” who is just we are on and off to the point not feeling serious, thanks jack

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Anything that requires secrecy is questionable to me.

Was your bf named on the invite? Or were you given a plus one?

View Quoted Comment This sounds like a bad idea. When your boyfriend finds out the truth about who you invited to the wedding (and that you didn't ask him), that's going to be very hurtful for him. If things aren't going well with your boyfriend to where you'd rather hang out with someone else, why not break up with him? That way, you can openly see someone else with having to be secret about it. The two issues you mentioned about your boyfriend not being able to go seem solvable: could you drive him to the wedding (or could he get an Uber or taxi)? If he doesn't have formal wear and doesn't want to rent or buy any, could he borrow attire from friends or family?

If you're willing to secretly have your SIL invite someone you know your boyfriend has issues with, it's time to break up with the boyfriend.

I agree that if things “aren’t going well” and you’re even considering this plan it’s long past time to break up with your BF.

What?! Even if you get a +1, I'm pretty sure one of the major rules of bringing a +1 is "don't bring anyone who has issues with the couple."

View Quoted Comment THIS. 100%

No, you cannot secretly invite anyone to someone else’s wedding. Period.


If you were invited with a plus-one, meaning your invitation said “Bunny and Guest” or just “Bunny” and the RSVP card said 2 seats were reserved in your honor, then you can bring the guest of your choice. If you and your BF were invited by name together, then he is equally invited and you can’t just replace him with someone else.
Since the bride is someone very close to you, if you and your BF have broken up (your post is not very clear), then I’d ask her if you can bring someone else instead. If she says no or if you just can’t/don’t want to bring him, then go alone and enjoy your family.

If the couple didn’t invite someone by name, then you are not allowed to invite anyone extra because you feel they were wrong. At that point, decline the invitation and stay home. If you are in a relationship, and not with someone you just met yesterday on Tinder or who you are known by others to be in a toxic relationship with, then you don’t get to decide for the couple that they made a wrong decision. They invited who they want whom they are comfortable celebrating with.


Everyone has relationship issues at some point but also some people don’t belong together so you need to reevaluate if this person is right to continue the relationship with, and both of you need to work on it if that is the decision you make.

View Quoted Comment Open invite but we been “broken” up in term of we just been toxic to even say he would wanna drive down here and not complain about not having formal wear/car issue

View Quoted Comment In that case, you are the only guest named so you attend alone or you decline the invitation. You don’t add him as a plus one or significant other because he is neither.

View Quoted Comment Well my brother and sister in law had an open invite (My dad invited his own few workers to it, ) I just know the toxic side sucks because I was happy to enough having a boyfriend first time huge event but we sorta have broken up on and off with his paranoia and then hatred of the guest I invited bc I was FWB in past with them , however the bride n groom know the FWB in question


but thank for u for the advice maam

View Quoted Comment I’ve asked him but it came down to him having to see which car he needs to borrow from his family and gas money and just buying formal wear is like pushed him away and just other things in his life where this and his toxic behavior nothing changed, we are broken up but I guess still around each other..( Im young haha..) But you’re righy I will just ask if he has family member willing to give him attire/ car wise at least and just let other person know they cannot go

View Quoted Comment I asked her and invited them and as seeing these messages and taking in a lot (bf and I broken up just we are floating around each other still type of issue) I might just let the other guest know to not come at all then >~<

View Quoted Comment It was my bf who has an issue with my past FWB ( we become strickly friends) but concept of that past made him tell me block him and ger rid to make a relationship work over a two year friendship..

View Quoted Comment Everyone else's advice here still stands: 1) no you can't do this, and 2) it's a bad idea for your relationship in general. If you do this, your bf will probably dump you when he finds out.