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Just Said Yes April 2023

Pregnant Bridal Party

Alex, on August 19, 2022 at 5:56 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
Just looking to vent a little and looking for words of encouragement/perspective….


My dear friend who is a bridesmaid in my wedding had a miscarriage a few months back and recently found out she is pregnant again. I am BEYOND happy for her, she is going to be an incredible mom!!! Her due date, however, is right around the time of my wedding. She is fully planning to participate, but as we know babies have minds of their own and can make their arrival at any time….
A week later, my fiancés brother called to say his wife is pregnant. Everyone was under the impression they did not want to have children, so this is certainly a welcomed surprise for the family! We are very excited for them! (We’ll be an auntie and uncle for the first time, yayyy!!). They live across the country and since my FSIL is due a month after our wedding, she doesn’t want to be so far from home that close to her due date. She will not be attending our wedding, and my FBIL (who is supposed to be a groomsman) will wait and see how his wife is doing before deciding to attend.
We are so excited for my friend and FBIL/FSIL, but selfishly a little sad for ourselves that some of our loved ones won’t be at our wedding. I keep telling myself if my friend and FBIL don’t attend, that’s an easy pair to eliminate and we’ll still keep our numbers even (gotta look for the silver lining lol). But I’m still sad they might not be there. We would never tell them this, bc it’s ridiculous to expect people to put their lives on hold for someone else’s wedding. I’m still just…. Bummed.
Have you had pregnant bridal party members who couldn’t attend your wedding? Any tips for managing the excitement with the selfish sadness?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on October 18, 2022 at 11:29 AM
  • R
    Rockstar
    Rosebud ·
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    What a special and exciting time for your family and friends! I can understand why you d be disappointed your loved ones may not be there for your special day but try not to let it dampen your spirits. One of the positive things to come out in recent years is the many ways we ve discovered to include people in events virtually if they can't be present. I have not had this specific situation but my fh and I both have had a big death in our families this year and the idea that they won't be at the wedding sends me into a spiral. The thing that helps is to focus on the happy and joyful things write out the positives and just be present in the love that is surrounding you. There are no guarantees in life cherish every moment and choose happy whenever you can. Sending you a big hug its ok to be sad or disappointed but in the big picture you have so many joyful things going on right now. Feel your feelings they are valid but try your best not to stay in them. Wishing you the most wonderful wedding day!

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I understand your disappointment. It might help to remind yourself not to let it steal your joy in your day.

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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    It is some consolation that people can participate remotely. They can watch and they can even share their voices ... give a dreaded speech how happy they are for your marriage. Hopefully though it works out that these can join in person.

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  • Bird
    Super June 2021
    Bird ·
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    My husbands best friend had his first child a few days before our wedding. He obviously did not make it to the wedding. It was a bummer, really wish he and his wife were there but… what are ya gonna do! Best to just move on. It’s just one day. Friendships and family relationships last a life time. That might sound easier said than done. But…Good luck!!! Rooting for you ❤️
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  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa ·
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    My friend had a pregnant friend with complications, she asked someone else to fill in, but the baby waited a couple more weeks. However her numbers were now not even because the fill in already purchased her dress. That being said it looked nice to have the last groomsman take 2 beautiful ladies on his arm to walk down the aisle.
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  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Hello Congratulations to your family with there lil blessing to come can you find a replace for her or is it cutting it close to. But only advice that I can say is keep it's as is and go on with your wedding. If they were paired up with someone a groomsmen will just ha e two ladies to walk with. Just adjust the wedding party abit but it won't mess things up it will be ok. I hope that all goes well
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  • I
    Beginner October 2022
    Is ·
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    There's a lot going on, and a lot of good things!! I can understand the sadness and joy all at the same time, my best friend became pregnant shortly after our engagement (like everyone says, we shouldn't put our lives on hold!), and she's due the day of our wedding so she can't come either- I was this weird super excited and happy for her but so sad I couldn't have her with me yet trying to hide that because I just wanted her to feel happy (I know she was bummed though because she did a COVID wedding with just immediate family and the rest of us on zoom- it was nice to see her still, but I know we both had envisioned our wedding days a bit differently...with both of us by each other's sides!). We really can't put anything on hold now at this point though, knowing how the world is. It's tough because many of these life events have bittersweet feelings about them! But I know she's a friend for a lifetime, and I'm hers as well, and that we'll have tons of memories to make even still. But I get it!! Sending you a big hug!!

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    Pregnancies totally ruined my bridal party, LOL. Originally I wanted my childhood best friend N (closest thing I have to a sister) to be my MOH and two other girls J (a close friend) and K (who played a pivotal role in my husband and I starting to date) to be my bridesmaids in our east coast wedding. Well K ended up pregnant and due a month before our wedding, so I didn't ask her, and J ended up engaged and planned her wedding for the same day on the west coast, so I didn't ask her, but it was fine because N was the only one I really needed. We picked out a dress for N, who lives four hours away, and then two months before our May 2020 wedding Covid happened. Then 10 days before the original wedding date, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and had an uncertain prognosis, so we decided to legally marry that day because we didn't know if she'd live to see us married if we delayed, but we rescheduled our celebration with friends and family for the following year. Come fall, N ends up pregnant and due within two weeks of our rescheduled 2021 date, so she drops out, and then when RSVP time comes J (who I never asked to be a bridesmaid but was really excited she would now be able to attend) ends up declining and skipping the wedding entirely due to her first trimester of pregnancy and just not wanting to do anything social while having morning sickness. I couldn't imagine having any bridemaids if N wasn't there, so I ended up with no bridesmaids at all.

    It was all very sad for me at the time, but I'm no longer bitter about it. Now that we have a little one of our own, I really just feel so incredibly grateful to be able to share the bond of motherhood with my close friends. Also, having gone through the whole pregnancy and postpartum bit I really can't blame them for being cautious about traveling during pregnancy or signing up for any commitments while attached to an unknown schedule. Its impossible to reliably predict what anyone's pregnancy, labor, delivery, and postpartum recovery experience or timeline will be like. I have now had both a wedding and a baby and can say without hesitation that babies are definitely a bigger deal than weddings.

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