Planning help

Hello Amanda. Lots of couples have only each other to plan and pay. You can rely on bridal salon attendants, vendors, and your gut instincts during decision-making. Lastly, no one will be into your wedding as much as you. But, if you do feel your family is not supportive of your union, by all means protect yourself and share little with them. Invitations go out 6-8 weeks beforehand, so you have time to enjoy your engagement and sort family out later. Best wishes, Bride.

Many couples feel that only they are the ones who should plan together. When you start involving other people’s opinions and money, that comes with strings attached and you lose having final say so it becomes someone else’s party. Often the people who are contributing money and ideas already got married with someone else planning for them something that the couple didn’t want so it’s not their place to decide anything for you.


It’s not the responsibility of friends, family, bridesmaids to plan. Sit down with fiancé and decide what you both want and what you can afford without getting financial assistance.

View Quoted Comment Well no I never said it was the family or friends responsibility or none of that. What I was saying is that I'm not fashion savvy or any of that so I need help knowing what kinds of flowers look good together, what colors look good together, etc. I also never said I wanted ANYBODY'S financial input either. That's ridulous that you're making gross assumptions. Having support and people being happy for me wouldn't hurt though. But I know who my supporters are judging from this and it's 3 people total, fiancée included. Way to make judgments and accusations though.

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry you feel unsupported. I know you said you don't know what looks good together so I would recommend gathering inspiration. I would start by deciding what colors you want then look up inspiration on Pinterest. For example, if you like purple you could go to Pinterest and type in purple wedding board and it will pull up photos of colors that pair well with purple. You could essentially do this with any color. It would help give you an idea of what looks good together and you could go from there. A florist would also be able to help you decide on flowers. For our wedding, I took a swatch with me to our florist to help her get an idea of what our colors were and we were able to plan the decor/flowers out together.

Amanda, if you ever need an opinion on some design aspect, please feel free to message me

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!

View Quoted Comment You're welcome!

That’s what these boards are for. Feel free to bounce ideas off of the people here! You wedding looks like it’s not for around 3 years, if your date is correct. There’s not really much to do at this point, anyway.

View Quoted Comment Yeah. The date is just a guesstimate. We're paying for the wedding ourselves so it will take a while to save up to make our combined dream a reality. It may even be longer than that but ever since he said that he could see himself being married to me I started planning and told him of it and he's been excited too and inputting his own ideas as well. Haha. We're doing a long distance relationship until September of 2023 so it's not an easy task.

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So that’s something too. I’m sure people are thinking there’s lots of time for planning. It’s important though to really note that no-one will be as excited and interested in your wedding than you and your spouse. Sometimes it’s just expectation management.

I'm not sure it's fair to be "annoyed beyond belief" that your family isn't excited and supportive of your engagement when they haven't actually met your fiancee.

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We have plenty of ideas and pinterest boards of our own that we'll bounce off of each other when we're together again. We're from the same area, known each other more than 10 years, been dating for more than a year and a half now but are doing long distance until September 2023.

Outdoor waterfront venueFall wedding on the date we met 10 years agoBBQ food with blue crabs (we're from Maryland, known for steamed crabs), several sidesNavy blue and white wedding colorsThree tier cakeDessert/Candy stationIce cream station with toppingsCornholeKaraokeHorseshoesBonfire I don't like those boring guess these things about the bride and groom kinda games.An arch with lights and flowersSunset weddingSemi-formal/dressy causal dress code for guests and wedding partyDining tent/portable gazebo for receptionNon-religious ceremonyMy wedding dress will be simple and modest His outfit he wishes for us to pick out together
That's all I can recall off the top of my head currently. Haha.













































They are judgmental, mean and super toxic people. That's why they haven't met him. I don't want them saying mean things to or about him. They do that enough to me and have my entire life. They're ignorant, rude and just not nice at all. I try to avoid introducing anyone to my family if I can help it. They people they have met they've said awful things about, they say awful things to and about everyone. It's just who they are. I protect people from them if I can. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I can see how you would want participation from your family but it sounds likes your family experience never has been very good. It would be hard to expect a sudden change in that. And maybe your sister is better at being helped than of helping you -- or the married situation keeps her busy. The important thing is that you have a chance to break that cycle. Hoping the best for you and your FH.

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Believe me, I totally understand. My dad's side of the family was exactly like yours. No judgement on your part, and I would never encourage you to introduce them if you're not comfortable doing so. I'm just saying I can understand why they wouldn't volunteer for stuff if they don't know him. Have you invited any of them to specific things, like dress shopping? If not, maybe ask and see if they'd like to go.

In any case, it sounds like you two know what you want and are doing great with the planning. Good luck to you both, and congratulations!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much. Yeah, I've been successfully breaking the cycle for more than a year and 7 months now, with my boyfriend's help. I just don't have any local close friends that are female to help with like dress shopping or anything of the sort. I'm a tomboy so I need help with like dress shopping figuring out what looks good together, etc. They can not care for he or I for the rest of our lives for all I care. I just want design help for my wedding. Haha.

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Uh oh. And you helped your sister with your sense of fashion? kidding. You'll do fine. People here will help with ideas.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! And no, I've never asked for them to help me. I just mention that I need to figure out my measurements and a dress, hopeful that they'll be like ohhhh I want to help. Nope. I'm not gonna beg anybody for help or anything period like I learned in my childhood. I don't need anyone but my fiancée. Screw every one of them. Mind you, I have 5 siblings, 4 of them are sisters who are older. But I'll handle things like I always have. Alone.

View Quoted Comment Also not inviting them to the wedding. Any of them. Parents or siblings. I'm under no obligation. Fiancée has similar issues with his own blood relatives and he cut them off long ago. I'm gonna do the same when we move together in September. It's not like they offer support, positivity or anything anyway so what am I cutting off? The same dismissive, avoidant behavior I've been dealing with my entire life. Haha. We're both breaking toxic every which way.

View Quoted Comment Lmao. Nope not at all. Her twin (I have identical twin sisters) was the maid of honor and helped her. I was just asked to stand up there and hold flowers. Hahaha. She just wanted opinions from us on the dress which I helped with but I don't like lace, ballgown, etc. So I offered no opinions really. I just sat there and only met them there cause I was already in the area, driving around. Haha.

View Quoted Comment Yeah my family is cut off when I move. Breaking the cycle and cutting out the toxic completely is important to both of us. We need it in order to heal.