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Super July 2023

Picking a date... bigger crisis than i expected

Eniale, on February 8, 2021 at 9:59 PM Posted in Planning 0 21

We are in the early stages of planning a vow renewal for our 15th anniversary.

My "dream" event is a brunch - ceremony at 11, over by 3. Maybe have some other fun event later that our guests can join or not depending on their preference.

Originally, my immediate choice was our actual wedding date - which happens to land on a Sunday on our 15th anniversary. This fit perfectly with the above. A Sunday brunch, then if we had something later (I was thinking something fun, like going bowling at an upscale alley) people could opt in or out depending how late they wanted to be out.

But I realized one big concern, and that is that the venue - our original wedding venue - is outside. And our anniversary is in July. And we live in Florida. And a brunch happens in the middle of the day.

So now I've been looking at alternative dates. I don't really want to pick a totally random date. I considered my birthday in March, which falls on a Friday, and I've looked at our dating anniversary in February, which lands on a Saturday.

Which would you, as a guest, be more likely to go to? A brunch on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, keeping in mind that the Sunday would be very hot? (I would do what I could to mitigate the heat, but there is only so much you can do.)

These were my own pros/cons for each date:

July (Sunday)
Pros: our actual wedding date; day suits the event type perfectly; being a Sunday, it leaves our friends open on Saturday either for more important events (as I realize this is a vow renewal and therefore low on the priority list) or for work (in the case of our gig worker friends)
Cons: hot, hot, hot; kids will be home, so we will have to handle that hurdle, as we wanted an adults-only event

March (Friday)
Pros: venue is about $1000 cheaper than Saturday or Sunday; the date will be cooler (by about 15-20 degrees, looking at historical data); still leaves friends open for Saturday; in the case of friends who work a standard work week, gives them an excuse to have a three-day weekend; kids will be in school at the time, so easy to request no children, as they'll be occupied
Cons: standard work day; will people even go to an afternoon event on a Friday? (our guest list is already going to be "micro" - probably 25-30 guests - so a high number of declines could make things very weird?)
Neutral: evening event could go either way, because on one hand people could be more inclined to go since they don't have to get up Saturday morning, but also they might not join since they would want to go home to their kids when they get home from school; alternatively, we could say that the evening event was open to children, since it would probably be something casual and family-fun type like bowling

February (Saturday)
Pros: date will be cooler; people may be more inclined to join us for some evening fun afterwards knowing they don't have to get up the next day
Cons: occupies our friends' Saturday; our dating anniversary is VERY close to Valentine's Day, which could mean a struggle to book vendors; kids are again a hurdle

If you read all of this, thank you. Just looking for thoughts.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Eri, on February 9, 2021 at 6:24 PM
  • Jessica
    Devoted February 2021
    Jessica ·
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    I would go with a brunch on Saturday or Sunday if you have guests coming from out of town especially
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    We have no out of town guests at all.

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    Couldn’t you just have the celebration on your wedding anniversary, but at a different venue that will allow you to be indoors?
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  • M
    Devoted April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Is there a spefic reason why you want this venue? Could you find one with an indoor option?
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    It's the venue where we got married. Between the date and the venue, I would pick the venue every time.

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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    The reason I provided the parameters I did is because I am prioritizing which parts are the most important to me - the venue isn't flexible, the date is. Would rather compromise on the date than the venue.

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I see. Well, I would definitely think a different venue on the Sunday of your actual anniversary would be the optimal choice. However, if you are not flexible on the venue, I would go with the Saturday in February (I am assuming you live somewhere warm to be outdoors in February?). Seems like it would be the least inconvenient for your guests.
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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    Well, if the venue is non-negotiable, then I would vote for Saturday in February. However, depending where you are in Florida, February weather can be downright cold, and you may want to consider heat lamps and blankets to make sure your guests are comfortable.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    To be honest, I feel like a vow renewal makes the most sense on or near your wedding anniversary, so I feel like the date is less flexible than the venue in this case. If this is the venue you got married at 15 years ago, what did you do then? Florida in July was just as hot then as it is now. Is there no indoor option at this venue?
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    Exactly what I was thinking
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    It's a little hit or miss where I live - dead center of the state. Some years it's cold, some years it isn't. I looked at the weather data from the last ten years - at the coldest part of the event (the morning), it ranges from 55 at the lowest to 80 at the highest. This year it's supposed to be about 80. It seems only one year was 55; on average, it tends to be 70-80. February is also a VERY popular month in my area because the weather tends to be more mild (though admittedly I think that March has much better weather, temperature wise, sunshine wise, and predictability wise.)

    But I do think that it would be easier to heat/warm people up than try to cool them down, maybe.

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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    We got married at 7 in the evening, and it was incredibly hot for the first hour or so. I personally was drenched in sweat after our 20-minute ceremony. Everyone just very graciously put up with it. In hindsight, I was an idiot for not realizing that it would be 95 degrees and my guests would all be sweaty and miserable, and I'm lucky they loved us enough to grin and bear it.

    There is also a big difference between one hour at 7pm, and four hours in the literal hottest part of the day, 11am-3pm.

    There are not indoor options. There is the option for a tent, but that only takes care of part of it - the "ambient heat" would still be a problem. If you are in Florida, you know that even shade is hot in the middle of the day.

    I don't agree on the date thing at all, personally. I think dates are whenever you want - and a glance online suggests most people agree with me there that you can have a vow renewal pretty much whenever you like, including on your own birthday or another special date.

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  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
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    Agreed with PP that a vow renewal only really makes sense close to your anniversary, but if I had to pick from these options as a guest, I would prefer the Saturday in February

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  • Belle
    VIP August 1997
    Belle ·
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    I think you already has your answer. I feel like you wanted it in February. However, I feel like it’s more sense doing it on your anniversary though. It’s more special. We will renew our vow on our 25th, and hoping we will get a venue right on our date. Then we can say “It has been 25 years”, instead of “it has been 24,5 years”. It’ll be cold in February and maybe also raining. Summer is hot, yes.
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    I say your actual anniversary date. Even though it’ll be hot. People deal with the heat all the time.
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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    From having lived in Florida, I would never ever go to an event outside in July unless it was at the beach/a pool party.
    Do the Saturday in February. Brunch on Saturday is pretty normal
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Considering you have already overheated your guests once (the same guests?), I wouldn't do it again at the SAME venue. So, I feel like you need a different venue with an indoor (air conditioned!) space. But you have said the venue is set in stone. So, that means going with the February date. However, I agree with previous posters that, as a guest, I would think it was odd to receive an invitation celebrating the anniversary of an event in a totally different time of year.

    Of course there are no actual rules for when and how to celebrate a vow renewal, so you're right; you can choose any date you like. And any venue. But you asked for opinions and this is mine: find a better venue to coincide with your anniversary date.

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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    February is actually my least favorite of the options, for a lot of reasons. Saturday seems weird for a day event, because then people can't really do anything else afterward, but even if we do something else afterward, it's an early night. It's also literally the Saturday before Valentine's Day, which I imagine makes booking anything an absolute nightmare. And I agree on "maybe also raining." It just also is our dating anniversary, which seemed like a reasonable possibility.

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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    That is fine, but to be fair, I specifically asked for opinions on the days of the week/season, not on the date. Thanks for the input.

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  • Belle
    VIP August 1997
    Belle ·
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    The summer date, on your anniversary, is there a possibility to rent tents and those fans like at outdoor restaurants?
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