Paying for hair stylists?

Sometimes you have to have a certain number of people getting their hair done just to get a stylist to work that day. If enough of you want hairstyling, this could work out if they want it and are happy paying for the services. Most likely you would probably pay it if you were pushing for a certain direction -- like updos. Maybe since your MOH would not want a stylist on premise, just have the others pay ... or even meet them halfway on expenses.

The etiquette of the situation is that it's generous when offered, but not obligatory whatsoever to provide hair or makeup services. Whether you do or don't pay, you are not entitled to dictate personal style. Likewise, if your bridesmaids prefer to DIY or go to their own salon, that is their prerogative as long as they are there in time.

The rule is that if you’re requiring they use a stylist, you have to pay. If you’re just giving them the option to use one, you can tell them they have to cover it if they opt in. I’d include under “requiring they use a stylist” if you’re requiring a specific hairstyle that not everyone is capable of doing on their own.

For my wedding, I got pricing for hair and makeup from several different companies and then before booking the one I liked the best I reached out to each girl and let them know that I was looking into hiring a hair and makeup artist for the wedding and the cost for reach. I gave them the option if they wanted both, one, or neither. They decided based on their budget and desires. I didn't have the budget to pay for everyone's nor did I require it so I ultimately left it up to them and they covered whatever service they wanted.

I think this differs by region and/or social circles. In our social circles, the bride and groom pay for the hair and makeup services. The thought around that is that the bride and groom are the ones requesting the wedding party take time out of their busy schedules to stand with us during our event. It is also a means of honoring those closest to us. So it only makes sense that we would pay for the costs associated with doing so (after all, what kind of an honor is it if we request them to do something, then tell them they have to pay for it??)

If you are requiring a specific look or a service to be used, then it’s your responsibility to cover costs. Social media and the wedding industry currently are pushing couples into paying all expenses for guests and bridal party that are not the couple’s responsibility and they don’t care if you go into debt in the process. The only expenses that you as the hosts are responsible for, regardless of what the wedding industry attempts to dictate, is the food and beverages for the rehearsal dinner and reception. Everything else is the financial responsibility of guests.


Some hair/makeup vendors, especially if it is a combined business and not an independent vendor, require you to have a minimum of x number of services/people before they will work with you. And depending on the contract verbiage, they require that you (who signed the contract) pay as a lump sum for all services. It’s up to you if you want to offer to pay for everyone or they choose to pay themselves. Whatever you decide needs to be made transparent to the people you plan to ask as bridesmaids before they are officially asked at 6 months before the wedding so they can decide if they have the financial and emotional bandwidth to be a bridesmaid.
It’s a very unpopular opinion but many women don’t have skills and/or confidence to do their own hair/makeup but online forums and social media insist that it’s an ingrained skill from the age of 11 as part of being female, and that is 1000% not true and largely ignored who don’t understand or care that it’s not a universal skill.

I had to group pay for my hair and makeup services. But I am not requiring that my bridesmaids get there hair and makeup done. I asked everyone if they wanted to before hand. Two of my bridesmaids are my daughters, so of coarse I will pay for them. The rest of my bridesmaids have given me the money back because they requested the service.

At my best friends wedding she gave us the option to pay, but her entire bridal party (aside from me) said that they’d do it their selves… DO NOT LET THEM DO IT THEIRSELVES! Every dollar you spent on wedding photos will be ruined… because your bridesmaids look crazy. My other friend did the same thing, but then paid for it as a “gift to the bridal party” - it made her photos turn out better & everyone was happy.

View Quoted Comment The photos would reflect your friends. They could only be “ruined” if you’re superficial enough to believe that they need professional services to walk out the door everyday.


And LOL but offering to pay is in no way a gift to the bridal party when the motivation is as self serving as you say it is.

View Quoted Comment A surprising number of women don’t have confidence or skills if they were never shown how. No matter how many tutorials on YouTube they watch, that won’t give them skills and it costs time and money, which is not a cost saver. Especially when expensive products for multiple trials (which again cost money because time/sanity/skill equal minimum wage per hour) will only be used one time.


If they look unkempt, that’s a reflection that they have no hair/makeup skills when left to their own devices, which society sees as a mark against them. Hair/makeup is never a gift to them because it’s a prop for your pictures, especially when it is required. The same for dresses, shoes, jewelry, robes/pjs and more. No one’s photos will be ruined. It speaks volumes that you don’t trust your own closest friends.