Parental contributions to paying for wedding

Recent stats show American couples pay for most, if not all, wedding expenses these days. Not sure where you are based. We did not receive any funding from the groom's side, nor was it expected.

There is no amount a parent (whether bride's or groom's) should contribute. Neither set of parents are obligated to fund their child(ren)'s wedding. With couples getting married later in life than in past generations, a lot of couples now pay for their own weddings. If a parent wants to contribute, they should offer only what they wish and what is comfortable for them; but they should never be solicited by the couple for funding for their event.

Parents offer if they choose to. There isn't really a bride vs groom parents contribution anymore. Have the wedding you can afford. If the grooms parents offer to to help, they will do so. If they choose not to or can't that is perfectly acceptable, it's their money. Don't get upset or angry if they don't contribute because it shows you think they owe you money for getting married.

Have the wedding you can afford. If you can't afford the wedding you want, you need to really think about what is important (which can vary from couple to couple): Wait until you can afford it, cut back the guest list and make some cuts with splurges, or get married at the courthouse and have a vow renewal type celebration later. There are plenty of options

If you want to be super traditional, the only part that the groom’s parents paid for was the rehearsal dinner. The bride’s parents paid for everything else and the couple didn’t contribute a single penny nor get to make a decision on their own. The issue that commonly arises in many posts is that the parents offer money and want full say in certain decisions which is the compromise that has to be made when accepting money. If you want to plan your way, because parents already got married and their parents planned theirs with zero input from the couple getting married, then don’t accept money and have the wedding you can afford.


Modern couples pay for the entire wedding on their own without financial assistance and they plan the wedding that they can afford. If that means cake and coffee in the church fellowship hall and call it a day afterward or have Chinese food or pizza delivered to the local community center, alcohol optional, with an inexpensive grocery store cake and flowers, then that’s what they do. All of those are equally valid because they are properly hosted. It is absolutely not true that you have to postpone a wedding until you have $35k minimum because countless weddings everyday don’t cost anywhere near that much.

The parents of the wedding couple are not obligated to help financially. Any contribution is optional and would be considered a gift from them to you.

The traditional split was the bride’s parents paid for the wedding day and the groom’s parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and possibly honeymoon. But that’s rarely applied these days. We’re paying for it ourselves, and my parents are putting in a little.

I have had several friends get no offers from the bride's/groom's/either's parents to help with costs. Personally, I did not bring up costs to my in-laws when we were engaged; my mother-in-law expressed to me and my parents that my in-laws wanted to host a welcome dinner in lieu of a rehearsal dinner for the out of town guests and family. If your future in-laws don't bring it up, there's no polite way to ask. It's fairly common today in the US for families to not help.