I got married in November. We planned the wedding in less then two month. After a hard year and a lot of bad vibes around us, it just felt right.
I love my husband and I’m happy we did it. I’m just saying that, because I feel a bit crazy. I was never a huge Cinderella girl - but after my wedding I got a lot of ‘what If thoughts’, months after the ceremony: right after I picked up my tailored wedding dress, I thought: it looked different at the store: it was too short so I couldn’t wear the shoes I wanted, I bought new ones ( I’m pretty sure nobody cared, but somehow it still makes me sad, the shoes was the first thing I had and in all pictures I think: it was still too short.
The fun part about it: I never wanted a big wedding or a wedding dress. In the beginning I wanted to wear a jumpsuit. My sister told me: just try it on. now I’m honestly sad about not wearing what I wanted on the first place. But why does it bother me so much? It’s just one day (but somehow it feels like I ruined a ‘once in a lifetime moment)
And after that thoughts, I started to rethink my own wedding. My first thought was: my dream wedding was just us two. But that was my dream, not the dream my husband had. He has a big family and having 50 people around us, was small for him. But a lot of people on his side, made bad jokes (my husband was shocked as well, but yeah: it happened, I can’t change it anymore) and maybe I needed to rethink everything, bur why now?
Looking at the pictures still makes me happy. But now I’m thinking why the rush?, the other brides are looking so much better, the DJ, you have to speak up for yourself
I’m thinking about talking to someone, because I can’t talk to my husband about it. He feels something is wrong, but I’m not sure how to tell him
