Not Many Guests on My Side

Not me. I had a baby shortly after marriage and I found motherhood and working full time to be very overwhelming.

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Sure. It sounds like any plans are more day to day for you. Hope you can make the best even in your busy schedule. Congratulations for your new child.

Building friendships as an adult is certainly harder than as a child, so you're not alone! Everyone is busy, shy, and private even in a world of social media. Psychologists advise adults to be intentional when trying to forge friendships. I'm trying the 3:6 rule where you make plans 3x within 6 months and 2 are in real life (I guess leaving 1 by text/phone?). I hope this works with the new couple we met at a Halloween party. I've already suggested a dinner meet-up to an excited yes. I, personally, want to make more couple friends who are DINKS like us (dual-income, no kids).

After my wedding, I busied myself with taking professional development classes and getting promotions. We also tried redecorating our home, and it was harder picking out a new couch together than passing certification tests on my own.

Best wishes with all your plans. It's an exciting time imagining and planning your married lives. I think creating new friendships is a very healthy goal for a couple wanting to define themselves as a unit within their community.

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I'm glad to hear that you have a plan and that you were able to suggest a get-together. Hope these initial steps become something grander for the both of you. Thanks for sharing.

It’s pretty common as an adult to be more selective with friends, preferring quality over quantity. And they are harder to make, unless you are naturally an extrovert which not everyone is. There’s no shame in having a few ride or die friends who love you no matter what than to invite a plethora of people out of obligation who don’t care about you at all at an event reserved for your closest supportive social circle.


After the wedding, pre-Covid, the couple would focus on their married life together and everything that entails. Instead of a dozen vow renewals or receptions, they would host events in their home that were not wedding related. Sometimes you meet new people there. There’s social clubs for all interests and hobbies both online and locally in person that advertise online. Many people meet best friends cross country that way. If you belong to a house of worship, that’s another option to meet people. Just walk out the door and live life as you do. On the flip side, some people don’t click in the standard places to meet and that’s ok too. Either way, keep expectations realistic and let it happen on its own or it will create unnecessary stress.

I made a lot of friends joining a quilting group. We'd all do our own quilts together, eat, drink, and have fun. You could try to find a class for something you're interested in and you'll make friends right away.

I actually loved planning. I'm now planning my 30th birthday "gala". All of the fun ideas my husband said no to I can use for my party and we can all wear our fancy dresses again! Next will be my mom's 60th soiree.

Thanks for the ideas. Your example of the quilting group gives some ideas where you may have socializing while doing your own project. Maybe can figure out something to do as a couple too. I'll keep looking at ideas.

Some other people may be helped by this discussion.

View Quoted Comment Are you into entertaining? Some people we know have game nights where they will play card games (a list of suggestions: https://muggles.cards/games-like-cards-against-humanity/ ) and everyone brings potluck style snacks. Are there any social groups or clubs that you have similar or individual interests in? Those will broaden your friends group. Eventup.com is a good place to find events and groups in your area and expand from there