Non rsvp guests

The afternoon/evening of the reply due date, you start contacting everyone who did not reply. It normally takes a couple days to get through everyone. If they don’t give an answer on the spot when you call, count them as a no. You tally the yes replies and give that number to the caterer. Never accommodate the people who don’t reply and ignore you because you will spend a ton of money on people who don’t show and don’t care, and you can’t get a refund and you can’t take home leftovers.


When you get the final guest count, you can work on your escort cards. Those are much easier on you and guests than a poster which is expensive, hard to read, and people forget their assignments. Unlike escort cards, a seating poster cannot easily or inexpensively be redone if you have typos or someone has to be moved.

I agree, don't cater to people who can't follow simple etiquette. If they can't commit to a yes, they don't need a seat. IMO

I agree with others - don't plan for surprise guests. Call everyone who didn't RSVP after the RSVP due date. If they don't pick up, leave a voicemail that you are asking for their RSVP and if you don't hear back within x days, they will be marked as not attending. If anyone gives you crap, blame it on the contracts that require advanced notice and that it is not possible to accommodate them. It's not a lie - because they do require advanced headcounts. You shouldn't be expected to be out hundreds of dollars for someone who can't respond to you within the 8-9 weeks notice that comes with invites.

Hi ! Is there a lot of them ? Can't you just call them...?

View Quoted Comment Most of these are FH friends. I dont want to call them ghetto but they kind of are. And i dont think men really care. And in his family/culture it’s normal for people to just show up. FH isnt helping me. I asked him twice which friends said they are coming. And some of these friends might just come after dinner. Idk. I plan to have 3 extra tables. I bought paper chargers so that the tables dont look empty.

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Ah... well, it was similar with my husband about one of his friends and his family... His wife had a due date like 2 weeks after our wedding. And it was impossible for them to decide whether they are coming or not. In a situation like this, I would just say "no, thanks, we're heavily pregnant, we're staying home, happy wedding". But not them. We asked for RSVP 5 weeks before the wedding. They responded 5 days before... And my fiance would not ask, as it would be rude...

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The fact that " in his family/culture it’s normal for people to just show up" doesn't mean you have to shut up and let it slide. His family's traditions and culture are a thing but the etiquette and the rules made by the vendors are way more important.

Venues, caterers, bakers need the exact guest count beforehand for a reason.

Like Michelle and others said, why would you increase your budget for people if you don't know wherther or not they will show up and, obviously don't care that much about you since it does take less than 1 minute to mark YES or NO and a couple mins to send the mail? So these people can't ftake 5-10 mins to do this?

My fiancé and I made it clear that those who will have yet to mark yes or no , about 1 week before the rsvp due date will get a reminder and if we don't hear back on the due date, we will remove them from the head count, no debate, no chat PERIOD. Planning a wedding is stressfull enough, we are not going to track them down if they can't even tell us a simple "yes"/"no".

View Quoted Comment Im going to tell the caterer the exact number of ppl that rsvp yes. But im still going to have extra seating at least they will have a place to sit. Also food is buffet style, not plated.

View Quoted Comment Lol did they end up responding yes? Or No.

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The friend said yes for himself, but no for his wife and their first kid. So 1 ou of 3... ;-) The kid was born 3 weeks after our wedding and... my husband was asked to be the Godfather

View Quoted Comment Oh how nice! Lol.