Non religious ceremony

We had my husband's uncle get ordained online and perform our non-religious ceremony. Our marriage is just as official...

View Quoted Comment I agree! And I’m sure it was great that it was so personal.

We had our best friend get ordained and marry us and it was great. It was so nice and personal which is what we both wanted. It’s your day so if that’s what you want I would do it and not worry about others.

We’re not religious either. We found a reverend who performed religious and non religious ceremonies. Our guests loved it because the passages we choose were about unity and love.


Check out his website http://revschulte.com/ Maybe that can help guide you in your search.

We're using Simply Eloped for our officiant (we booked with them when we thought we'd have an actual elopement) but I know there are so many officiants in so many regions that specialize in non-religious ceremonies! Hiring a "real" officiant keeps you from putting a friend or family member on the spot, helps ensure your marriage license gets filed correctly, and might help your mom with the "official" feeling!

We had my husband's cousin officiate us. I don't know why, but I just knew it in my heart that I wanted her to do it. When I discussed it with my husband he was totally down for that idea. And she did an AMAZING job because she totally was able to capture the both of us

I do see how your mom would feel that way, but it's only official through paper lol.

I've asked my stepmother to be the officiant for us. She will be ordained online. It's perfectly legal, though I understand the hesitation from your mom's perspective. The ceremony can be almost anything you want it to be. It's a special moment for you and your spouse to make vows. Besides, God is everywhere so even in a non religious ceremony, your religious family should feel appeased. Best of luck 👍

Check with the marriage license office in your state what the laws are. Some states don’t recognize online ordinations as legal. Plus not everyone is equipped to do public speaking or comfortable with it if it is allowed in your state. The professionals know what the laws are and can modify the ceremony to fit you.


Look on Yelp or Instagram for non religious officiants. Many don’t include religion at all if you ask them. Church clergy is only one fraction of choices.

Non-religious weddings have been very common for a long time. Just because your mom hasn't seen one, doesn't make them any less real. I got married at the courthouse and it felt very personal because it was exactly what we wanted. I've known lots of people who have gotten happily married at the courthouse, or at other venues either with a hired officiant or an ordained friend or family member.

Two cautionary notes about having a friend or family member officiate: 1) Make sure this is legal where you live. 2) If you ask someone you know, make sure they are really good public speakers, would be good in the role, and be willing to put in the extra effort to plan the ceremony (since this is the DIY route).

I've been to several awkward, poorly planned, and flubbed wedding ceremonies performed by amateurs.

I contacted three Wedding Officiants, and personally talked to all of them. The officiant I chose was one I INSTANTLY connected with. Like, she totally got me, my theme and my concerns. I am so happy with the professional way she is handling everything, and have no qualms about 'not knowing her' personally. I would caution you about asking a friend or relative to get ordained so they can officiate for you. There is a lot more to it than just asking "do you.....?" For example, our officiant will be arriving to the venue about an hour early so she can check in with the coordinator and DJ. She has done ceremonies at this venue, so she is totally familiar with the set up. Personally, I want someone who has done this as a living for a good amount of time - they set the tone for the whole ceremony.

Maybe things are different here in Australia but it is very uncommon to have a friend or family member get ordained - to do so is like, a 1 or 2 year course with exams etc and would be quite expensive/impractical unless the person wanted to do it as a business/for more than one couple.

It is normal to have an officiant who is legally able to do the ceremony, which can be spiritual/religious in nature if the couple wish it and the celebrant is comfortable with that, but much more commonly, wholly secular.

So, you just look some up, do some preliminary chats with them and see who you like from there.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!! I’m going to look into this ❤️

It's really going to depend on the state. Some don't allow it at all, others have a complex process for someone to become ordained and others make it super simple. My address would be to speak to someone where you plan on getting your marriage license to find out the requirements and if it's even allowed.

I found my person on Facebook so I could read her reviews. We have spoken several times and will have met face to face before hand, so its not like a "stranger" doing it. Your mom is just probably a little old-school, as this is really common nowdays.

I got married in a non-religious ceremony by a judge in our venue (I didn’t want to do it at the courthouse). It helped the ceremony feel much more “official” for my highly religious mom to see someone in judicial robes officiate the wedding. As a judge, he was very comfortable with the public speaking, he had a lot of scripts to work from and we were allowed to change it as much as we wanted.


In my state, you can go to the courts website and they have lists of judges who will officiate weddings, whether they will travel outside the courthouse to perform the wedding, and contact info. It was so easy and I’d highly recommend it.

I found a pastor to officiate at my wedding who does both religious and non-religious weddings in Virginia. https://www.757weddingpastor.com/ I didn't know him beforehand, but as a storyteller he specializes in making weddings feel more personalized.

Even if you hire someone you don't know, you'll be in communication with them leading up to the wedding will probably be more comfortable with them come wedding day. Also, it's standard etiquette to invite the officiant to the rehearsal dinner (as well as the wedding). That will be another chance to get to know them better!

We used a JP that I found on Facebook after my original JP, who was an old coworker of mine, fell through. We had phone calls and instantly connected, and we wrote the ceremony together. She ended up getting exposed to COVID and we had to switch very last minute, but she matched us with an absolutely wonderful officiant who she knew would accomplish what we wanted in our ceremony and our officiant did so well, people actually thought we all knew each other. I will say though, the officiants I hired and used made officiating weddings their full time job, so they were VERY experienced with doing weddings and putting together ceremonies. Some only do it part time, so if you choose to go the JP route, just make sure you do some interviewing to see if you match up well! We did not have any awkward moments at all during our ceremony.

My best friend is getting ordained online and will be officiating our wedding in May. I love that it will be someone we really know and who knows us officiating our wedding ceremony! ❤️

We personally hired a woman who will be doing a non religious ceremony for us. We video chatted with her and she was lovely. But I do understand not wanting a stranger. My only thing was my fiancés cousin had a family friend so the ceremony and she stumbled over the script and just didn’t give the professional vibe and confidence I know someone who does this for a wedding will have

I would meet with the officiant before we get married to discuss what will be said during the ceremony. I don't care if I know the person marrying us. As long as they legally can do it then I would ddo a little research on the person to see if there is a history worth knowing about. Good or bad...before I commit to anyone specific. I'd wanna know they are on the same page of what we feel is important to include or omit and what they actually plan to do...