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Melinda
Expert March 2022

No pleasing my family

Melinda, on February 22, 2022 at 3:04 PM Posted in Planning 0 9
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This wedding process has been extremely taxing on me and my familial relationships. My parents have told me:
-I’m throwing money away
-I’m selfish for planning a wedding during COVID.
Today I get told that it’s ridiculous that I want the wedding party at the venue by 2 for a 3:30 ceremony time. I explain that I will be putting my dress on at 3 but our photographer will be there doing the guys pictures before the ceremony to get them out of the way. I am told that it’s stupid and way too early. I let them know it’s so I can actually sit down and eat the dinner I paid 4K for. I’m also told that they refuse to ride in the limo with other people. I told them they weren’t invited to ride in the limo as they aren’t staying in the same town the limo is picking up in, like I had requested for the past year.
I’m just so done being b****** at about a wedding they paid exactly 0percent of.
Sorry just needed to rant. I’ve never been so stressed out.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Melinda, on February 23, 2022 at 1:41 PM
  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It is absolutely crazy the way people think they can behave regarding wedding stuff. It isn't at all ridiculous that you want them there at 2! The hour and a half between then and the ceremony will go by soooo quickly! That also gives ample time in case something or someone runs a little behind. You're so close! Keep hanging in there as best as you can. Try to limit contact with them unless absolutely needed and focus on you and your fiancé right now. I know that's easier said than done, but you've got this.

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  • Shannon
    Super July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    How awful. They are being extremely selfish and should be supporting you in your plans.
    If you wait until Covid is over, that may be another few years. It’s not predicted to end until 2025 as per a meeting I was recently part of.
    Life must go on through this. Try to divulge fewer details to be criticized if possible.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Girl I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I totally agree with jessi- 2 o’clock is very reasonable. There’s a ton of pics your photographer has to do & that time flies by! Our timeline started at 2 for a 4 o’clock wedding but I told my family to be there by 130- they are habitually late for everything!
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  • Melinda
    Expert March 2022
    Melinda ·
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    Thank you everyone for your kind responses. They've helped me calm down quite a bit.

    The crazy part in all of this is that we are military and moving right after the wedding again. Chances are they won't even see me for another year after it. I see a lot of posts on here with people and their super supportive parents and it's hard to grasp sometimes what that would be like as its been a very "them" driven agenda for my entire life.

    I spoke to FH and I am just going to distance myself with any wedding talk as much as I can for the next two weeks to stay sane.

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  • Josie
    Dedicated October 2022
    Josie ·
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    Yikes. I'm so sorry your dealing with such selfish people. I've been a bridesmaid a few times before and can't imagine pushing back on arrival time or any other reasonable request from the bride. This day is about YOU and your future husband, people should respect that and listen to your instructions. Stand your ground and best of luck to you!

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Do what works for you and fiancé. Those who are not supportive can decline the invitation and stay home. There is no reason to harass or bully you for your decision of what should be a happy event. Those who love and support you will not say such mean things. Focus on their positive energy and limit the contact from the negativity.
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  • Charlotte
    Dedicated June 2022
    Charlotte ·
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    Ewww eww ewww. We do not like this kind of negativity. Let me first off tell you everything they are saying is wrong. It is not selfish to throw a wedding during COVID, you are not throwing away money and asking them to come ONLY an hour and a half before the ceremony is not ridiculous. Take a deep breath, step away and take some time to treat yourself. You are in the home stretch and by the time you get to that day, this will all be a blip in the past!

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  • A
    Dedicated April 2023
    Ashley ·
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    I understand why you're disapointed when you get negative,unwanted opinions, however you and your fiancé have free reigns since you guys are footing the bill yourselves.
    "get told that it’s ridiculous that I want the wedding party at the venue by 2 for a 3:30 ceremony time." I am wondering whether it's not too late since the girls will have to do their hair & make up. And too early or too late, why the hell do they think you asked them for their opinion??
    "I’m throwing money away" As long as this is YOURS and you are pleasing yourself and your future husband , they can talk all they want.

    They think you're selfish? All the wedding stuff is a selfish thing! The only think that's not in ais the fact of paying for catering, drinks, desserts and a DJ or band if you're having a dancing portion,and maybe an extra entertainment, to feed and entertain your folks. I would reply " All the wedding stuff is selfish so weshould cancel our plans and do a courthouse, an elopment or a Las Vegas ceremony without you guys?

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  • Melinda
    Expert March 2022
    Melinda ·
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    We are not doing hair and makeup for anyone but myself. The girls werent really interested and it was a lot of money.

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