Nightmare Guests

We invited all couples together and allowed all our single guests a plus one, so we didn’t run into any uninvited guests showing up or any guests confused about whether they could bring a date, etc.

There's a couple things you can do.

If they rsvp with more than invite, you call and explain that you can only accommodate those listed on the invitation.

If they show up anyway, you can have security at the entrance with a list of everyone who rsvp'd and the "stranger" will be turned away.

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Thinking of having security turn people away. Its been frustrating because we have been very clear about no plus ones unless we state otherwise or approve of it and guests have gone to the point of even blocking us and unfriending us because we wont allow their cousin or great grandma to come lol! They're acting like they're doing us a favor by showing up when we're already paying for only 300 guests and have spent over 14k for our reception/venue. People tend to forget that they're not the ones paying.

Anyone who replies for more than one guest or who replies in a way that is vague can get a call from you apologizing for any "misunderstanding" but making it clear that the invitation is for those named. I don't personally like the idea of a bouncer unless you really think there will be more than one or two who would have the nerve to show up with uninvited guests. If you've followed up with the likely suspects that seems unlikely.

But the best solution is to avoid relationships with rude and entitled people. If someone is upset and unfriends you they are ultimately doing you a favor.

I’m having the same issue!! If you haven’t sent out invites, say “__ seat(s) reserved in your honor”


I haven’t sent my invites out yet but plan to do that!

I am having this same exact issue and I even put on my invites "Invitation Only. Security at the entrance will be checking ID and an RSVP is needed." People are still texting asking and even RSVP'ing with an additional plus one so frustrating! I agree, we are the ones paying for this and people are not being considerate. This is crazy that this is a norm that people dont understand lol Hope all works out for you! Happy Planning to you!

This happened to my friend at her wedding,there were so many guests that were not invited. Lesson learned because you have to be strict and really know your friends ,Tell them that they are not allowed to being their friends its common sense because you have to pay for all the guests.

You can adjust the wedding culture of your circle by making your event more formal. This will change guest expectations that this event is not a free for all. If your wedding is October, just send Save the Dates now. Official invitations should be sent (and discussed) 6-8 wks beforehand with only the name of guests invited; 8-10 if guest travel is involved. I like the other poster's suggestion of adding "__ seats reserved in your honor". Then you call persons back when they cross out what you write and add people. All married, engaged, cohabitating, and seriously dating couples should be invited together and are not plus ones. You risk offending loved ones by only inviting one half. However, for the truly plus 1s, if someone raises a stink that they, themselves, can't add people, you can tell them, THEY can host a family reunion at another time.

IMO if you really believe you have to go to the extreme of hiring bouncers and posting warning notes on invitations either you should rethink the guest list or the type of wedding you’re hosting.

I’m putting on my invites that they are invited with a plus one.

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I didn't even include that in our invites. On our invites I created a QR code that is to be scanned through a phone and it sends them directly to our wedding website here on wedding wire. There isn't even an option to rsvp for a plus one, people simply search their names and that's how they can rsvp for themselves unless we added a plus one then that would be visible to them as well. Also want to add that we customized wristbands and added them inside of our invitations envelope for however many people they're allowed to bring...if they forget their wristbands we will have more at the door but it is more so for people to have a visual of oh I only received 1 wristband? or 2? then i'm the only one invited or I can bring a plus one etc

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Only reason why we didn't send a save the date and went straight to sending invitations out now is because we are a military family and have family and friends all over...our invitations included a QR code which sends people straight to our wedding website where all the information can be found. We figured we'd save money that way rather than having to pay for save the dates and more shipping costs etc. BUT oh trust me we did give everyone and their partners and children a seat to our wedding. Its friends and coworkers that want to bring their friends or other coworkers who are not invited or "my son's dad" whom we've never met...mind you I have never heard of this man in my life otherwise I would've gladly invited both yet she had the audacity to approached me in a way of "hey I am trying to rsvp for myself and my son's dad but I can only rsvp for myself. fix it now." which I followed with " sorry for the misunderstanding but that is because you were the only one invited. We have a seating chart and are at capacity with our guests/venue now. If you'd like to wait a couple months I can add them if a seat opens up next to you" in which this person goes "okay then take me off because im not going. You have an open seat now to invite someone else." Had another coworker at work approach me and say "you invited my friend and her husband to your wedding but you don't know that WE ALL come as a package deal and wherever my bff goes I GO. so give me an invitation with 2 plus ones." I am not a bridezilla and am very easyyyyy to work with but lately everyone thinks its okay to come at me sideways for MY WEDDING lol! Here's another example, my brothers girlfriend wants to invite her parents and 6 siblings (don't know any of them) and called me names because I told her we have reached our 300 limit of guests and are waiting for rsvp's now..she peaked at our seating chart without me knowing and I was told that I was messed up for sitting her at the same table as my sister in law...news to me but apparently they don't get along! Hoping for a better wedding planning for the next months! As of right now everything is paid for I just need to say yes to the dress

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IMO our decisions should be respected point blank period. Our venue offers security and is already included in our package. We live in Las Vegas and things can get a little crazy and dangerous real quick. We also have a huge family who we prioritize and only invited a few select amount of friends and coworkers so we decided we only wanted people that we know and have a friendship or relationship with to come for the safety of everyone. I also do have an insane ex who could easily show up because god knows how he found out so a bouncer/security is very much needed so that guests who are not invited do not come in.

If guests assume they can bring a plus one or show up with uninvited people, it's super awkward. Setting clear RSVP rules upfront can help, but if it happens, try to handle it discreetly. Politely explain the situation and, if necessary, offer to accommodate if space allows.

What do you do when the nightmare guest is your adult child. My daughter was invited to participate in the wedding as a bridesmaid. Her children were also asked to be in the ceremony. As the wedding date approaches, as each day passes, hostile comments are made. There are hostilities over dress choices for the bridesmaid, the jr. bridesmaid and flower girl. The only thing she hasn't complained about was the ringbearer suit and that is because I haven't picked it yet. Mind you, I have offered to pay for everything and still...nasty dramatic comments. I finally said, hey, you don't have to come, you don't have to participate if it is too stressful for you. She came back with, "I cant believe you don't want me in your wedding"...

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It would work well to start this as a separate topic so some people can share their thoughts solely on this topic.

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Did you consult with her so that the dresses are In a style she likes and is comfortable wearing? What's more important, your vision or your relationship?

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No, it is stressful enough. I pulled the comment when I saw my name. My name is spelled differently so she would recognize it right away. I don't want her infamous over my wedding.

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Security is a different matter. Sometimes venues require it, and sometimes there are situations such as yours where it's truly necessary. I was referring more to checking IDs and invitations at the door simply because you're afraid people will otherwise bring uninvited guests and putting warnings on invitations, not a situation that is a matter of health and safety. Other than for a celebrity or public figure, if I had to go to these lengths I'd reconsider the guest list.

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You can probably request that your screenname be changed. I still see your comment, though.