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Dedicated July 2021

Need advice please

MaryElena, on April 9, 2021 at 7:27 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 11
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Our wedding is 3 months away! Some members of FH’s family have already decided not to come but invitations haven’t been mailed yet. Our wedding is in NYC. His family is from Florida. In March, guests were required to get tested or bring their completed vaccine card. We understand that getting inoculated is a personal choice. They won’t take a vaccine and getting tested seemed like an inconvenience. On April 2, guidelines were revised. We’re only inviting 100 ppl so they’ll no longer be required to participate in testing or vaccine guidance. However, a wellness coordinator will assist everyone with temperature checks and a short questionnaire. We also need to provide a spreadsheet with guest information so our event can be registered with the NYC Department of Health. Some family members will still not attend. FH is disappointed but we’ll be sending them invitations anyway. We’ve been planning our special day for 2 years. We’ve mutually decided that postponing is not an option. We hope our decision to move forward in spite of their possible absence is not offensive or disrespectful. What should we do?


Best wishes to all 2021 brides!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Chelsea G, on April 9, 2021 at 3:03 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Your decision to move forward is absolutely not offensive or disrespectful. People are always- even when there’s no a pandemic- going to find a reason to possibly not attend. As long as you’ve both come to terms with that, move ahead with your planning and enjoy your wedding!
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Have you thought about offering virtual for them? Their concerns for not wanting to go are valid, because all of these guidelines are big hassles for your guest. We are doing Lovecast app g FH or virtual. So far we have only had two regrets from our RSVPs and it was my FH‘s cousin and his wife. We are totally OK with it. There could be 1 million reasons why they don’t want to attend.They also did not want to watch virtually which is their choice and we are totally OK with it. We only have a handful of others that have to do virtual, but everyone else so far will be in attendance. I wouldn’t focus on the ones that don’t want to be there, I would just focus on the ones that do want to be there, because they are the ones that matter the most
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You already decided not to postpone. I’m not sure what you mean by what should you do?
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Agree with Caytlyn, it feels like you want us to tell you that FH's family is being ridiculous. Fwiw I don't know that they are. The testing for out of state guests can be complicated, especially because there is often a 48-72 hour window required. If they don't want to fill out a health questionnaire to go to an event, that's their prerogative. I would probably do it for family, but I understand why people like to keep their medical info private or might be uncomfortable having their info put in a state database. It's a bummer, but it seems like there is nothing you can do
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    Hi MaryElena! I’m sorry to hear as I totally understand the struggle!! I don’t think it is offensive at all to continue with your wedding and following the mandatory state guidelines which is out of your control. Personally, I would happily take a test, temperature and complete the questionnaire to support my family at their wedding. For me, it’s family - that simple. ❤️
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I agree with this! Offering the option of virtual attendance would be a great compromise for those who do not want to attend in-person. And I also agree that you should focus on the people who are there, and not waste time worrying about those who aren’t.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Go forward. It has always been hosts who set conditions. It always has been up to guests to decide to accept an invitation or not, for whatever reason. Trying to persuade others rarely changes minds, does cause fights, that leave scars. Although from this time, bride's position, people think, why won't they do this for the most important day of my life, later on most say it isn't. And other family take the long view: family miss family weddings for all kinds of silly things, like petty fights, and think it not such a big deal.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I agree with this. Just move forward with your planning and maybe take comfort in the fact that unvaccinated, uncareful people won't be traveling all the way from FL to NY!

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  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
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    Coming from someone in PA, i don't blame the family members in florida for NOT coming, NY is considered the WORST as far as covid and has been the whole time around here... I would not be going out of state at all. why should I quarantine for 2 weeks before and then 2 weeks leaving states after and miss all that work just to go ONE DAY for a wedding?!

    I would offer a virtual or video recorded version of your wedding for them. if they are working, that's a lot to ask for time off of work....

    I have a cousin in Illinois who won't come to my wedding due to him being a professor in a college and doesn't want to quarantine for one day, around finals beginning of may... i don't blame him at all.

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  • Gabby
    Devoted October 2021
    Gabby ·
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    It sounds like they're not going to come no matter what. Many people are set in their ways when it comes to covid. They won't make up, get tested, or get vaccinated. What can you do 🤷‍♀️ set up a live stream and call it a day
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  • Chelsea G
    Devoted June 2021
    Chelsea G ·
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    I think during these times it's hard to blame people on whether or not they are going to attend a wedding. If their reason for not coming was not COVID then it would be a different story. It is your day and your wedding. There is nothing you can do and there is no guarantee postponing another couple months or even a year will make it better for them. Like others said if they really want to see then you can give them the livestream option.

    Personally, I've already postponed twice and I'm not doing it again. I don't care who comes as long as my/our parents, siblings, & grandparents can be there..

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