My future brother in law hates me and is upset he isn't invited to the wedding

Hello all so there is definitely some family drama with this one so I will try to explain as easily as I can since this whole situation has been very stressful for me and my future husband.


Upon meeting my brother in law the first time who isy future husbands brother I introduced myself and was very kind and he didn't acknowledge as a person and looked at my future husband and said which one is this? ( I was informed his brother was diagnosed with PTSD from war, bi polar disorder, amongst other mental disorders and has a drinking problem). The second time I encountered spending time with my brother in law their dad was visiting and we all spent time together at a condo he was renting. Instead of getting to know me he made horrible jokes and proceeded to tell me that I age like sour milk. My future husband and I had a get together at my mother in laws house and he threatened to shoot up the place and kill everyone. When we got engaged all he could say was well s#$t no congrats of any kind. Most recently he told my future husband due to his military training he gets a bad feeling about me and if I'm the person he thinks I am he will kill me. That being said after long conversations with my future husband we have decided not to invite his brother to the wedding considering how vile and evil he is when drinks and the things he says to others. We don't want to have to worry about fights and babysitting anyone. We gave his brother the news as kind as we possibly could he said F you, F her, and F the whole family down there. Initially mother in law supported our decision and understood considering she has had issues with him in the past as well. After she talked with my brother in law she now says she sees both sides and doesn't know how my future husband would go forward with his brother after not inviting his brother to the wedding. I was then told by my future husbands step father that after talking to my brother in law there is something about me that triggers him and reminds him of someone in his past but for me not to take it personal. My future mother in law asked me my thoughts and what I thought of everything and I explained how I was feeling and she had no response or sense of comfort of any kind.
Given this dynamic I feel like I am in the wrong and I'm being made to be a bad person. My future husband has made it clear to his family regardless of an apology from his brother he will not be invited. Should we just invite his brother to avoid any further manipulation or problems or should we stand our ground and not invite him? Personally I am genuinely afraid of him and I'm trying to think of all of our guests as a whole. My family also prefers that I'm not around him given his mental problems because they want to make sure I'm safe.