My friend wants me to be in her wedding that is a week before mine. Do i say yes?

Just because someone asks you to be in their bridal party, doesn't mean you're obligated to say 'yes'. Also, it sounds like you aren't 100% sure if she's going to ask you because you talked about it in the past, so it's possible she changes her mind.

If you don't think you can handle the last minute details of your wedding AND be her bridesmaid and add on the expenses from that, then it's perfectly fine to decline her offer.

If it were me, I'd accept, but that's because I know I could handle it. My thinking is that her wedding is one day, and being held a week before mine, so any last details of my wedding can hold off for one day. BUT I know not everyone thinks like that, and that's fine!

When/If your friend asks you, you could simply say that it's an honor to be asked and considered to be in her bridal party, but that you don't think you'd be able to handle the extra expenses and duties while preparing for your own wedding. I'd let her know that you don't want you prioritizing your wedding, possibly leading to you not putting your whole heart into hers.

I personally think that sounds extra fun and exciting but that’s just me. If you feel like you might be overwhelmed them don’t go it. Or maybe you could just talk to her about your availability and how you might not be able to commit to all of the extras. I’m sure she’ll understand seeing as how she will be under the same pressures as you.

I was waaaay stressed and busy with my wedding so the week before would be a big ole’ “no” for me, along with all the extra responsibilities/events (I’d like the flexibility of going to the bridal shower but not her to be super upset if I couldn’t make it, or if I left early, etc).

You don't have to accept. It's nice that she asked you but if you don't think you can be there for her like you want to because of your wedding, then do her the favor and turn her down that way she can ask someone else instead of trying to replace you later.

You definitely don’t have to accept. I think that’s a very valid reason not to accept “I don’t think I will be able to handle the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid and plan my wedding and I really don’t want to end up disappointing you. I’d be super happy to celebrate your wedding as a guest”
But like others have said, this is all your choice. If you get stressed easily and think it will be too much, then don’t do it.
If you think you can still handle it, then accept the invitation. Personally, I could be a bridesmaid for the wedding day because it’s just one day and I’d still have a whole week before my wedding for last minute things, but I’d be worried about bridal shower/bachelorette party as some brides get so offended if their friends can’t make it

I would forget about your wedding for a minute and figure out the answer you’d give based on relationship alone with no consideration for schedule. Would you otherwise absolutely say yes, she’s a dear friend and it would mean a lot to you both? Or would you be on the fence?
If the first answer is yes, figure it out. Will it be a bit of a challenge? Absolutely. Is it doable with a little extra planning and coordination? Absolutely.

My bachelorette party ended up being the weekend before my wedding. I was a little concerned ahead of time that I would be so busy and stressed out, but actually it was a really welcome break and relaxation period where I could forget about wedding prep for a minute and just breathe and enjoy. We did it this way to accommodate my cross country bridesmaid so that she could be a part of it. It was worth it a million times over to have my dearest friend present. I had to be a little extra organized to take a break for that weekend, but I managed.
So if you want to be there for your friend, go for it, but also be open about expectations. Let her know if you think you won’t be able to be involved in every nitty gritty detail, set up , pre-events etc.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you for the advice! I don't think I'm as concerned about her wedding day, because you are right, I can forget about my wedding planning for one day. I think I'm more concerned about pre wedding events and if our showers will align the same weekend and other things. And I'm not sure how involved she would want me in helping with her wedding. So it's more the bridesmaid duties than the actual day I am concerned about.

View Quoted Comment

That's really good advice! thanks! I should be more thinking of them as separate events, which they are. I think I'm more concerned about how involved she would want me in pre wedding events and planning than the actual wedding day. But like you said, I could let her know that I probably can't help with all of that extra stuff.

Thank you!!

It's all up to you! Maybe you can have a conversation with her and ask her what she expects from you if you were to say yes especially when your wedding will be a week right after hers. You definitely don't want to overwhelm yourself or stress yourself out that last week. So, talk it out with her and be honest. Just let her know that you would love to, but you are also worried because of this and that. Therefore, what compromise can you guys come up with where you're not overwhelmed and she's not depending on you on everything.

View Quoted Comment I would recommend having that discussion with her if she ends up asking you to be a bridesmaid. Be honest and say exactly what you’ve just said. That you want to know what her expectations are of you, especially in terms of bridal events or having to plan/make decorations.
You have an excuse that most people should be understanding of! If I were your friend I would be completely fine just having you there by my side on my wedding day and not at all the pre-wedding events.

My husband and 1 of his groomsman did this.

my husband was in his wedding too and his wedding was a week before ours!

the key to this is making sure you're fully aware of all the dates and commitments. for instance ok this is when my rehearsal dinner is, this is when my bachelor party is, etc. so that's how they were able to manage being in each other's weddings

View Quoted Comment If she asks you to be a bridesmaid, I would bring this up. Honestly, bridesmaids shouldn't really have much involvement in the wedding planning itself. For my wedding, I would maybe ask my MOH what she thought of a few centerpiece ideas here or there, but mostly planning was between my husband and myself, although our moms loved talking wedding as well lol, so they were a bit more involved because they wanted to be. My bridal party threw me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, but that was what they wanted to do and not something I asked of them. Also, 2/4 were out of state, so I imagine they weren't super involved with the hands on planning of those events. In reality, there should not be that much you need to do as a bridesmaid, especially the week of her wedding, other than maybe a rehearsal day before and all the events days (getting ready, wedding itself, etc.).