My first, his third. Help.

You've kissed other people before, was it still special when you kissed your boyfriend for the first time? If you've been intimate with others in the past, was it still special when it was with him for the first time? What about moving in together or taking vacations together? Having experiences with people in the past doesn't make future experiences with your partner any less special and I think that your proposal and wedding will be the same way.

If you are upset about him experiencing all the wedding things before you, I don't see why that would make a difference whether it was one wedding or two. You knew that he had been married to #2, so surely he had done all that with her too?

Personally I don't think I would feel comfortable being someone's third, fourth, etc. spouse. It would concern me that something was wrong there - judgment, communication, something. Marriage is a big decision, as is divorce! How soon did he marry #2, how long were they married, how long have you been dating, etc.? If he divorced early 2014, then that is 6 years that he met, married, and divorced someone else and has now met and decided he wants to marry you. That would concern me.

I do see why you want to have the wedding firsts with someone but he is not the one to do that with. And you can't really control what his cousins do, if they got married really young (like 18) his cousins probably knew her themselves.

My FH was also married before me once. But that hasn't tarnished any excitement on either of our sides. If anything, I was probably more worried about that prior to our engagement/ early on in our relationship. But that never even crosses either of our minds at this point. It is a new beginning for everyone.

We are not super close to any of our cousins, so maybe I have a different perspective. But, it's just the cousins. Who cares if they follow her and like her stuff? The important part is that your FH isn't doing that and it's awesome that he is standing up for you and asking them to stop. Because my FH was married before me, I also face/faced the issue of having to prove myself to his family... I think that's just natural unfortunately. They want to make sure their brother/cousin/son is taken care of and loved how they want him to be. Like how your family would want for you. With 2 divorices under his belt, I think any family would be on edge and extra critical of another woman. As long as they're not being nasty towards you and your FH is supporting you and standing up for you and you both know you love each other and are "the one", then eventually it will pass as your relationship progresses.

I believe that marriage is a sacred vow and I understand that sometimes there are reasons that people need to separate... But TWICE? Personally I couldn't marry someone who already abandoned two people he already swore forever to! I would just feel like I was the next future ex-wife lol

So although I understand your hold-ups I will say this. We have also been with other people and tried different relationships. Every step he takes with you will be a first time. Don't compare your relationships to his past. You aren't the exes look at it differently you MUST be SPECIAL that after 2 WRONG times he has found the ONE and wants to try again with you because you are special to him. He sees something different in you. He hasn't given up on love and neither should you. Celebrate your Love for one another, understand that you are blessed you found your forever and it dint take a lifetime. Don't rain on your own parade you can't change the past but you can make sure that everyday in you guys future is a new day.

I'm so sorry you are going through this and would feel similarly if I were in your shoes. I'm sorry, I have no advice, but I feel for you!

Your feelings are totally valid! It does sound like this will be a first for him, though--a healthy marriage! If he's been cheated on twice and bossed around and manipulated, he probably has been struggling with a lot. It sounds like you'll be the only healthy wife/marriage he'll have! You'll be the one to show him true partnership and love; I think that's really beautiful!