Mothers-in-law

When my wife came out, her mother kicked her out of her house and said some awful things to her, so it's been hard for me to maintain respect for her from the beginning. For a while we were cordial and would pretty much say hi and bye when we had to see each other. The week of our wedding, she told someone that she wished my wife was marrying her (gay) bridesman instead of me, so any hope of a relationship pretty much went out the window from there. I could list 100 other awful things that she's said and done, but this is a good start lol.

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Ugh, the close mindedness is disgusting. If my MIL or even my mom reacted that way about our wedding, I am not sure I would be able to have any type of relationship with them, or even a desire for a relationship with them. I have an uncle (through marriage) who was not a fan of our same sex wedding. I told him not to worry, he wouldn't be invited due to his negative attitude . His wife (my aunt) and my cousins came and enjoyed themselves while he sat at home.

My FMIL and I have a great relationship so far at least lol. There hasn't been any problems in the 4 years of my fiance and I being together.

View Quoted Comment Girl I'm sorry you're dealing with all that! In true southern manner, bless her misunderstood heart.


My mil is an amazing lady, and we are very alike. Which is funny because my husband is a lot like his dad. We actually are fairly close, and she designed the background for our seating chart. And tbh, she wasn't bad about wedding planning at all. I really lucked out, but my husband is the black sheep and they were just glad he was getting married!

My husband lost both of his parents when he was really young so I have no in-laws and I’m very sad about that. I hear so many horror stories about those relationships but I really wish I had that opportunity.

I have an OK relationship with my fiance's mom. She's not someone I would go to for advice, but when I'm around her, I don't mind interacting with her. Wedding planning made my relationship with her a little tougher at first, because she wanted to know every detail (including details we hadn't even started working on yet) and it stressed me out to deal with all the questions, but as time went on, things got better. My fiance has a good relationship with my mom and my family in general, since they've all been very welcoming to him.

I get along pretty good with my FMIL. She's very bossy, but I kinda laid the law down early on as it relates to her son and her grandson (my future step-son). And since then it's been OK. Every now and then she tries and I kindly remind her that I'm perfectly fine and in control. And I should mention it's killed her not being a part of the wedding planning process and not knowing what's going on, LOL... But, it's worked out very well for me and my FH keeping her at bay.

Otherwise we get along very well, she's very old school but at the same time she is the matriarch of the family so I have to respect that. She avoids all things negative (as it relates to family matters - if you don't talk about it, it didn't happen) and I'm one to confront head on. I don't like there to be any question as to where I stand and what I believe in.

I love her for her quirkiness and our relationship works well.

I think we have a good one but we are not close. She lives in a different state. My FH is not close with his intermediate family and partially I can see why but I also encourage him to be closer. He is stubborn so I cannot make him do what he wants. Luckily his family has always been nice to me even when we were dating. He is white and I am black so that could have gone the other way. I will say I think our relationship is good because she lives far away lol. I would love to have his family there at our minimony but he does not want eyes a lot of eyes on him. We did tell them our plan and I do plan to share video and pictures with them.

I'm not super close to her but we get along. I try not to sweat the small stuff, pick my battles and just remain positive. Whenever there is an issue, I leave it to my FH to confront his famiky. Blood confronts blood is the best in law advice I have received.

We had some hiccups in the past mostly bc she was easily influenced by her insecure son (my future BIL), but as time passed she saw that he embellished stories about me and flat out told lies.

Wedding planning has not done anything to our relationship. She never showed any interest nor asked any questions about the wedding. I will admit that my own mom hasn't shown any interest in the wedding either.

I have a great relationship with my in-laws. I have known them since 1993 when FH and I were in Junior High and we have always maintained a good relationship. They do not have a good relationship with their other Daughter-in-law so I think that is part of it.


Also, my FH has been in a wheelchair his entire life so I believe some part of them are just very great full that he found someone at all. So now they know and trust that their son is in good hands and will not be alone.
We have done most of the planning ourselves so his parents have not really interfered. They want us to do what we want and are just excited and happy for us.

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Has she been super involved in your wedding planning?

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I've always heard men marry women that remind them of their mothers! It looks like that holds true in your situation. That is awesome that she was helpful in your planning!

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That is so sad. I can't imagine the loss of a parent. Do you have a relationship with any of his other family members?

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My MIL got on my last nerve during wedding planning. She kept forgetting it was not her wedding. So I feel your pain there.

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Bossy is the worst. But it's good you've been able to make the relationship work.

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No my mom and stepmom have pretty much taken over lol. My FMIL just moved from a different state at the end of July so we would only see her every few months. She pretty much leaves the planning to me and I DEFINITELY appreciate it lol

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Having your in-laws further away is always a plus . Mine live about 30 minutes from us so we see them fairly often.

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I agree with blood confronts blood. That is how we do things in our house as well. During wedding planning, when my MIL was taking over certain aspects, I let my wife know she needed to nip that in the bud .

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That is great that you guys have a good relationship. They probably realize was a great and strong woman you are to love your fiancé despite any challenges!

I kind of feel like I got the MIL jackpot, but I also started dating her son when I was 16 so I spent a lot of time at her house when we were younger. She's also known me through every phase of my life, so I feel like that makes her feel more like a mom, too.