Mother-in-law blues

It took a while for me to really develop a relationship with mine but during wedding planning we weren’t seeing eye to eye on some things

View Quoted Comment My mother-in-law tried to control my husband and I when we first started dating. She tried to take our money and make me feel like I owed her something because I was dating her son. I showed her that wasn’t happening and that I don’t owe her nothing. I didn’t have no more problems out of her after that. She talks about me to different family members and it always get back to me. But to my face she play like she likes me.

View Quoted Comment Atleast you can talk to yours. Mine nosey and tries to go talk about my husband and I to other people and it gets back to us.

So my future MIL is a real piece of work. Like treats her son like crap. Nice enough to us when we’re there but generally speaking she ignores him and only messages him to unload all her drama. And that’s being polite And abbreviated.
While I’d be sad for him if she doesn’t come, part of me would be relieved to avoid her drama. I’ve already decided which groomsman is in charge of her and our wedding isn’t until late November. I haven’t even had a chance to ask her to look for a dress, preferably in burgundy.
I’m not wasting my time stressing on her. I chose your son. It’s a shame she never chooses him.

View Quoted Comment That’s how my MIL is... She have a lot of drama with her and she is real jealous of me and my husband relationship.. I can’t with her. It’s a waste of time to deal with MIL’s like that. In my case mine act like she likes me. They make everything about them and how they think things should go. So, I know the feeling .

Can definitely relate my MIL is rude to me whenever her son my FH lets her know we are not seeing eye to eye. My thing is why are you being nasty when you clearly do not know the whole story. Like today I went and personally gave her an invitation and she literally slams it on the table and says “oh there’s still a wedding, I don’t need a invitation” and proceeds to tell me how bad I need counseling before marriage!! (Don’t get me wrong I had to have a conversation with FH about talking to his mom about me because clearly she isn’t the answer) and then she had the nerve to buy a whole flower Girl dress 4 days prior to this interaction today for my FH niece without showing me and gets mad because I told her I will pick the dresses and handle it. I’m just done with that woman because if it isn’t her way she doesn’t want nothing to do with you.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry, you gotta go through that before your wedding but you keep standing your ground with her and let her know she isn’t in charge .

We get along fine but mostly because I dont say out loud when I disagree with her lol which is pretty frequently. If I did then we wouldnt get along. She is just very judgmental and gossipy which I cant stand but she doesnt try to meddle in our lives or anything

I think a large percentage of wife/MIL relationships are cordial, at best.

There are a lot of weird, subtle power struggles that guys aren't always aware of. I think it's more common with men whose mothers are used to being in control and they don't cope well with losing that control.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you on this.

We get along fine because I keep my mouth shut when I disagree with her, which is often, and I don't tell her any of my personal business. We had a rocky road in the past bc I kept opening my mouth and she would repeat negative comments others have said about me. I asked her, "why are you telling me this?" Then told her to please stop.


Our last conflict was xmas 2019. I have decided to not hug my FH's older brother because he would talk bad about me behind my back to others and tell fabricated stories and be disrespectful towards me. I stopped hugging him a year ago, and when he steps in for a hug, i take a step back and reach out my hand for a handshake. Apparantly he whined and complained to his mommy that I'm being mean because I won't hug him. Mind you im in my late 20s and my FH's older brother is in his mid 40s!!!! My fmil told me at xmas 2019 that I was not being a good Christian bc I won't forgive her son. Then told me that I was causing problems for everyone because I refuse to hug them. She told me this in front of everyone at xmas! I was so embarrassed. Then she tells me to hug her son.
A few weeks later I sent her a text telling her not to do that anymore and that I don't have to hug her son. I have a sister and my FH never hugs her and my sister who is 20 years younger than her son does NOT cry and whine that my fh doesn't hug her. I then reminded her that my FH and I have spent sooo much money and time on her 6yo granddaughter who her whiny son (her father) refuses to raise and her whiny son has not thanked us NOT ONCE. And for him to fabricate stories and gossip behind my back is uncalled for especially after I've done so much for the daughter he abandonded and left for her to raise at age 67! She never texted back and we never had any issues after that 😊

My MIL has driven me crazy since day one. She refuses to pay for anything for the wedding but wants to invite her own guests that my husband doesn't even know or heard of. She hates my invitations so she is trying to send out her own so that her "friends" can be invited and know about the wedding. My MIL and FIL both chastised me in front of the entire family because i drink tea and Dr. Pepper and have multiple (but small) ear piercings. Whatever I wear, say, eat, drink or do is not good enough and they make it very clear verbally no matter who is in the room. My MIL refuses to acknowledge me as his wife and will ignore whatever i say because "she's his mom and knows him best". She has bad relationships with all of her kids because of the things she has done to them and their spouses. I am no longer able to be around the family alone because of the things they say to me without my husband present. My husband and I both are planning to move away from both families soon so we don't have to deal with them as much and that way they aren't up in our business all the time. I have decided to be more brave when I am around them by eating and drinking whatever I want and it's bothering my MIL that im not who she wanted her son to marry haha. It's going to be rough dealing with the in-laws