Money Problems/ Fiancee issue

I personally would just walk away from the deposits and have a smaller wedding.

My partner isn’t the best savor, so I opted for a microwedding. Thank goodness, we’ll only be spending about 1.8 percent of our combined annual income.

That is what I'm thinking right about now the thing is me and my fiancée makes the same amount of money and I have more bills than him. I keep telling him I feel like he don't want it and if so just say it I'm not doing this alone. I have save almost half of the total budget alone with the 1% from him. I'm over it to tell you the truth I'm thinking about calling the whole wedding off. He wanted this wedding I always said I didn't want another wedding I been married before I knew what it takes to pay for one. He insisted and I feel screwed over.

At this point if it going cost more than you would actually lose if FH doesn't step up with his portion I say go for the smaller wedding. Good luck with everything sending you positive vibes and hugs I know it can be frustrating because most woman are natural planners and some guys wait until the 24 hr to get things done.

Do you pay the bills equally? Or everything separate? My FH makes about 10K more a year than me and so what we decided to do is this.. I only give him $300 from my check, and the rest I keep, for my expenses and wedding savings/expenses. He’s currently paying all of the bills and I’m the one saving.. all of our finances are together.. we have 2 houses (3 shortly), cars, credit cards etc.. so the way I see it, this is a partnership, what’s his is mine and what’s mine is his.. so it doesn’t matter how the our money gets split, we are still equally contributing to our future. If y’all have everything separate and the deposits into the wedding account are how it is then I’d have a serious talk with him..

To me this goes way beyond what kind of wedding you will have. If he is not contributing to the wedding, without any objective reasons & you say you have more bills than him, so sounds like he’s not contributing equally to joint bills either, and you are both making same amounts of money, that’s a real issue. Did you try having a serious talk with him & make it clear that you are not paying for the wedding by yourself & that his behavior shows that he doesn’t care about it & more importantly doesn’t look at your relationship as a partnership, at least when it comes to finances? I’m marriage you should be a team.
I would personally not be planning any wedding until you can come to a mutual understanding & agreement on this.
Hope you resolve this & feel better about it soon!

View Quoted Comment This. Hon this goes way beyond the wedding. What is he doing with his money and can he do basic things like save, stick to a budget, spend wisely? Those things need to be discussed before anything else. Does he spend it all as soon as he gets it? Does he put any away at all? How are you going to work out finances after the wedding? Marriage is a partnership and if this is happening now it's not going to stop after the wedding - no matter the size ou have.

We pay the house bills about half and half well you may pay a little more personal bills like or credit cards, car notes, car insurance, and student loans are paid separate. he saves that's the thing he say he like to see all his money at once in his account that he " Got me" When it come to money you do give a lot. But he is show dragging with giving for the wedding. He usually the one to pay for vacations all the dates and dinner and lunch I don't ever really pay for food. He just recently had to get a new car but, I keep asking and all he say is he Got me what ever that mean.

My fiancé was stressing me out also by not giving me the monthly wedding savings on time. He would always say don’t worry, it’s all going to work out. But I had all the vendor contracts in my name so I was just anxious on if he really has the money or not. I finally had to sit him down and ask him what the real issue was. He felt that he wanted more control over the wedding finances since all the money was in my account (but still doesn’t want to help out with the planning part lol). So we decided to open our first joint account. Now he gives me the money no problem and he doesn’t hear my mouth.

I think you should sit down with him and lay it all like you have here, if you haven’t already. I know it’s really frustrating when it feels like you’re the only one putting towards the wedding. My FH’s grandparents are generously giving us a chunk of money for the wedding. The plan was to not use it to pay for the wedding but use it to pay off debt. Turns out he used some of it to buy his suit etc. he didn’t hide it from me but it still kinda frustrated me that I’ve been using my paychecks to pay for wedding things in the attempt to have that money to pay off debt. I’ve let it go. He’s the main income for our family and he always provides no questions asked. But I definitely think this is something you both need to talk about now. Planning a wedding is kind of a glimpse into what’s ahead when dealing with problems, finances, whatever it may be. You shouldn’t be feeling this way and he needs to give you more than “I got you” I hope he hears you out and comes around. The big day is for him too and he should be equally invested.

This sounds like a much bigger issue than just he doesn't want to pay for the wedding. First of all, finances are one of the biggest fights every couple will have. I would have a long serious talk with him about stepping up and taking financial responsibility. Ask yourself if it's just the wedding he doesn't want to help pay for, or can you think of other scenarios too? Find out before you get married what his spending habits are, what his debts are, and basically try to decide how you will budget once you are married. Trust me, please don't find out the hard way and come home one day to your power being turned off because the bill wasn't paid. It's hard to discuss finances with someone, but it's very important you set standards before you get married.

I would suggest looking into the Dave Ramsey's Baby Step program. It's a great budgeting tool rather it's for personal finances or mutual finances. It gets you on the same page financially and trust me, you want that before you get married not having to figure it out after.

Hey! Thanks for sharing.
please consider marriage counseling. Not for anything “wrong”, but to prepare your union for the future. It’s the ultimate investment into your own relationship!!

In Christian marriage counseling, a pastor can explain the roles of husband and wife in God’s eyes. It can open both of your eyes to understand and have a change of heart. A good program will show you a lot of diff topics and help you talk through them! (Finances, selflessness, honesty, generosity) things to think about.

In non faith based counseling, you can learn the same topics without the Biblical background to back it up.

keep trying to talk to him. Maybe you can view each others accounts, and clear up any mysteries. There are diff ways to do this married thing!

Thank you!

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I'm late to this party, but I think ladies need to hold their partners accountable. This person should be your partner, not a passive attendant at this event that is supposed to be for the two of you. Even if it's not "his thing" your partner should show respect that it's important to you, and put forth an effort.

For @Lashell, what reasoning or "excuse" has he provided for not following through on a promise, being true to his word? It's a red flag that he can't honor this commitment he made to you, before you ask him to make an even larger one. Just a moment of pause...

Wow, your dedication to saving for your wedding is truly admirable! It's great that you're putting in the extra effort with overtime to contribute to the wedding fund. It's understandable that you would want both partners to be equally committed to this financial goal. Try to use coupons from https://www.couponingbird.com/ they provide amazing deals and discounts