Mom’s boyfriend??

Well guests are allowed a plus 1 if they are in a relationship. I see your point but I do not feel that this is a hill to die on and have issues with your mom. I would forewarn your dad but I think it is fair that you all meet him prior to the wedding (not required because do you know the partners of all your guests??) and I would tell your mom that before he comes to such an important event you would like to meet him. That's just me. Even if it is via zoom. She does have the right to move on and your dad should understand. Either way even if you cannot meet the guy I would let your mom have this one and maybe just give your stepdad a heads up but he may realize she has moved on. They can both be amicable for your day.

View Quoted Comment Thank you

So I’ve been in a very similar situation. My mother and father divorced 5 years ago and my mom is recently engaged and my father didn’t know about it (because why should he?). But my mother and father had a tumultuous relationship before this and they kind of got back together before breaking up again, so I knew my dad might take it hard if my mom just showed up with some guy. So I asked her if she would mind telling my father about her new fiancé and she said she would absolutely do that for me. Turns out, my dad took it fine and everything is okay now. That will only work if they still get along...but can you ask your mother to tell your father about this new guy? I agree with you, your wedding is not the correct time or place for something like this to happen, but at the same time, is it worth it to you to have her be upset with you if you say he can’t go. I would at least see if she’s willing to talk to your father so he’s not blindsided and take it from there. Just remember that it’s YOUR day so you shouldn’t be worrying about meeting and spending quality time with him during that time. Make sure she understands that too!

This is going to be against the grain, I wouldn't allow it. Its not fair? Um you can survive a few hours without your bf. Why didn't she introduce him before to you all if they had been together for ONE year before COVID? Did you even meet him through video chat yet?


My mom has been with her bf for 8 years and he's not welcome at my wedding. Love him but he has no filter. I don't need to hear how horrible I look on my wedding day or any other negative comments

As your mom she should get a plus one but...do you think this relationship will have longevity? He’s in a different country and you haven’t met him yet...it may fizzle out.
But...if she wants him to come, he can be her guest. Not any sort of parental role.

How much of a relationship do they have? It is hard to answer not knowing. If he has been a corresponding or virtual boyfriend more than in her everyday life, I would consider that different from an established, committed relationship that routinely calls for a pass. Was he living here before, or will he again?

View Quoted Comment This is great advice! Thank you

View Quoted Comment Oh wow! Yeah I wouldn’t want any negative comments either. They had done the long distance for almost a year I think. And she goes and visits him every now and then. I honestly don’t agree with it but I accept it. He can’t travel to the states and with everything going on I am not traveling to mee him (my mom has asked me to).

View Quoted Comment I don’t see it lasting, unless she marries him and gets him documents to come to the states.. I don’t agree with it but I accept it. I think it’s been almost a year of their long distance relationship and she goes and visits him every now and then.

View Quoted Comment So they met in Belize (that’s where we’re from) when she went to see family about 1 year or more ago. And they started talking over the phone and so on. I guess they became a thing and so she has been visiting him often throughout their relationship so it’s a long distance thing. Never met him or spoken to him. I don’t agree with it but I accept it. She says she’s in love and what not. He can’t travel to the states and since the wedding is in Cancun she thinks he can just drive and meet all of hair kids as well.

View Quoted Comment And Mom would not be happy with having the wedding, and then a day or so later having a gathering there just to meet her new beau? Without your Dad or his relatives, but where it is all about them, and you can all have hours to talk, without your inconvenience of a wedding happening in the background?