Masks During Ceremony

This is exactly how my FH and I feel and we are having the same issue. We live in a small area with very low cases as well. I do not think you are being unreasonable especially if it is outdoors.

I think I'm confused, is she refusing to wear a mask or is she asking everyone else to wear a mask because she doesn't want to?

"One of my best friends (who is a bridesmaid) is refusing to not wear a mask the entire time. She is also asking that if me and the other girls are going to be staying in the same cabin that everyone else wear a mask. "

So she wants to wear one for the ceremony, but not the cabin? I guess I'm not sure what the problem is.

I would not care if everyone wore a mask to our outdoor wedding, I'm leaving it in their hands. It sucks, I hate the thought, but I want others to feel comfortable and safe.

Same boat! I did order masks for my bridal party from Azazie that match the colors of the dresses and ties/ pocket squares. Everyone is pretty much in agreement that they will not wear masks during the ceremony and for pictures. Except one groomsman, but honestly I don't care. I think that once the day gets here he will probably go with the flow and at least not wear it then.

Honestly I would just let her wear it. I would much rather her be comfortable

I totally understand you feeling frustrated about only one member of your bridal party wanting to wear a mask during pictures. However, when it comes to somebody’s health and well-being, you really cannot request they do things that they feel directly threatens it. I think your only options at this point are to either allow her to wear the mask, or request that she attend your wedding as a guest rather than a bridesmaid. Personally, I would just allow her to wear the mask. She is obviously one of your closest friends who you care about, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked her to be in the wedding. I would think that friendship would be more important than some photographs. Plus, you never know, once she gets there and the rest of the wedding party is not wearing a mask, maybe she will decide not to wear one also. 🤷🏼‍♀️

View Quoted Comment

She wants to wear a mask the entire time. Ceremony, pictures, etc. I have just asked her to not wear it during the ceremony and pictures. Every other time is fine. She is also asking all the bridesmaids wear one when we are in our cabin. She is the only one wanting to wear one. The others do not plan on it. Sorry if I caused some confusion!

View Quoted Comment

I know it's awful, I'd let her wear it if it makes her feel more comfortable. Additionally you can ask her to step down if she feels that uncomfortable and attend as a guest?

Let her wear it. The irony is that wearing a mask protects others, not the person wearing it, but I wouldn't push her out of her comfort zone.


Even though you have low numbers, having multiple people from different households stay in the same space is setting up potential for a super spread.
I'd nicely ask if she'd feel more comfortable attending as a guest so she doesn't have to worry about the masks and cabin. Personally, I'd take the mask off for the ceremony and pictures, since they're brief and there is less opportunity for droplet spread, but I wouldn't be staying at the cabin.

This would frustrate me too. I'd let her wear the mask for the ceremony but maybe have her seated somewhere where she wouldn't show up in all of the photos. For the photos, ask if she would be comfortable taking it off for one or two shots, and ask your photographer if there is a way to get some photos with people spaced out. If neither of those is possible, take some with her in a mask, and take some with the rest of the bridal party. You deserve some photos without masks if that's what you want.

What tripped me up a bit is the part..."She is also asking that if me and the other girls are going to be staying in the same cabin that everyone else wear a mask." I would put my foot down and tell her she's welcome to do whatever she wants, but she is not going to dictate what you or any of the other girls do. If she wants her choices respected, she needs to respect the choices of others. If she's not willing to do that, then you can offer to have her attend as a guest "for her safety".

View Quoted Comment

I agree with all of this. Choose to stop fighting with her about this. Let her know you understand her concerns and help her arrange for her own lodging so she doesn't risk being exposed by everyone in the cabin.

Our wedding is October 3. A month ago we reached out to our bridal party and gave them the option to back out with no hard feelings. We told them that we did not want anyone to wear a mask during the ceremony or photos they could wear one the rest the time and that was completely their choice. We have 16 people in our bridal party and only one person opted out. Luckily for us it was the one person that was causing us the most stress. Your wedding. Your rules. If they’re not okay with that then it’s their choice but they need to respect your decisions as it is your day.

View Quoted Comment

Agree with this approach also. We had a couple elopement guests who wore masks throughout. Personally, I love the masked photos. We had fun with them during our portraits. Some without masks and some with. I look at those masked up photos as a reminder of what we went through to make our wedding happen, and they will be a story to tell someday down the line.

I see both sides. I understand where you wouldn’t want her to wear one especially for pictures. I also acknowledge how serious the virus is and I understand her wanting to wear a mask, but honestly if she’s going to be there in close proximity to people for an extended period of time wearing the mask is only going to do so much. If she’s THAT concerned with the possibility of getting the virus from the wedding, not attending at all would seem to be a better option. Not an easy choice, but it makes the most sense

I would ask her not to stand up with me or be in pictures if she wants to wear the mask the whole time. I understand her fears, but you also deserve photos without any reminder of this horrible pandemic. She could still opt to be in the wedding as a bridesmaid, but not stand up or be in a certain set of photos. Maybe she would want to jump in a photo with you with her mask on, which is fine. Or she may want to back out, which is also fine.

I don't think you should compromise on this. Again, you deserve photos that don't have masks in them. We all deserve to be allowed to forget this pandemic when it is finally over. If she is uncomfortable, she needs to step out.

Also, I'm confused--she is staying in a cabin with all of you? Or does she want all of the girls to keep a mask on during the ceremony because you are all staying in a cabin without her? Either way, she absolutely does not get to make requests of other people. Do not entertain such requests. If she is uncomfortable being around people not wearing masks, she doesn't need to attend.

Personally, if a friend kicked me out of her bridal party because I was overly concerned about my health, I would stop being friends with her.


If you value her friendship, I would let her wear her mask during the ceremony and pictures. With the cabin, I would tell her that you dont believe people will be 100% masked and you understand if she needs to find other lodging.
At the end of the day, just like you’re entitled to not want masks in you’re photos, she’s entitled to making her own decisions regarding her health.

Throwing out an "out there" suggestion, there's always photoshop!

Perhaps your photographer could take a few shots of her on her own at different angles - no mask - that could potentially be photoshopped into the group shots. Only her head would really need to be replaced if she still stood with the whole group. (This sounds funny saying it, but it's a possibility).

My wedding party wore their masks for the entire ceremony for my minimony and it's totally not a big deal. Most of the pictures at the altar are of the two of us, and all the wedding party altar photos are from a distance and they're all standing sideways anyway. I told them to do whatever made them feel comfortable, and they chose to wear them. They did choose to take them off for group photos.


I would allow her to wear the mask during the ceremony, based on my experience. You also have to consider that during the ceremony there is no way for all the bridesmaids to be six feet apart. I know that pictures are important, but her health is even more so. I promise that it doesn't look bad! Most of the photos that you'll cherish are of you and your spouse. You'll only want to display one or two group shots in your home after the fact. I hope she'll compromise for a few group pictures, especially if they're outside. Insist that she wear a mask that matches the dress or her skin tone (I matched their outfits and it looked good!), and let it be. As for the cabin, if she doesn't feel comfortable, then she should find other lodging.

View Quoted Comment

This suggestion about photoshop is kind of genius! I understand OP's concerns, but also feel strongly that we all need to respect each other's concerns about becoming infected. If it were me, I would absolutely want my friend to do whatever she feels she needs to to protect her health, so if she wants to wear a mask 24 hours a day that would be okay by me. (You could ask if you could provide one for her that would blend well with her complexion or the BM dress or whatever you want to do to be accommodating.) I also agree that it may be difficult for everyone to wear a mask at all times within the cabin, so I think it's reasonable to be supportive if she wants to make other lodging arrangements.

FWIW -- daughter and SIL's photographer took pictures of the all the guests at their wedding immediately following the ceremony. The B&G were coming back up the aisle, and the guests were asked to stand and turn toward the back of the ceremony space for the photos. Overall they turned out great, except there was one guest -- of course right on the aisle -- who stuck out his tongue and was doing "rock-on" hand gestures.... (Yeah, and he was probably in his late 40's -- not exactly the guest they expected to be kind of a jerk in photos....) There were other shots of him where he wasn't doing that, the photographer photoshopped a better version of the jerk-guest into the otherwise best picture of the group. If he hadn't told daughter he had done it and showed her the original, she wouldn't have ever known.... Good luck!

We cancelled our October wedding..it's just too high risk to still have it and put others at risk and not being able to relax and hug/kiss is going to be difficult.

It’s tough because everyone has a different comfort level with the virus. Given that, I would hate to force someone out of their comfort zone. For example, I see brides making sure that their bridesmaids feel comfortable in a certain dress. But when it comes to masks, the wedding party’s comfort zone seems less important and isn’t taking into account. Also, if 10 out of the 300 people in your small town tested positive, that’s 3% of your population. I live in San Diego (a much bigger city) and 0.5% of our population is positive. So technically (based on population) you have higher rates in your small town. Also, are all of your guests local? Or do some people coming home live outside of your small town? I realize that masks aren’t ideal. But it comes with the territory of hosting weddings during a pandemic.