I'm having a terribly hard time making this decision and am looking for some advice/feedback from those who have made it either way. Disclaimer, I have no qualms about changing my last name to my husband's last name: I always wanted us to have the same last name, want to have the same name as future kids, etc. My dilemma comes from deciding what to do with my maiden name. I hadn't given this any thought until a week before the wedding, so I'm not sure if it's just cold feet as actually changing my name was getting closer. The plan had always been to just change my last name, that's it.
So basically I don't have a middle name right now, my legal name is just FirstName LastName. When googling feeling weird/mourning the idea of losing my maiden name, I saw that some people make their maiden name their middle name. Now I can't stop mulling over what I should do, and I need to figure it out sooner rather than later. Pros of becoming FirstName MaidenName (as my middle name) LastName is mainly that I think it makes me feel better to have a sort of 'bridge' to my old identity while I change my name, as opposed to just jumping off the cliff and changing my name altogether. Another pro is that I will maintain a connection to my degrees, which are in my maiden name, and also just still be tied to my family. Cons are that both my maiden name and my husband's last name are long, so it would be a long name, and I don't particularly like how it looks all together (although the only place I would have it all together would be my driver's license/SS card/passport, I think??). Another con (although I'm not sure how much of a con it is) is that realistically, I will never use this middle name outside of legal forms where I am obligated to use my full name. I will introduce myself as Mrs. HisName, have FirstName HisName on all social media, etc. So, I'm unsure if there is any point to keeping it there officially if I will never actually use it. It mostly just feels like psychologically it would make me feel better for a bit, but on the other hand I feel like after I pull the trigger and just become FirstName HisName I would get used to it.
I have read countless threads on here and asked friends for their advice. If I already had a middle name, I feel like the decision would be easier: I would choose to keep the middle name my parents gave me, and I absolutely would not want to have 4 names. Because I don't have a middle name currently, it feels like a harder decision. I have friends who told me they actually wish they would have dropped their given middle names and kept their maiden names instead. I have a friend who also didn't have a middle name who made her maiden her middle, and she likes it and the continuity it provides her with any old paperwork (I didn't even know she had done this until she mentioned it, as she goes my FirstName HisName, so this would likely be similar to my situation). I still cannot make up my mind, so I'm looking for advice from those of you who have either made your maiden your middle, or just completely dropped your maiden: do you have any regrets? Do you feel there are pros or cons to one or the other that I'm missing? If you made your maiden your middle, in practicality do you feel like there was any point? If you just chopped off your maiden altogether, does the weird feeling go away? If you haven't done a name change yet, what are you planning on doing?
