Kid free wedding one exception

I feel like people would understand that extreme circumstance (assuming all the other guests with children are local and not traveling for your wedding)

I think most people would be understanding! I wouldn't advertise the exception ahead of the wedding, since then other people may start asking you to allow them to bring their children as well, but if anyone asks you why someone brought their child, you could explain the exception at that time.

Is this child a niece or a nephew? Are you planning to exclude children on both sides related in the same way? It’s always been perfectly acceptable to invite children in categories, for example immediate family kids only. If that’s not the case I’d either invite only close family children ( but no others) or provide babysitting services during the wedding rather than risk ruffling feathers but that’s me.

Thank you for the replies so far! The wedding is in Northern California and the farthest some people will travel that have kids is Southern California. I offered babysitting service to international family, but they refused. The child is FH's cousin's kid, so not super immediate family. FH's family is quite small compared to mine, we originally had the no kids rule so my family wouldn't basically take over the whole guest list.

View Quoted Comment If they are unwilling to trust a reputable sitting service or someone you know personally I’d be inclined to tell them it would be unfair to other cousin’s kids to make the exception. Their loss.

Even one child attending makes it no longer child free. People frequently say that no guests ever get upset that they have to find to find childcare or decline the invitation if they can’t and others are allowed to bring children without those same restrictions. That is absolutely not true and happens everyday where an invitation says that no children are invited (via the envelope with no kids’ names listed which is proper etiquette or less polite to make a mention on an insert/website explicitly that no children are welcome) and guests arrive to see any number of children invited who don’t have to follow the same rules, and that is not fair to anyone and creates upset instead of eliminating it. And the only reason the couple doesn’t think anyone is upset by their decision is that guests don’t say anything because it’s impolite to express any hurt or upset. .


Can you provide a babysitter in another room of the venue for the entire duration of the wedding? That is the only way that this will work.

This is what we had to do at our wedding. I wanted to invite the 20+ kids that belong to my FH's cousins, but at the time of our wedding, there weren't COVID vaccines for kids yet. So we let those people flying cross-country bring the kids, while the local kids had to stay home for safety's sake.

View Quoted Comment I wouldn’t worry about the exception then. People aren’t traveling a far distance and leaving their children behind, like the international family would be. It’s one thing finding a local sitter for an evening; it’s quite another leaving your child behind for days at a time in another country! I couldn’t imagine any normal, sane person not being understanding about that.

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I wouldn't want to find a local sitter to watch my children for days while I traveled out of town, whether from Southern California or overseas, particularly if all close family would be at the wedding. I think other out of town cousins would have reason to want that same exception.

View Quoted Comment Sure, some local-ish people may appreciate having that option. However, I couldn’t imagine somebody getting butt hurt over a bride allowing a family from another country to bring their child. And if they did, no offense, but it would be the epitome of selfish entitlement. People need to remember the world isn’t fair, and sometimes other peoples’ situations deserve consideration above our own. If there are certain people that can’t wrap their heads around that, then they need to reevaluate how they are going to function in society as whole; let alone as a guest at a loved one’s wedding.

If I could picture myself as one of your wedding guests, I'd see events in this way: I may notice small people at cocktail hour, and ask others whose children are these to which another guest would reply, oh that's the groom's family who came from X country. After which I would reply, "how wonderful they could attend!" End scene. I would not feel embittered that my kids (tho I have none) were not invited. The boundary is evident where foreign nationals get allowances. It's not like you're giving favors to only certain friends.


I'd like to add, I think it's considerate of you to make these allowances for your FI's smaller family. Although sides don't have to be 50/50 with the guest list, as someone who had fewer living relatives to invite to my wedding, there is a sadness therein and one is just thankful for those who can travel and support you. It's nice you two are being a team with helping your loved ones travel with some ease, though it's never easy! Best wishes.

I don’t disagree that exceptions make sense in certain circumstances. Again, whether a trip is domestic or international, it can be just as untenable to leave children behind at home. When we were invited to a wedding without kids and had no grandparents available either one parent stayed home or we sent regrets.

Nobody should care, it’s your day. People need to understand that there are exceptions.