Jealous sister

Have you addressed this with her directly? "I love you, and I'm so excited for you to be part of my special day. But when I hear stuff like that, it really hurts me." And see what she says. You could even say (depending on what she says), "I know you're working through some pain. Would you prefer I not talk to you about this stuff?"

I'm not saying she's right, but I wouldn't assume malicious intent. She's probably just hurting and doesn't realize how it's impacting you.

I would just leave her out of the discussion. Is this the same sister that isn't now in the wedding party anymore? If so, I can understand if she feels a bit salty about that.

Well it's too bad that she is unable to enjoy this experience with you. Rather than assuming she's jealous, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. It might be that she's feeling triggered because of her divorce, which is a really traumatic event.

So many issues around siblings and jealousy. It’s pretty frustrating. I understand this completely and have often been on the receiving end of jealous sisters. We are all much older now, but it’s not any better. Unfortunately things have just seemed to have gotten worse with age. I had always hoped they would get better. I realised a very long time ago though that I was no longer going to sabotage my own happiness to try and gain their friendship or to try and miminise igniting their jealousy. The jealousy is their issue, not yours. You can try give people perspective, get them to see the blessings in their own lives clearly but in reality you shouldn’t have to keep doing this, just to appease their own unresolved issues. Your sister is being toxic, clear and simple, she is jealous and rather than check her behaviour she is happy to carry on the negative verbal comments, this is not someone you want to let into your inner circle until they can address their behaviour. What happens when you have children? Things just get worse, if left unchecked, not better. Can you imagine her inadvertently taking her jealousy out on your children? If you are on good terms, you have a much better chance of getting through to her, you can tell her how much you love her and that you’d really like her to be happy for you, even if it brings up sad memories for her. Perhaps ask her if she’d prefer you to be single and not enjoying this moment, as her to remember how excited she was for her own wedding, and how she’d feel if someone was constantly saying negative things around her, if it were you, would she was able to enjoy hers? It really depends on her level of narcissism as to how she handles this. Hopefully she will realise the toxic behaviour she is exhibiting and challenge herself. This could be a great opportunity for growth and awareness for everyone if she chooses growth over envy. Good luck! Life is short, we only live once and it is so important to prioritise our own mental health and happiness. It is always sad when we realise those closest to us are not the supportive loving people we’d hoped they would be in our lives. Especially if you are supportive and loving to them.