It's us or her! So beyond furious. sil from hell!

She did that out of spite I wouldn't deal with it I would forget all about it and continue with your plans if she didn't have half a mind to remember your wedding date then you shouldn't have half the mind to reschedule. I have a similar petty issue myself with my FSIL where she is pissed off that our wedding is on her birthday and she had the balls to tell us to move our date! Hell no lol it's not my fault I had to push the wedding back a day for it to accidentally be on your birthday and same goes for you it's not your fault that she decided to get married on your anniversary date you can tell her that if she want you and your hubby to attend she better pick a new date and put your foot down on it too

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This is our 6 year anniversary and shouldn't be news to her. We decided to put our foot down about attending hers for sure but not sure how I feel about making people choose.

View Quoted Comment In my opinion she should have known better also I feel like she is acting like a child and if you are going to act like a child you should be treated as such

"Oh goodness, it's unfortunate that we have already scheduled that day. I guess we'll note down that you won't attend our celebration. Best of luck to you!"

Don't play ball. Don't get upset and don't add to the drama she's trying to create.

Can you just not pay any mind to her? Looks like shes going out of her way to piss you off. Just let her have what she wants. Be the bigger person. The hype will be shortlived

Wow that’s very spiteful of her!! Has your husband hasn’t said anything to her about it? If it was my sibling I’d speak up about it, but at the same time they know better. Smh it sucks that she’s like this. I say don’t change any of your plans..unfortunately guests will have to choose and if they’re smart, they’ll choose you guys. His mom is okay with her being that way too? Sheesh

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THIS. People like your sister thrive off of other giving in to the drama.

View Quoted Comment Agree with both post! Don’t mind her.

As everyone else has said, don't change your plans, and don't stress hers. From what you've told us here, her relationships don't last long. She might not even be planning a wedding anymore by the time September rolls around. That's plenty of time for something to go wrong lol chin up OP! Everything will work itself out!

I would block her on every platform possible; phone number, social media, email, etc. She sounds like a train wreck and not someone you want in your life.

I wouldn’t change anything. With her history there’s a strong likelihood she never even makes it down the aisle. Be kind towards her and other family members about the situation but move forward.

Wow, she sucks! I wouldn't reschedule, especially if you already set the date and told people about it. From the sound of it, she will probably be broken up before then anyways. Don't ask anyone to choose. Just continue with your planning and let them choose which one to go to, if it comes to that. If they favor her, and can't see what she is doing, then I wouldn't want that kind of drama at my event anyways.

View Quoted Comment Perfect response. She literally trying to get a rise out of both of you. Not to be be disrespectful towards her but don’t reschedule your day for a nasty person like that, and certainly don’t change it for a marriage that’s most likely not going to last

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I agree 100%

Do not negotiate with terrorists. Let it go.

Honestly I think she did this on purpose and I would notcancel or alter my plans to please her, especially being her 3rd engagement and probably not her last lol and you’re was booked and scheduled first. I️m so sorry you’re dealing with this!

I'm sorry just say sorry you won't be able to make it

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His mom hasn't yet said anything or even liked her facebook announcement. I will assume she hasn't seen it yet but his mom bac all of her decisions and caters to her and her sons even though her children live with the dad who was originally just a the donor. Too complicated for words. I feel like she cant even let him have one happy thing in his life. she destroys every holiday and insist we host so she can inform us how much better she could do. I am personally feeling unable to continue the relationship.

Don’t change your plans for her third wedding . People probably won’t go to her anyways . Even if they do, you could always have your during a different time (maybe before hers or after ) or just don’t worry about who doesn’t come

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"I am personally feeling unable to continue the relationship."

You don't have to. That's the thing that is sometimes so hard to wrap your mind around. You owe them nothing. He owes them nothing.

No one says that just because someone decided to have kids that those kids are on the hook for pleasing and caring for that person forever.

"she cant even let him have one happy thing in his life."

So maybe it's your job to step up and say enough. Unfortunately sometimes habits that we learn in childhood (making sure that your parents are happy with you) are very hard to break, especially with demanding parents that will flip the script and make it about how YOU are hurting THEM by standing up for yourself.

If someone were treating my husband this way, I would let him know that I see it, that I am on his side and that there is no reason to continue toxic relationships. It may take some time for him to come around, but he will start seeing it too.

.

If you want to take a more active role in protecting him from her, prepare statements for comments that you know are coming.

HER: "I don't like this Christmas dinner, I would have done ..."

YOU: "Oh good!! We're planning on being away next holiday so that means you'll be able to. I like that you're planning now!"

(Just make sure to maintain that you won't be there and do not attend)

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HER: "This house is a mess, if I were you I would clean it up."

YOU: "FH and I were so busy XYZing that we just didn't have time to take out the toothbrush and scrub the corners! If you'd like to chip in for a cleaning service, we're all for it!"

HER: "I'll come in and clean for you."

YOU: "Oh we would never allow that, we wouldn't want you to have to handle it. A service is fine and professional so they have insurance in case things break."

-------

HER: "I can't believe that you keep a dog/cat/bird/chimpanzee in the house! How dirty!"

YOU: "Goodness, we don't want you to be uncomfortable! Since BooBoo lives here, I'll get your coat so you can head home. Next time we can just meet at a restaurant."

So sorry to hear you're dealing with this frustration! I would ignore all of it as it may be to get a reaction of spite. Kill them with kindness!