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Savvy March 2020

Is it rude to invite someone to your wedding without their spouse?

Nicola, on February 15, 2021 at 10:30 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 27
Is it rude to invite someone to your wedding without their spouse?
I don’t have much room to add any more people unless I remove some. My mother has 2 friends that I know of-course as well. However, they are both married. They are both close friends with one another. Should I remove someone else just to add their spouses or ...? I’m so confused. Either way I feel crappy.

27 Comments

Latest activity by Infinity, on April 1, 2024 at 12:14 AM
  • K
    Savvy June 2023
    Kara ·
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    I would not do this. It’s extremely rude to invite someone without their spouse.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    That is extremely rude. You cannot ask someone to celebrate your relationship while disrespecting theirs. That applies to anyone with a significant other, be it 4 months together or 50 years. It's not for you to judge because they are a social unit.

    Will these folks be offended if they aren't invited and you meet up with them later? I would hate to cut a best friend for example to accommodate someone else's acquaintances who likely wouldn't care either way.

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  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
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    I would also avoid this. Think about if someone invited your FH to a wedding but didn't invite you

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Spouses and serious partners are a package deal – if you wish to invite one, you must invite both. The only exception to this is new relationships or flings for whom you can give a plus one at your discretion. Most people will be quite taken aback to receive an invite that does not extend to their de-facto partner/spouse and some will flat out refuse to attend.

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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    You have to invite spouses.
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  • Shirley
    Expert November 2020
    Shirley ·
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    Yeah you can't split couples. You'll need to trim the list somewhere
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  • Nicole
    Devoted August 2022
    Nicole ·
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    When it comes to married couples you should invite both people or neither of them.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Totally agree with everyone- extremely rude to not invite the spouse. They’re a package deal.
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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    I’ll also add- if it’s your moms friends and you don’t really want them there just don’t invite them.
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    THIS!!!

    Couples are a package deal, and need to be invited together. Are YOU and your fiancé close to these people? Or is it just your mom?

    We had to trim our list down and had to take off people that were really just friends of mine and my FH's parents, but we weren't close to them at all. It's fine to remove them if you don't see it as a necessity to have them there.

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I'm gonna go against the grain and say no, but many others will view it as rude. If you're afraid to offend then simply be honest with the guests and/or tell them you have limited guest count due to COVID and that you assumed they wouldn't come w/o their spouse.


    My mom was invited to a co-worker's wedding. The coworker invited a total of 10 ppl from her job and none of their spouses were invited. None of them were offended.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    It is rude BUT hear me out. Have your mom talk to them and see if their spouses even want to come. If the spouses don’t know you or your mom well they may have zero interest in going to your wedding.
    I have a couple friends who I’m close with, and they love my daughters, but barely know their husbands.
    Lots of people in my age group - 50s, older - have spheres of relationships that don’t really overlap. And this is pretty unrelated, but I have one very dear friend who is coming to my wedding and her husband is not invited. Yes, it’s rude to him but a kindness to her and other guests. I love her like a sister, but can’t risk him being there. She is grateful that her friends invite her places without him, if he were invited she would decline.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I’ve invited several co workers and about half have said they want to go but their spouses won’t - technically I invited them but know they couldn’t care less about their wives’ work friends wedding LOL
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I agree with this
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    It's extremely rude to not invite the spouse. They are a social unit and need to be respected as one. You not allowing their significant other could come off as you don't acknowledge or respect their relationship while you want them to come and support yours.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Exactly, perfectly said👏👏👏👏
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    If the spouse is abusive or similarly problematic that is the exception to the rule, but rare. But be aware that the spouse may possibly not let them attend in that case.

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    It's very rude and I wouldn't do it. Couples are a package deal

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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Married couples are a packaged deal. You cannot invite someone without their spouse. And if you do, it is rude and tacky. If I was invited to a wedding and my wife was not, there is no way I would attend!

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Yes, I've noticed that's usually is how it is.
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